Discussion For anyone who's reached out to others for help how did it turn out.

[Gstreater]

I've met a lot of people that always say reach out if you need anything like help, but i never do. It always feels like it won't do anything for me and only drag them down. How has your experience with reaching out to others been?

 

[onmywaytothebusstop]

I did to my doctor.
I currently have a psychiatric team visiting me a few times a week. Eventhough i still get heavy anxiety and self harm attacks, i do think it helps to relieve some of the pain.

Do i think it will change anything? No.
I feel guilty for continueing talking to them knowing ill ctb eventually.

I do regret involving them in my misery and if i could turn back time, i probably wouldn't.

 

[_Maya]

I've met a lot of people that always say reach out if you need anything like help, but i never do. It always feels like it won't do anything for me and only drag them down. How has your experience with reaching out to others been?

I tried psychiatrist, didn't do shit apart for prescribe me some medicine that feels like its some sort of placebo affect.
I tried to talk to some other people, but they always just gave me the same response of "i'm so sorry to hear about that" and "it'll get better."

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Badly. I regret it.

 

[Nervous young man]

I've been in the system for years now and nothing has helped a little bit. I would advise against sharing your depression with friends if you value that friendship. Once you share something like chronic depression people start to mourn you while you're alive and it damages your friendships. Some people are willing to stick through that but they are very rare. Being depressed all the time is an easy way to get abandoned by everyone around you.

 

[NonEssential]

I met my new school psychiatrist yesterday and got the next scheduled time to be in a couple weeks, so maybe I can answer this in the future
I had a psychiatrist at my last school, didn't seem to help much at all.

 

[devils~advocate]

I went to a counselor for a few weeks (maybe 8-10 or more times...until insurance wouldnt pay for it).
Sessions were about my marriage & interactions with my spouse.
But I told them during one session about my ctb plan. I was still formulating it at the time.
They were concerned if it was in the immediate future. I said it was in the future, just not any set day.
We went on to talk about other things. That was fine though..I wasnt expecting anything different.

I guess I was still at the stage of doubt.
After some time has passes since then, I realize that was just a phase.
I have to do this.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad (mostly).

People who parrot "reach out" really don't understand how things are very liable to go, in practice.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Mental health service wise it ruined my life.

Friends wise it has saved it more than once. Its tricky though. Times of trials test the friend.

 

[Moniker]

I didn't specifically reach out for help, but I told some folks that I had attempted to hang myself recently. Nothing really came of it. I was told to try therapy. Some BS about stuff getting better too.

I don't trust psychiatrists. I have never and do not plan to tell a doctor about it.

Overall, waste of time.

 

[tfnb]

I saw a therapist about a dozen years ago, and what I remember the most was them repeatedly telling me that they could "reach out to their colleagues"

Basically "tell someone who cares" in doctorspeak

My mother in law keeps telling me that I should talk to someone to deal with my grief and whatnot but I keep reflecting on that time

I'm also a much deeper introvert now and the idea of being the center of attention and being forced to speak about myself for an extended period of time sounds excruciating, especially to someone who would most likely try to report this site. ugh I hate normies.

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

After 2 visits to the shrink they recommended ketamine therapy. They gave me two places to get a drug evaluation before they could get me on anything. I came back for a 3rd visit and they said I could continue sessions but they didn't think it would do me much good without meds, so I said I'll come back after I get the eval. One place was really rude and condescending about uninsured self pay and the other one was a 2 month wait. Never got the drug eval and never had another therapy session.

Really hate all these useless hotlines. Wish we had affordable healthcare instead.

 

[Wakawaka]

my friends stopped reaching out to me or just ignored me, people including family complained and told me to stop being so open, my boyfriend blamed my depression on ruining his mood, when I tried to commit suicide and called him we had a big argument, my best friend since highschool cut me off twice despite always telling me I could tell him anything

 

[divinemistress36]

i got talked into ect when I was in the psych ward and gave me a lot of memory loss. So I regret going in patient . Most meds havent helped or made me worse. Therapy sessions are just a temporay distraction

 

[NoHorizon]

Telling friends never really helped me. It just made them uncomfortable and they said the usual "it will get better" kind of stuff. After a while they then stopped asking or actively avoided talking to me. I don't blame them - people only have so much empathy. I feel like I'm a black hole that just destroys anything that gets too close to it, so I'm trying to limit my harm by not talking about it anymore, but it's very lonely and painful to do that.

With all that said, I still would be reluctant to discourage someone from speaking to someone if they are willing to try. Doing nothing is definitely not going to make it better.

 

[Whole-Ad]

I reached out to my doctor when I first became depressed. Their immediate response was to try and take my drivers license away from me, rather than actually helping me. Luckily they didn't succeed but that really damaged my trust in reaching out to doctors ever again. I began ignoring all phone calls and texts from the doctor until he just kinda left me alone.

A couple months later I went missing after taking an overdose. I was taken to the hospital where the hospital psychiatric nurse saw me. She was kind but it didn't help me as I feel like it was just too late by that point. So she brought the crisis team in who then sectioned me.

I spent nearly 2 years sectioned in hospital. The first hospital I was in was awful. I spent the whole time in my room. I did make 2 friends who were in similar situations to me but to be honest I wasn't interested in talking to anybody about anything.

I was then moved to another ward where all the other patients were 45+. I was 21 at the time. But this ward was much quieter, no arguments, shouting or fights. The nurses had more time for me and it did kind of help for a bit. I tried to hang myself on this ward and got caught just before I passed out.

When I was discharged, things went okay for a while. But now I'm back to square one. I feel like I'm running out of time. So in the long run, nothing has really helped me. If anything it has just made it harder for me to CTB as I'm on everyone's radar and risk being sent back to the ward.

 

[WhenIBreathe]

I regret it. I feel guilty for burdening those I tried to be honest with. They can't help me.
But if you have people who really care about you reaching out could have a better outcome.

Telling friends never really helped me. It just made them uncomfortable and they said the usual "it will get better" kind of stuff. After a while they then stopped asking or actively avoided talking to me. I don't blame them - people only have so much empathy. I feel like I'm a black hole that just destroys anything that gets too close to it, so I'm trying to limit my harm by not talking about it anymore, but it's very lonely and painful to do that.

With all that said, I still would be reluctant to discourage someone from speaking to someone if they are willing to try. Doing nothing is definitely not going to make it better.

That's my experience too.

 

[80d1mebag$$$]

I reached out for help when I was 13. Since then I've been hospitalized 3 times, first time I was sent to a facility that I didn't belong in (13), 2nd time I was sleep deprived in an emergency room for 3 days due to them not being able to find me a spot in time (14), and the 3rd time I was treated less than human at the ward I went to (also 14).

Since then I forced myself to "get better" (all I did was suppress everything until it looked like I was improving) and for a while I kept that up until everything came crashing down. I'm 18 now and I'd rather be dead than go back to one of those terrible places.

 

[dontwakemeup]

Friends: Very judgemental, no understanding, they say stupid phrases and it's pointless.

Family: Pointless! They always need to know a valid reason for you wanting to ctb, even after you gave them a million reasons why.

Doctors: My primary Dr has been wonderful! I couldn't imagine life without my Dr!

Other specialist: if I can't be honest and say I want to stop existing, then we are both wasting each other's time! They just want to push medication and "fix" you. I'll learned to keep my mouth shut and I'll leave if and when I'm ready. No goodbyes, I'm done. I won't attend any funerals and please don't come to mines!

 

[NoFancyNames]

I've met a lot of people that always say reach out if you need anything like help, but i never do. It always feels like it won't do anything for me and only drag them down. How has your experience with reaching out to others been?

It depends, I had positive and negative experiences with that. Negative have been hurtful and initially related to reaching out to wrong people (such as my mother) that I assumed would be there for me but are just unable and want me to get over myself. However, I also have had beautiful experience of reaching out to people who have literally dropped everything to be with me and helped by spending time with me. Friends, people that meant what they were saying and that actually like me in good or bad. However, I have learned to filter to what I actually share with them, because they are not quite able to handle the details, because they do not understand and because of closeness it hurts them. So what I share is limited. I leave the details for sharing on this site, but yeah I do feel supported and cared about. I think just people have limited ability to understand certain stuff and unknown can be painful.

 

[Manola]

I'm very careful about saying anything to anyone. I have 2 friends, both of whom have some partial knowledge. My SO knows I have the plans and paraphenalia in place. He does not support me in my decision, although he does, more or less, respect the fact that it is my decision. He has neither pressured me to "get help" nor put me on an involuntary. That's not to say he wouldn't if he felt the risk was more imminent. Pero most people who start getting a clue do freak out a bit. So be very careful unless you like welfare checks and involuntary hospital stays.

 

[yowai]

Last time I did was with my bf who has been through awful shit together with me but he's practically born again now and I'm still struggling, so now when he's trying to help it feels condescending and all about having to get therapy lol even though I hate it and could never force myself to attend longer than two months. Practically lecturing me constantly
I don't feel better after talking to him anymore at all and it seems pointless, everything I say is a symptom for him or self pitying so I started distancing myself

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Not good, I've been to many doctors, on a dozen or so meds for couple of months, no improvement, it's not genetic, I just don't like living. What pisses me off is that a 12 year old would get the oh dear or gorgeous treatment but now that I am an adult I basically get told "though luck nobody cares" which is ??? , it's baffling. Or if it is genetic it's something very odd that is probably misstreated in real life, something with no actual diagnosis because there is no way it can be this hard to diagnose, I've been on anxiety, depression, adhd, bipolar, schizophrenia, psychosis meds for months, not one did anything for me, the psychosis meds just made me unable to do anything and that's kind of it.

 

[roundforest]

I've met a lot of people that always say reach out if you need anything like help, but i never do. It always feels like it won't do anything for me and only drag them down. How has your experience with reaching out to others been?

I've reached out when I started having severe physical manifestations of my depression. I was put in acute outpatient care, it helped to a point. However everyones situation is uniquely their own

 

[CapitánBeto]

After 10+ years of struggling with -what I think is- chronic depression, at 27 years old I started psychiatric treatment.

I'm taking Risperidone which helps with intrusive thoughts.
I also take Lamotrigine but I don't feel much of an effect.
I have ups and downs, I still feel a bit unstable...

But the best thing is that I've gently let my family and friends know that I'm undergoing treatment or at least some kind of therapy.
This way it will make more sense to them if some day I finally CTB.

I still haven't been completely honest with them about everything, but I'll try to let them in on it gradually.
What I fear the most are my parents blaming themselves for how I feel.

 

[CallmeWill4719]

I've met a lot of people that always say reach out if you need anything like help, but i never do. It always feels like it won't do anything for me and only drag them down. How has your experience with reaching out to others been?

Well the only person I can make it was my first therapist and they abandoned me as soon as I said the word suicide. So that traumatized me.

 

[Young.Werther]

One thing to consider: this site is going to give a biased POV, since the people for whom this worked are probably not on SS. That being said, I've found that reaching out is not a good idea. It hasn't really helped me, and it's seemed to make the other person's life worse (or at least not better). You'll find this on pro-life sites too -- they caution people to look after themselves or something along those lines. They understand that dealing with this sort of thing is extremely difficult. Personally, I've come to the conclusion that there isn't a point to reaching out. It just pushes people away, and the messaging to the contrary is something the pro-lifers say to feel better about themselves, it's not in earnest. I think if you understand it in that framework, then it's not such a bad thing. The pro-lifers can feel good about themselves and (if you see through it) then you don't get caught up in the false hope.

I've certainly lost people after telling them. I don't think "professional" spaces (eg therapist) are any better. I'm not sure what you expect them to do exactly...