Can certainly relate to ya, OP.
I'm in the process of getting on disability* at the moment. The only reason I'm doing it is because I'd be getting more money than I am now - to go straight into an account for end-of-life expenses. Or even have everything prepaid.. I'd prefer not to leave my family with thousands of dollars of debt, if possible.
*but I'd still have to look for non-existent jobs to get disability, even though the point of disability is for people who can't work!