Five weeks, anxiety sky high

[Huggs]

I'm still scrambling to gather supplies. My date is five weeks from now. My life is really falling apart and there's a chance I'll be caught through the supplies arriving as I don't live alone and can't hide how completely terrible I am doing. I want to combine CO and SN for the sake of lethality. Sourcing SN and the things needed for it is very difficult, I'm trying to get domperidone now, the right charcoal and the right containers to transfer charcoal into. It's a mess. I'll be a little more calm once I make it to that week where I have time to myself. I'm sure I'll panic when CTB'ing but the anxiety of being caught won't be as heavy, and I'll no longer have to fear going homeless and experiencing more of this horrible existence.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm nervous too. I really can't keep putting it off.

Do you feel good about executing a pure CO attempt? It's not like SN would really potentials its lethality.

 

[Huggs]

I'm nervous too. I really can't keep putting it off.

Do you feel good about executing a pure CO attempt? It's not like SN would really potentials its lethality.

Oh, I didn't know that the effects of CO and SN don't "stack" so to speak. I wanted to combine the two because I felt they would stack effects and I have a lot of fear around the idea of one method failing me, the thought was that using them both would cover for that.

I'm nervous too. I really can't keep putting it off.

Very understandable. There's the stress living in all this too. And then, even when you desperately want to pass on the fear that can come up and survival instinct is a struggle to get through, I don't think I could do a method like jumping for example, that would be one of those last resort methods for me.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Oh, I didn't know that the effects of CO and SN don't "stack" so to speak. I wanted to combine the two because I felt they would stack effects and I have a lot of fear around the idea of one method failing me, the thought was that using them both would cover for that.

Very understandable. There's the stress living in all this too. And then, even when you desperately want to pass on the fear that can come up and survival instinct is a struggle to get through, I don't think I could do a method like jumping for example, that would be one of those last resort methods for me.

Usually combining methods lowers the chance of either one working. Both SN and CO kill you by fucking with your blood chemistry. I wonder what will happen if both poison you at the same. It sounds kind of risky honestly.

 

[Huggs]

Usually combining methods lowers the chance of either one working. Both SN and CO kill you by fucking with your blood chemistry. I wonder what will happen if both poison you at the same. It sounds kind of risky honestly.

That makes sense, I didn't know combined method attempts have lower likelihoods of succeeding but yeah that checks out when you think about it. I thought because they impact the blood differently it would be alright…like already being sick and then getting another sickness. I'll have to think about that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I haven't really had people suggest CO and SN both could actually lower my chances.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

That makes sense, I didn't know combined method attempts have lower likelihoods of succeeding but yeah that checks out when you think about it. I thought because they impact the blood differently it would be alright…like already being sick and then getting another sickness. I'll have to think about that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I haven't really had people suggest CO and SN both could actually lower my chances.

I don't know if it wouldn't be perfectly fine. But it is true that the more variables we add, the greater room there is for error. I'm curious about how it would play out but you don't want to be a guinea pig during your suicide attempt.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so cruel how people have to struggle so much to die but anyway I wish you the best of luck with your plans, I hope that you eventually find freedom from all the suffering.