Venting First time post

[Buñuelo]

Hi all!
I've lately thinking more about ctb, but still have no plans. It's just that when I start making plans, I get really sad about leaving my family and all that.
I would like to be brave like in my dreams, and just get over it.

 

[Finalnight]

Welcome to Sasu :)
It's ok to feel this way, I don't want to leave my family either, but I have no other choice, I hope you still have another one, if you don't then there's no reason to feel guilty about, and remember you're not being selfish, but you have to care of yourself first

 

[Buñuelo]

Thanks for the welcome and your words
I've been thinking about ctb for as long as I remember, and eventually came to terms with the fact that I will, most likely, die by suicide.
I still have a choice, as I thankfully enough am not in a hurry. I've decided that I'd like to plan my suicide as much as possible, but the moment I start getting things ready, I start crying! I wish the moment I actually do it, I find myself at peace.

 

[KarmicRain]

sounds a lot like me. I wish I could find it in me to stop caring about my family enough to ctb but I just don't. instead i just muddle along and struggle constantly and it kinda sucks a lot. I hate it. I can't not hate it but I'm still here.
Maybe your situation's different or maybe you just need some better advice. either way people are pretty welcoming