Story First PROPER attempt failed

[Panopticon021]

Long time lurker first time poster

Life long depression/anxiety sufferer. Finally hit the bottom of the well, started calmly looking around for methods. Feeling totally comfortable with it, have wound up other areas of my life for the end.

Stopped taking my meds they were only helping with my research and preparation anyway

Called in sick, but left for work like normal so nobody thought anything was up. Bought myself a few hours

Went into the Bush, found a secluded area. Easy for emergency services to access, but far enough that I wouldn't be interrupted.

Scheduled text messages on my phone to a friend and an emergency number. 5 hours from now

Backpack full. Burner phone. Music. Dozen beers, headphones, variety of ropes, belts, small tools. Didn't have a particular tree in mind. Have to account for variables. Long tow rope as main rope, smaller ropes for neck loop/last minute change of method

Tried partial method. Couldn't find my carotid pulse strongly but still went ahead. At best I started making a snorning sound but still in 100% consciousness. Couldn't even get light headed. Thought I was following methods on here but couldn't get it right

Frustrated, climbed tree. Not enough pressure on arteries? Sat in tree for a while. Tugged on rope with neck trying to make myself woozy. Sorta worked, slowly slipped my butt out of tree, fell into full suspension.

Panicked, entire pressure on windpipe, rope position moved when I fell out of tree. Panicked, managed to loop leg around another tree branch and pull myself up.

If I had found a tree that had strong branches that stuck out further from the trunk, i wouldn't be here. But I don't want to die choking slowly and painfully because I'm a coward.

Today, sore neck, grazes, cuts. Probably going into care today at the insistence of others.

But this still needs to end. Partial is probably off the table here?

The night night method looks great, could do it while listening to some music or watching TV??

Or have I done something wrong with partial hanging? A post of lostallhope said the right side of the head. I was hanging with my head tilted, to suit....sounds like i need both compressed?

What is the key to compressing both veins without restricting breathing?

Cheers in advance

 

[RitaM]

I'm sorry you experienced that. I also tried full suspension and somehow must have clawed the rope off me. I badly damaged my vocal chords and had to hide ligature marks with scarves and jumpers. I also had a suspected neck fracture but it turned out to be a false alarm.

In my experience partial suspension is proving difficult but I keep trying. Sorry I don't have any advice. Just sending hugs. I've also done the scheduled messages/emails and I know there's a sense of loss at having failed.

 

[Panopticon021]

I'm sorry you experienced that. I also tried full suspension and somehow must have clawed the rope off me. I badly damaged my vocal chords and had to hide ligature marks with scarves and jumpers. I also had a suspected neck fracture but it turned out to be a false alarm.

In my experience partial suspension is proving difficult but I keep trying. Sorry I don't have any advice. Just sending hugs. I've also done the scheduled messages/emails and I know there's a sense of loss at having failed.

I have a sore throat and a shallow 2 inch cut on my neck but that's about it.

I was happy yesterday, as I knew the end was coming. Now I'm surrounded with people telling my "we know how you feel" and "I've been there"

My employer has been notified. He's awesome, but on top of everything else is now a permanent coating of the worst embarrassment imaginable.

This has no stop.

 

[RitaM]

Oh yes, the sore throat. I still have that a bit but it was like the worst throat infection for a while.

It's not the worst embarrassment imaginable. It's nothing to be ashamed of, although I know that's easy to say. I don't know you at all but your post really resonated with me - you sound strong and brave, and I feel for you.

 

[woxihuanni]

Whatever your next method, give yourself more time than 5 hours. I cannot imagine anything more miserable than having the pressure of time even as I die.

 

[RitaM]

"But I don't want to die choking slowly and painfully because I'm a coward."

You are definitely not a coward. I don't remember much about my attempt at full suspension but I do remember the jolt and choking feeling, it was like the worst pain imaginable and all of my survival instincts kicked in. You are human, not a coward.

 

[sleepy dog]

Yea, I don't agree that you are a coward. Survival instinct is extremely strong even in suicidal people. Its very difficult o overcome. If it wasn't suicide would be so easy, and many more people would do it.

 

[Panopticon021]

I think I am going to try the partial/kneeling method to try and find the "sweet spot" so I pass out without pain.

I was excited when I started making the snoring noises out there on the forest. I just didn't fade away like I should have! I'm looking forward to the end, just not slowly and painfully.

The images that appear in your head while you are choking hurt more than the physical pain. I need to shorten that window as much as I can.

Any definitive videos/advice you have on the artery sweet spots or partial suspension/ Passing out easily greatly appreciated

I've already bookmarked the night night method and some autoerotic video that someone posted about kneeling suspension

Whatever your next method, give yourself more time than 5 hours. I cannot imagine anything more miserable than having the pressure of time even as I die.

That was one of the hardest parts of the preparation. Called in sick day before,confirmed day of. Pretended I was going to work.

I promised myself that nobody I knew would find my body. And I didn't want to go somewhere for too long that a "missing person" report goes out.

I just want to slip quietly away without fanfare.

Time (that I am gone,unnoticed) and neutral location are providing to be 2 of the hardest ingredients

 

[Blackjack]

There are so many failed hanging attempts on here, I'm surprised people still try this method.

 

[Meppitech]

I failed with the night night method two nights ago. Waited til everyone was asleep because I was supposed to be gone before everyone in the morning and got a hotel. I was excited because I had found the sweet spots earlier that day with my hand but when it came time to used the tools for the final constant pressure I couldn't manage it. This stuff is harder that it seems. Don't beat yourself up.

 

[toxicfox]

Tie 2 knots in the rope that goes around your neck in such a way that they fit on either side of your windpipe, allowing easier breathing and direct pressure on the arteries by the knots.
I can draw up a sketch if you'd like or grab a rope and paste a pic for an example

 

[Powderedmonster]

Tie 2 knots in the rope that goes around your neck in such a way that they fit on either side of your windpipe, allowing easier breathing and direct pressure on the arteries by the knots.
I can draw up a sketch if you'd like or grab a rope and paste a pic for an example

I'd really appreciate a sketch or pic tbh, I'm having the same problem

 

[toxicfox]

Alright give me 5 mins
Like this but make the knots bigger, shouldn't be near as much pressure on the windpipe and more pressure on the arteries like this. DONT use a dog lease like this though... get a good reliable rope that'll make a good knot. But as you can see it is indenting around the windpipe you can see the dip from even the small amount of pressure I'm applying

 

[Rheaz]

Alright give me 5 mins
Like this but make the knots bigger, shouldn't be near as much pressure on the windpipe and more pressure on the arteries like this. DONT use a dog lease like this though... get a good reliable rope that'll make a good knot. But as you can see it is indenting around the windpipe you can see the dip from even the small amount of pressure I'm applyingView attachment 16899

Long time lurker first time poster

Life long depression/anxiety sufferer. Finally hit the bottom of the well, started calmly looking around for methods. Feeling totally comfortable with it, have wound up other areas of my life for the end.

Stopped taking my meds they were only helping with my research and preparation anyway

Called in sick, but left for work like normal so nobody thought anything was up. Bought myself a few hours

Went into the Bush, found a secluded area. Easy for emergency services to access, but far enough that I wouldn't be interrupted.

Scheduled text messages on my phone to a friend and an emergency number. 5 hours from now

Backpack full. Burner phone. Music. Dozen beers, headphones, variety of ropes, belts, small tools. Didn't have a particular tree in mind. Have to account for variables. Long tow rope as main rope, smaller ropes for neck loop/last minute change of method

Tried partial method. Couldn't find my carotid pulse strongly but still went ahead. At best I started making a snorning sound but still in 100% consciousness. Couldn't even get light headed. Thought I was following methods on here but couldn't get it right

Frustrated, climbed tree. Not enough pressure on arteries? Sat in tree for a while. Tugged on rope with neck trying to make myself woozy. Sorta worked, slowly slipped my butt out of tree, fell into full suspension.

Panicked, entire pressure on windpipe, rope position moved when I fell out of tree. Panicked, managed to loop leg around another tree branch and pull myself up.

If I had found a tree that had strong branches that stuck out further from the trunk, i wouldn't be here. But I don't want to die choking slowly and painfully because I'm a coward.

Today, sore neck, grazes, cuts. Probably going into care today at the insistence of others.

But this still needs to end. Partial is probably off the table here?

The night night method looks great, could do it while listening to some music or watching TV??

Or have I done something wrong with partial hanging? A post of lostallhope said the right side of the head. I was hanging with my head tilted, to suit....sounds like i need both compressed?

What is the key to compressing both veins without restricting breathing?

Cheers in advance

I'm sorry you experienced that. I have also had problems with partial. I can't bring myself to try full suspension because I am terrified that it won't be quick and I will slowly strangle. SI is so hard to overcome. You are in no way a coward.

Alright give me 5 mins
Like this but make the knots bigger, shouldn't be near as much pressure on the windpipe and more pressure on the arteries like this. DONT use a dog lease like this though... get a good reliable rope that'll make a good knot. But as you can see it is indenting around the windpipe you can see the dip from even the small amount of pressure I'm applyingView attachment 16899

That's a great idea. What type of knot would you recommend? How do you get the knots exactly where you need them?

 

[toxicfox]

I'm sorry you experienced that. I have also had problems with partial. I can't bring myself to try full suspension because I am terrified that it won't be quick and I will slowly strangle. SI is so hard to overcome. You are in no way a coward.

That's a great idea. What type of knot would you recommend? How do you get the knots exactly where you need them?

I just do a normal knot honestly. Double it up or triple it up until it's the thickness you desire. Get the first one where you want it then make it tight really..

 

[HopelessFashionista]

I just want to slip quietly away without fanfare.

Me too. I am right there with you. Why is it so hard?!!

 

[Return2Dust]

You are not a coward. This method is hard. I can't figure out how Chris Cornell (exercise band), Robin Williams (belt) and Kate Spade (scarf) were able to hang themselves with such simple things. I failed trying all three in partial.

 

[Panopticon021]

UPDATE

I'm in a care facility. I got sectioned under our local mental health act.

I use the word "care" loosely as the first thing I was told was that nobody useful works in the weekends so just wait here until Monday.

One of my biggest triggers for anxiety and depression was shame, regret and low self

This place takes those smoldering feelings and puts gasoline on them all. Its not quite "12 monkeys" but its BAD.

Lots of time for thinking over the next few days. You can call that a bad thing or a good thing.

Now I've got nothing to do,will keep you posted. I'm in a psych ward AMA lol

 

[Blackjack]

You are not a coward. This method is hard. I can't figure out how Chris Cornell (exercise band), Robin Williams (belt) and Kate Spade (scarf) were able to hang themselves with such simple things. I failed trying all three in partial.

And Anthony Bourdain (hotel bathrobe belt) and L'wren Scott (scarf). I'm convinced that celebrities have access to a hanging horse whisperer that provides them professional consulting services that regular people are not privy to.

UPDATE

I'm in a care facility. I got sectioned under our local mental health act.

I use the word "care" loosely as the first thing I was told was that nobody useful works in the weekends so just wait here until Monday.

One of my biggest triggers for anxiety and depression was shame, regret and low self

This place takes those smoldering feelings and puts gasoline on them all. Its not quite "12 monkeys" but its BAD.

Lots of time for thinking over the next few days. You can call that a bad thing or a good thing.

Now I've got nothing to do,will keep you posted. I'm in a psych ward AMA lol

Please don't attempt hanging again.

 

[Pony]

I'm in a psych ward AMA lol

Long time lurker first time poster

Life long depression/anxiety sufferer. Finally hit the bottom of the well,

Are you into Oot speedruns or am I reading into this too much

 

[Panopticon021]

Are you into Oot speedruns or am I reading into this too much

I just had to Google that to see what the meant. So no. But I've got a shitload if time, plenty of days,and now I'm going down a Google hole

 

[HopelessFashionista]

And Anthony Bourdain (hotel bathrobe belt) and L'wren Scott (scarf). I'm convinced that celebrities have access to a hanging horse whisperer that provides them professional consulting services that regular people are not privy to.


Please don't attempt hanging again.

Lol so true. How do they do it?!

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

There are so many failed hanging attempts on here, I'm surprised people still try this method.

Yeah, seems like the only ones that nail this method are children & celebrites...

 

[BlackCatTalk]

I've been thinking about my method... I'm going to lose weight, don't know... Maybe 83 lbs, I know that I can because I'm starving my self in many times, anyway! Then I'm gonna drink SN or something else, please tell what do you think about my method? Feel free to comment please.

 

[Pony]

I've been thinking about my method... I'm going to lose weight, don't know... Maybe 83 lbs, I know that I can because I'm starving my self in many times, anyway! Then I'm gonna drink SN or something else, please tell what do you think about my method? Feel free to comment please.

Why go through the process of starving yourself?

 

[BlackCatTalk]

to cause damage to my heart and that there is no way to return, it will be like having worn it out and then putting a bomb on it.

 

[Pony]

SN done right should be enough though you would just be starving yourself for no reason