Venting First post, venting about why I'm here.

[Dwilson1217]

Hello all. I've been lurking for a while and decided to make a post.

I feel like my reasons are rather pathetic but I'll talk about them anyway. First of all, I've suffered from depression for a large part of my life. I'm 25 and I've been diagnosed with depression since I was 16. I've always sort of managed it to some extent. I was a great student, fairly bright and I ended up graduating froma really good college.I even have plans to go to grad school for mental health counselling.The irony isn't lost on me, don't worry.

Everything in the last year for me has been dark though, darkest of which is the fact that my long time girlfriend, whom I was with since I was 19, left me over the summer. I've been struggling with the break up for months now, and last weekend really through me for a loop.

My ex called me last Friday, told me she was seeing someone new, but that she missed me so much and wanted to get back together. Then the next day, she called me again to take everything back, used PMS (are you kidding me) as an excuse for what she said and said she was gonna stay with the new guy.

This has really sent me over the edge, and I've been have suicidal thoughts all week. I don't think it's my time yet, but I have enjoyed the warm people on this forum and and happy to be here. Pro-choice forever.

If anyone is here due to relationship things and troubles, I'd love to talk to you, I don't have enough posts to PM yet. But I'll start making some posts soon so I can.


Thanks for reading! Hugs!

 

[color_me_gone]

Do you have much of a social life?
I'm guessing not, what with your working hard at school.
Loss of love is a really shitty reason to ctb, yet it is a major one.
Do you know that you don't really fully mature until you are 25?
That goes for both male and female.
A lot of relationships which develop before 25 are doomed,
because as you continue to mature, your attitude toward different things changes,
and you and/or your SO drift apart.
What your GF did to you was really shitty, and very immature.
I don't think she knows what she wants, and she did you a favor breaking up with you.
If she was your first love, I know that is really hard on your heart.
Most people go through at least a couple of breakups before they finally find their lifemate.
The first is always the hardest.
After your first breakup, you kind of harden your heart, so future breakups are not so difficult.
I had my first girlfriend when I was 27.
After 6 months, we broke up, because I had to relocate 600 miles for career advancement.
She didn't want to follow.
My second girlfriend was at 29.
That lasted 6 months as well. She left me for someone else.
Met my 3rd girlfriend when I was 32, she became my wife at 33.
I'm 67 now, and still married to the same lady.
3rd one was the charm.
But yeah, the first breakup was the worst, after that, not so bad.

It could take maybe 6 months to get over her, but once you do, you will wonder why you wanted to ctb.
My heart goes to you......

 

[Dwilson1217]

Do you have much of a social life?
I'm guessing not, what with your working hard at school.
Loss of love is a really shitty reason to ctb, yet it is a major one.
Do you know that you don't really fully mature until you are 25?
That goes for both male and female.
A lot of relationships which develop before 25 are doomed,
because as you continue to mature, your attitude toward different things changes,
and you and/or your SO drift apart.
What your GF did to you was really shitty

Thanks so much for the kind words. I do have a decent social life, with friends who have been supportive during the last few months, which makes me feel even worse for feeling so bad about what happened.

You are right, I'm not ready to ctb over this one person and it's a dumb reason to.

She was my first real love I guess, you're spot on with the pain, I'm working every day to see the positives and not dwell on it! I can't waste any more of my youth!

 

[Sweet emotion]

What she did was absolutely disgusting. PMS my ass! PMS doesn't make you donthings like that. What she did was just cruel and I'm sorry about that.

 

[Dwilson1217]

What she did was absolutely disgusting. PMS my ass! PMS doesn't make you donthings like that. What she did was just cruel and I'm sorry about that.

Ugh I know, crazy how you can spend 6 years with someone and they just don't respect you.

 

[OreoWellington]

We should definitely talk. I did originally come here exacerbated and more recently affected by a breakup and haunted by a past of relationship troubles and it (the memories) still continues to hurt me to this day. I could use a friend to discuss past relationship difficulties/traumas with. PM me as soon as you have the ability to.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

12 years of marriage and two kids here. I feel like it's about to all go swirling down the drain. If and or when it does I'm gona swirl down with it. I can't lose them and I'm not going to try to start over again.

 

[Dwilson1217]

We should definitely talk. I did originally come here exacerbated and more recently affected by a breakup and haunted by a past of relationship troubles and it (the memories) still continues to hurt me to this day. I could use a friend to discuss past relationship difficulties/traumas with. PM me as soon as you have the ability to.

Definitely would love to chat, I think I get them tomorrow so I'll definitely shoot you a PM

12 years of marriage and two kids here. I feel like it's about to all go swirling down the drain. If and or when it does I'm gona swirl down with it. I can't lose them and I'm not going to try to start over again.

I really hope it ends up being ok for you. I bet it's super hard to juggle relationship issues with kids involved.

I wish you well friend.

 

[color_me_gone]

@Dwilson1217
A trick many have learned here on SS:

1. select your method
2. research it carefully
3. plan exact how you would carry it out (if you can)
4. acquire the necessary physical things you need for your method
5. then sit on them

There is a special satisfaction in knowing you are in full control of your own destiny.
Knowing that you can pull the plug quickly if things get real bad, seems to make it easier to deal with them.
Knowing that you have a peaceful and well planned exit, is reassuring.
It is kind of like giving life the finger.

 

[trynacbt]

I'm not here for relationship issues per say, but I'm definitely struggling with them. Please PM me when you get the chance. I hope you will find solace here, and I'm sorry for the loop your ex threw you for.

In my case unfortunately my ctb is going to hurt my ex a lot. And I've thrown him for his own loops. Sometimes all we can do is try our best.

 

[Dwilson1217]

@Dwilson1217
A trick many have learned here on SS:

1. select your method
2. research it carefully
3. plan exact how you would carry it out (if you can)
4. acquire the necessary physical things you need for your method
5. then sit on them

There is a special satisfaction in knowing you are in full control of your own destiny.
Knowing that you can pull the plug quickly if things get real bad, seems to make it easier to deal with them.
Knowing that you have a peaceful and well planned exit, is reassuring.
It is kind of like giving life the finger.

I'm thinking about doing that as well, just to feel like I have some control. I might wait till.i move from my parents house in January though as I don't want them to be upset or find anything.

I'm not here for relationship issues per say, but I'm definitely struggling with them. Please PM me when you get the chance. I hope you will find solace here, and I'm sorry for the loop your ex threw you for.

In my case unfortunately my ctb is going to hurt my ex a lot. And I've thrown him for his own loops. Sometimes all we can do is try our best.

I hope you find peace with your issues, relationship struggles and all. I'll definitely shoot you a PM later tonight when I can, it's always good to talk.

 

[CrushedHopes]

I've had relationship troubles before as well, but nothing near your scale nor severity. I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find peace.

 

[DoNotLet2]

She is a bad, broken woman who is just playing with you.
I know, it is a very hard thing to do, but take a deep breath and think "she's not worth it". Good woman wouldn't be treating you with so little respect.

 

[Dwilson1217]

She is a bad, broken woman who is just playing with you.
I know, it is a very hard thing to do, but take a deep breath and think "she's not worth it". Good woman wouldn't be treating you with so little respect.

My logical brain says this is true, but I can't stop the emotions.

 

[DoNotLet2]

My logical brain says this is true, but I can't stop the emotions.

I totally get it. Soo maybe you should find a way to deal to suppress/handle the emotions? Like walking, exercising, writing, drawing... Something to calm you down.

 

[Dwilson1217]

I totally get it. Soo maybe you should find a way to deal to suppress/handle the emotions? Like walking, exercising, writing, drawing... Something to calm you down.

I've been trying everything, the thoughts about it at this point are nigh intrusive. I just can't seem to distact myself from the pain for more than a few moments. It's a shot way to live.


Thanks for the advice though, I really appreciate your kind words.

 

[drake4871]

Sorry you had to go through that, it definitely gets better... but I'd be lying if I didn't say it hurt like hell first. Best thing you can do is distract yourself (hobby?) and maybe look at it as an opportunity to find someone who won't mess with you like that. Keep your chin up OP

 

[color_me_gone]

Some people enter into a "rebound" relationship, which does a real good job of killing your pain, but is a really shitty thing to do to the other person, because you most likely are not interested in long term.

 

[woxihuanni]

Hope you come through this. But yes, it is excellent advice to have your exit ready and then sit on it.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

But yeah, the first breakup was the worst, after that, not so bad.

It could take maybe 6 months to get over her, but once you do, you will wonder why you wanted to ctb.

This is so true! My first breakup i thought my life was over. I was completely devastated. Looking back- feel completely ridiculous for it. Esp me being 14 that time. Like really?

Im sorry OP- but remember no one is worth your life. Dont give that much power over to someone. Your very much important and you deserve to find someone better

 

[DoNotLet2]

You have to give yourself time... The memory should be getting gradually weaker and easier to deal with. You should go to a psychologist if you have access to.

 

[Dwilson1217]

Sorry you had to go through that, it definitely gets better... but I'd be lying if I didn't say it hurt like hell first. Best thing you can do is distract yourself (hobby?) and maybe look at it as an opportunity to find someone who won't mess with you like that. Keep your chin up OP

I've been using the time to focus on myself at the very least, I've began to work out and take care of myself better.

Some people enter into a "rebound" relationship, which does a real good job of killing your pain, but is a really shitty thing to do to the other person, because you most likely are not interested in long term.

I don't know how people (including my ex) do things like this and lie to themselves.

Hope you come through this. But yes, it is excellent advice to have your exit ready and then sit on it.

Thank you for the kind words, it does feel empowering to plan it, even if I don't think it's my time yet.

This is so true! My first breakup i thought my life was over. I was completely devastated. Looking back- feel completely ridiculous for it. Esp me being 14 that time. Like really?

Im sorry OP- but remember no one is worth your life. Dont give that much power over to someone. Your very much important and you deserve to find someone better

It's not even technically my first break up, it just feels like it :(

You have to give yourself time... The memory should be getting gradually weaker and easier to deal with. You should go to a psychologist if you have access to.

I know that time heals with this stuff, I just feel like I haven't made any progress in feeling better since the day she left me

 

[DoNotLet2]

Maybe your progress has to be slow, I don't know. If you have a good memory it will take time to make this memory weak. It's ok. It's normal to be ultra sad like really sad about a break up especially hard break up.

 

[color_me_gone]

I just feel like I haven't made any progress

The length of time varies significantly between people and situations, but the guarantee is you WILL get over it. Taking care of yourself is the best possible thing you can do, and you deserve it.