First own apartment, your stories.

[Reiraku]

Hey guys.

I am likely getting my own first apartment on the 1st of June, moving away from my parents and brothers. With 24 years no less. I absolutely hated it at home, nothing but bad memories, and wanted to leave ASAP. But now that I am about to move out I feel rather anxious and second-guess everything. I often think why should I spend all this money (deposit, rent, etc.) and subject myself to all this stress of moving places if I'm going to die soon anyway. Or that it might worsen my mental condition being completely alone from this point on. It's like "why should I make my life harder now if I don't have much of it left anyway" and thinking I could just spend that money on fun things. Despite that, I am currently expecting to move along with it.
To the people here who got their own place, what was your experience moving out like? Was it a good choice or a bad one, did it go well, what was your first apartement like, how did you manage, anything I should know beforehand? Feel free to share your stories and experiences.

Cheers.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Moving into your own place is a massive step into the adult world, the world were reality of many things, fucking sucks even more, your own cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc etc

BUT getting your own space, being in your own bubble is an amazing feeling, being able to opt out of society when it gets to much and hid on the sofa for a week with no one nagging you, nothing can beat that feeling.
Just made sure your bills are paid, then ensure you have food in the cupboards, the rest is irrelevant and just a bonus to existing.
If you feel your mental health may deteriorate being alone, esp if its your first time, then before you go, have coping strategies planned, a number of a trusted friend on speed dial.


You sound like you want to CTB soon, but we never know what's going to happen tomorrow, if this move feels right for you, go with the flow, and let thing's guide you.

 

[GoBack]

It's the best feeling Ever. You'll find out. Have fun

But yeah make sure rent and bills and food are done and then whatever you like.

 

[Epsilon0]

When I got my first apartment, I remember that nights were a bit hard as I felt very lonely and it was odd there not being anyone else in the house with me. But the days!!! Oh!!! Best feeling ever!!!

Good luck with the move.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Fantastic. Had a little shared house and I could do whatever I wanted. Freedom. I even had fairies to clean up after me.
Yeah there's lots of crap to deal with like bills and stuff, but it's nowt compared to the freedom you get to lie in, watch TV in your pants and get drunk all night.

 

[Cosmiq]

My first place was technically in a building owned by my parents, but just being out of my moms' house bought this additional sense of relief. I think having a pet can help if you ever get lonely, and can keep help with your routine and keeping good habits. Also it helped, being able to have someone to blame stuff on like my dog. Or the fact that even though he's small and basically harmless, that if I heard something his ears usually perked up too.
There's a certain amount of freedom that comes with declaring my space as underwear only space lol. I like that if I can't sleep, I can actually get up and do something without worrying about having to keep quiet for someone else.
I lived with someone who was a good friend after my first apartment, and thought this should increase my social interaction but it didn't. I'd be affected by their moods and lack of communication. I saw more sides of them, like the jealous and insecure sides that would make me feel like shit if I was being really creative, high maintenance, or tried to improve myself. I'd feel left out more, than I would have when I lived alone as it was easier to convince myself it wasn't a lack of invitation but just that I lived on the other side of town and they probably ran into each other. Having someone, who ignored my emotions all the time but constantly needed to be catered to was one of the things that fueled my decline around then.
Now living alone again, I feel a sense of ease. No pressure to seem any kind of way, or fear of doing something embarrassing or that could be judged. No compromises. No worries, that my apartment smells rank at 2am in the morning because I failed at cooking something new.

Just keep up with your bills to manage stress. It's your place, and you get to do with it whatever you want. No ones expectations matter if you like it.
Because of Covid-19, I'm actually in a tough place. Either I try to tough it out and cross my fingers for a new job before my funds get low, or I take all I have and move back with my parents. So far I've chosen to tough it out. If I lived with my parents I could spend my money on some new things. But I'm not sure how much I'd l even care about those new things if I were under my mom's roof again. And I don't think it's bad to live with your parents, it's more about the relationship I have with my mom and stepdad that makes not want to move back rather than being an adult living at home.

 

[mediocre]

I was moved into assisted accommodation at 17 and I hated it so much I moved out after 2 months. Then I got my own flat. Initially it was good but I got lonely very quickly and have been ever since. I am 27 now. I don't function well day to day. Ideally I'd like to be living with others but have my own room and space. Living alone is not for everyone.

 

[terry_a_davis]

First place i got i moved in with a gf and often had friends over so was never lonely but the area was a dump and by a nightclub so very busy/noisy and a couple of the neighbours were idiots so overall it wasn't good. Got somewhere else better a few months later and was happier.

 

[Werewolf]

It's a big step so of course it's scary, just don't try to take it all on at once, do a little bit here and a little bit there.
In the beginning it will feel wierd to have your own place, it won't feel like home but just give it a couple of weeks for your head to acclimate and it will be fine.

Just make sure to keep it clean and pay your rent and bills on time, the rest will work itself out.

My parents rented me my first apartment, a tiny 1-room flat at 16, looking back i was way too young and iresponsible . But they basically wanted me out of the house and I thought it was very cool to get my own place.
Always had friends over and all we did was party so I ended up getting evicted after just 6 months lol.

Bought my own place at 21 and I'm still here 10 years later.

 

[noaccount]

I've never had a place "by myself," except when I squatted in an abandoned house, lived out of my car, or set up campsites in the woods outside of towns when I was houseless. Other than that I've always had housemates. Personally I don't mind doing my own cooking, cleaning, etc - rather grounding contemplative routines for me actually. Congrats on getting out! Hope it's good for you!

 

[SpareWheel]

First time I left home I was about 17, perhaps early 18. I moved into an apartment block, and within about an hour I had a knock on the door from a neighbour, a kid I'd known a bit at school. Told me about how the complex worked, and to avoid a certain drug dealer living there that bullied/bribed people into burgling houses, and that I should never ever leave my place with anything valuable inside if I said no to the guy. The other places all had heroin addicts in, and there was a pub at the end of the street filled with ne'er do wells and prostitutes. That whole area now is a warzone filled with Kosovans/Iraqis/Syrians all fighting each other, as if it wasn't bad enough back then.

I was back home before nightfall. Took another 3 years til I finally moved for good, and by that time I was wise enough to choose better.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

My apartment is possibly smaller than a standard US prison cell. I went there because of my seizures,or rather, my father's reaction to my seizures.
Unless you know what to look for, you will probably not notice them. The small ones, at least. Well, my dad studied. He didn't study too well, but he studied, and for the most part caught them well.
The problem is that every time I had a seizure in his presence, he'd call an ambulance, and ambulances are pretty damn expensive. My bank account nearly died, my dad nearly died because he drew his anxiety up the wall with diagnosing me and then calling me every ten minutes until we agreed to call each other saying good night. He's calmer now because he doesn't see me seize every so often.

As for the place itself, it's cheap, it's tiny, it's a shithole that I REALLY need to clean. Without my parents yelling at me to clean my room, shit has gone south. Depression certainly doesn't help. I try, though. It could be more of a shithole, but it isn't. I really need to clean the place up.