Finally .. I have everything! Sn chronicles

[ojinzo]

I got home today and found this waiting for me. I'm so surprised it arrived today as I thought it was stuck in customs. I have the meto, propanol and SN.

Now I have everything and mixed feelings.I feel so relieved and the anxiety is almost debilitating. The thought set in that these are my final days on earth. I am terrified but I'm tired of the pain and stress and... I'm just tired.

Tomorrow I get paid and will have the money to book a hotel room. To be honest, I'm just so scared. The week I've dreamed of is finally here and I'm numb.

Please do not reply if you have something mean or negative to say. I just can't deal with any form of passive or overt aggression. Thank you

 

[ManicPanic2018]

Same boat here my friend. Ready to go at any point. Think I'm gonna stick around for a few days to get some affairs in order and do some nice things for my family before I go . My degree is in digital art, I decided today I'm going to make them something to help remember me before I go.

I just wrote my final checklist of things to do. Write my letters, empty my bank account after payday on friday, set up a discord with a bot to share with my friends that I have passed When I'm guaranteed gone. Get some nice photos together for people, that kind of stuff.

It feels like the last days of Rome, and I'm gonna go out with as much good shit as I can.

I wish you all the best of luck and will happy to be an ear if you need one.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would be relieved at having the option of SN but I'm sorry that you have to deal with this anxiety as well. I think that for many it can be hard to let go of fears associated with ctb, even know it's the only real way to find freedom from all problems and suffering. I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[Al0neAlwayz]

Wow, that is good news about not being stuck in customs! I pray you find the peace you are searching for and when you decide to do it, I hope you go quickly without pain or complication. I wish I could be up there to go with you. :)

 

[Judy Garland]

Glad to hear that you aren't mad at IC anymore. It was way over the top. I'm tired too. I know you're scared. What are you afraid of? Afraid of the dying process? Afraid of failure? These are normal fears, but try not to be afraid. I have those fears too.

 

[ojinzo]

Wow, that is good news about not being stuck in customs! I pray you find the peace you are searching for and when you decide to do it, I hope you go quickly without pain or complication. I wish I could be up there to go with you. :)

Thank you so much.

 

[theboy]

Good trip
Peace

 

[Cerulea]

I got home today and found this waiting for me. I'm so surprised it arrived today as I thought it was stuck in customs. I have the meto, propanol and SN.

Now I have everything and mixed feelings.I feel so relieved and the anxiety is almost debilitating. The thought set in that these are my final days on earth. I am terrified but I'm tired of the pain and stress and... I'm just tired.

Tomorrow I get paid and will have the money to book a hotel room. To be honest, I'm just so scared. The week I've dreamed of is finally here and I'm numb.

Please do not reply if you have something mean or negative to say. I just can't deal with any form of passive or overt aggression. Thank you

Seems like some feelings of overwhelm would be totally normal in that situation. I imagine I would be having a difficult time processing what this means. I'm sorry you're feeling such big, conflicting emotions. Exhaustion does weird stuff to people, can confirm. I hope you get to rest and sit with this development while you find what feels right to you.

 

[Littlewittlelight]

I got home today and found this waiting for me. I'm so surprised it arrived today as I thought it was stuck in customs. I have the meto, propanol and SN.

Now I have everything and mixed feelings.I feel so relieved and the anxiety is almost debilitating. The thought set in that these are my final days on earth. I am terrified but I'm tired of the pain and stress and... I'm just tired.

Tomorrow I get paid and will have the money to book a hotel room. To be honest, I'm just so scared. The week I've dreamed of is finally here and I'm numb.

Please do not reply if you have something mean or negative to say. I just can't deal with any form of passive or overt aggression. Thank you

My friend I am with you. Nothing ever goes wrong if you are ready. It's about being ready it's about attempting I was a chicken I ran away but couldn't. I still wish I was feeling numb or sth. I think it's a good thing if you are numb it would help I hope your SI won't kick in and it doesn't if you are calm man. If you need to talk I am here just like all these other people. Peace and love to you my friend I want to follow your path soon and so many of us would be there to hug you. You aren't alone I hope whatever you believe in.
Fly high

 

[Hope:-)]

Hiya. I too have everything now.Wishing you the very best! xx