Venting Finally found that sweet spot

[FERAL_FRENZY]

Not even sure if this counts as a vent post, but whatever. I'm on cloud nine, and I just wanna put my thoughts and feelings out there.

After weeks of trial and error, I finally found my carotid arteries. My means of suicide are very limited, so ultimately I settled on partial hanging. Today I used a belt and a sturdy doorknob and managed to make myself pass out in under 20 seconds. Fucking hallelujah. Lying crumpled on the floor has never felt better. There was little to no pain; it felt surreal, fading out of consciousness for a brief moment. It's everything I ever wanted and more. I'd be in tears if it weren't for the fact that I've already cried 10 times this week and practically have nothing left to give.

I'm so tired, both physically and mentally. Life just isn't for me, and I've made peace with that ages ago. This all feels very bittersweet. I wish with every ounce of my being that things could've gone differently for me. But there's no use dwelling on that now. The hard part's over, at least. Now I just need to find something better to use other than a belt. Maybe the universe is finally having some mercy on a lost cause like me. I need to atone for my sins somehow, right?

 

[leloyon]

Godspeed, I hope you find peace.

 

[NewPerspective]

I wish with every ounce of my being that things could've gone differently for me. But there's no use dwelling on that now. The hard part's over, at least. Now I just need to find something better to use other than a belt. Maybe the universe is finally having some mercy on a lost cause like me. I need to atone for my sins somehow, right?

I hope this message reaches you well. Your own death is not needed to atone for sin, that is a lie. God has already given the perfect sacrifice to forgive your sin, that sacrifice was the death on the cross of Jesus Christ. "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

It is not too late to turn back, you have value, you have a meaning in this world. "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." You are not too far gone, there is no evil you could have done that cannot be forgiven by the death on the cross.

Before making this decision, call out once more, call upon the name Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness.

"For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God; so turn, and live."

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

I love you and I plead with you to call out to him and he will give you life.

Reach out to me for anything.

 

[xandermax]

Sometimes just knowing you have a peaceful exit is enough to carry on. Same is said by people who finally have Nembutal in their possession.

You have agency now. I hope it brings you relief.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I send you my wishes.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel relief, I also see existence as not being for me and I also feel so tired of it all but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Evelyn Lane]

Not even sure if this counts as a vent post, but whatever. I'm on cloud nine, and I just wanna put my thoughts and feelings out there.

After weeks of trial and error, I finally found my carotid arteries. My means of suicide are very limited, so ultimately I settled on partial hanging. Today I used a belt and a sturdy doorknob and managed to make myself pass out in under 20 seconds. Fucking hallelujah. Lying crumpled on the floor has never felt better. There was little to no pain; it felt surreal, fading out of consciousness for a brief moment. It's everything I ever wanted and more. I'd be in tears if it weren't for the fact that I've already cried 10 times this week and practically have nothing left to give.

I'm so tired, both physically and mentally. Life just isn't for me, and I've made peace with that ages ago. This all feels very bittersweet. I wish with every ounce of my being that things could've gone differently for me. But there's no use dwelling on that now. The hard part's over, at least. Now I just need to find something better to use other than a belt. Maybe the universe is finally having some mercy on a lost cause like me. I need to atone for my sins somehow, right?

Mind mentioning how you found your sweet spot? I've been unsuccessful up until this point.

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

Mind mentioning how you found your sweet spot? I've been unsuccessful up until this point.

Actually, I followed some of the steps in one of your posts! I believe the title was: "Why Everyone Fails at Partial Hanging."

In my case, I kept placing the belt on the incorrect regions of my neck (by my Adam's apple or at the base). So anytime I applied pressure, it felt really painful, like if my head was swollen with blood. The idea was to secure it as high as possible underneath my chin, center it, and then gradually bend down and apply pressure. You'll know you've found the perfect spot when you feel little to no pain or choking sensations. You'll feel fuzzy and numb, then slump forward.

I hope I've answered this as accurately as possible. ^^"

I hope this message reaches you well. Your own death is not needed to atone for sin, that is a lie. God has already given the perfect sacrifice to forgive your sin, that sacrifice was the death on the cross of Jesus Christ. "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

It is not too late to turn back, you have value, you have a meaning in this world. "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." You are not too far gone, there is no evil you could have done that cannot be forgiven by the death on the cross.

Before making this decision, call out once more, call upon the name Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness.

"For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God; so turn, and live."

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

I love you and I plead with you to call out to him and he will give you life.

Reach out to me for anything.

You should probably stop posting stuff like this in Suicide Discussion. Pro-life rhetoric is looked down upon by the majority here, and you've done this to several other people. You don't even know whether they're religious or not. Stop trying to be a hero. I don't know you, and you're not "saving" anyone. Frankly, I think you should get perma-banned. I'm an atheist and don't believe in any "god," nor do I want to subscribe to the disgusting, outdated ideologies of one. Stop trying to shove it down my fucking throat.

 

[Davey40210]

Actually, I followed some of the steps in one of your posts! I believe the title was: "Why Everyone Fails at Partial Hanging."

In my case, I kept placing the belt on the incorrect regions of my neck (by my Adam's apple or at the base). So anytime I applied pressure, it felt really painful, like if my head was swollen with blood. The idea was to secure it as high as possible underneath my chin, center it, and then gradually bend down and apply pressure. You'll know you've found the perfect spot when you feel little to no pain or choking sensations. You'll feel fuzzy and numb, then slump forward.

I hope I've answered this as accurately as possible. ^^"

You should probably stop posting stuff like this in Suicide Discussion. Pro-life rhetoric is looked down upon by the majority here, and you've done this to several other people. You don't even know whether they're religious or not. Stop trying to be a hero. I don't know you, and you're not "saving" anyone. Frankly, I think you should get perma-banned. I'm an atheist and don't believe in any "god," nor do I want to subscribe to the disgusting, outdated ideologies of one. Stop trying to shove it down my fucking throat.

Thank you so much Evelyn and Feral for your advice. It took me a lot of trying to find the same as you. High under the chin and bend my head forward. Not sure if it is different for other people but it was a really clear explanation.

As for your comment to NewPerspective I fully agree.. I understand he wants to help people but this is not the place.

I will say that you're braver than me - I haven't been able to become fully unconscious as I seem to chicken out right before. Hope I pass out accidentally on the next try. Otherwise full suspension hanging will be next.

 

[Evelyn Lane]

Actually, I followed some of the steps in one of your posts! I believe the title was: "Why Everyone Fails at Partial Hanging."

In my case, I kept placing the belt on the incorrect regions of my neck (by my Adam's apple or at the base). So anytime I applied pressure, it felt really painful, like if my head was swollen with blood. The idea was to secure it as high as possible underneath my chin, center it, and then gradually bend down and apply pressure. You'll know you've found the perfect spot when you feel little to no pain or choking sensations. You'll feel fuzzy and numb, then slump forward.

I hope I've answered this as accurately as possible. ^^"

You should probably stop posting stuff like this in Suicide Discussion. Pro-life rhetoric is looked down upon by the majority here, and you've done this to several other people. You don't even know whether they're religious or not. Stop trying to be a hero. I don't know you, and you're not "saving" anyone. Frankly, I think you should get perma-banned. I'm an atheist and don't believe in any "god," nor do I want to subscribe to the disgusting, outdated ideologies of one. Stop trying to shove it down my fucking throat.

Hello,

Thank you for your reply. I am glad to hear that the information I shared has been useful to you! :)

I have some more questions, actually, if you got the time to answer them.

1) When you say "then gradually bend down", what exactly is bending down?

2) Did you actually lose consciousness? Can you confirm you did?

3) Do you remember whether you were breathing or not? And if you were breathing, how loud was it?

Thank you

 

[Marco77]

Actually, I followed some of the steps in one of your posts! I believe the title was: "Why Everyone Fails at Partial Hanging."

In my case, I kept placing the belt on the incorrect regions of my neck (by my Adam's apple or at the base). So anytime I applied pressure, it felt really painful, like if my head was swollen with blood. The idea was to secure it as high as possible underneath my chin, center it, and then gradually bend down and apply pressure. You'll know you've found the perfect spot when you feel little to no pain or choking sensations. You'll feel fuzzy and numb, then slump forward.

I hope I've answered this as accurately as possible. ^^"

You should probably stop posting stuff like this in Suicide Discussion. Pro-life rhetoric is looked down upon by the majority here, and you've done this to several other people. You don't even know whether they're religious or not. Stop trying to be a hero. I don't know you, and you're not "saving" anyone. Frankly, I think you should get perma-banned. I'm an atheist and don't believe in any "god," nor do I want to subscribe to the disgusting, outdated ideologies of one. Stop trying to shove it down my fucking throat.

So in your case the rope tightened only under the chin?