Story Final Affairs

[acconctntxnj]

I need to know if handling my responsibilities are worth it. I'm at terrible risk of homelessness, hospitalization, even being killed if I don't kill myself. Whenever I'm ready to die, it's because I'm afraid of fricking living nightmares for dangerous situations created in houses, workplaces, social environments, everywhere. Everyone tells me to be stuck with it, brokwn down by it, grow into it, LAUGH about it. They say THEY do it, want me to do it WITH THEM. I need to take a lot of guilty sickos to criminal court. I need my health treated as complicated and high-caliber to get those rare specialists who know they're doing, give a shit about my situation and their responsibilities, and keep back a world meant to hate their training and my recovery. I need to be alone. I need solitude and peace and frugal paradise. I need small town living and taking time to trust people and small shop work and volunteering, so few people and so little society in my home town I can make sense of. I need my sicknesses to not be everyone else's weapons, to not be sicker so they "punish" me for trying to break from them or to drag me to their messy level. I need fricking justice and the savage amateurs from politics to the public to back the fuck off my chance at testimony, or to be adults, put in the work and sacrifice that I am, and stop wanting everyone to have the same problems and attitudes. I need to know where this site stands. I'm not afraid to die. I'm afraid of worse than hell on Earth lasting forever, and i get recruited into eternally reinforcing it once I'm "just like everyone else".