I want there to be hope, but just because I want it, doesn't mean it's there. As far as I can tell now, I have very few options should I attempt to keep living into 2023.
The problems:
-I have untreated mental health disorder, BP I'm pretty sure, maybe other things
-I have no healthcare, even if I signed up for the free county healthcare in my area (not sure if I qualify bc I haven't been working for months) I still couldn't afford to get help.
-I am about to lose my housing. I don't have a job. Even if I had kept the last job I got (which my mental health issues prevented me from keeping) I still would not have made enough money to keep my apartment.
- I cannot just go rent another place, even if I got 2 jobs tomorrow. Requirements in my area are you need to make 3x the monthly rent to get approved for a place. The only reason I am in this apartment now is because I co-signed a lease with someone and they bailed and I kept paying the bills.
- I don't have family I can move in with. Discussed my issues with my mom, she is apathetic to my situation, and just told me to go find a cheaper apartment. I have an uncle that would let me move in, but he is abusive, and has assaulted me multiple times in the past. He is also manipulative and will treat me like a house slave.
I don't know what to do now. Sure there are government programs out there... but there are long waiting lists for discounted housing. Plus these places are not in good areas, lots of crime etc and I would be living alone. I don't truly want to give up, but I don't foresee any way out now. Thinking about drinking the SN makes me very sad but, I am at a loss of how I will be able to even survive as a normal person without mental illness.