LavĂnia
plalace
- Feb 19, 2024
- 159
"Did something happen?"
Yes, it did. You're bringing up a topic, trying to make me connect with someone I don't feel anything for. While I'm shaking as I go to a new psychiatrist to drug me. Is she going to drug me? That was expensive. It was the first time I was direct with you, "I don't want to talk about it." You asked that right after. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, in 5 years, 5 fucking years. 5 FUCK YEARS. It was the first time you clearly showed concern, or any feeling for me. It's the record of the greatest kindness you've ever shown me.
"Fair enough. Send me news."
What news? What would I say? What do you want me to say? Am I a robot? A generator of alerts?
- Hey! Today I understood that my agony with the breakup was because I was finally sure that you don't care about me, that you don't love me at all.
- Hey! Today I thought about cutting my throat. I sat on the couch for 2 hours, staring at the wall, convincing myself that I had reasons not to cut it. In the end, I didn't do it because I was tired, and I fell asleep. I couldn't find any reasons. You were one of them, the only one I had.
- Hey! Today I was really angry with you, and I also regretted not having tried harder to get us together. You had already rejected me, why did you go back, asked me? I just need to know this: why? Why? Why? Why? I was accepting that I could live differently, I was starting to focus on myself. Why did you bring up this subject again, to date? Why? Why? Why?
I asked you, and you answered. You answered. You answered. You answered: "Because I had nothing to lose."
"and after you disappeared I realized how... slow everyone is"
What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean?
Was I important? I had some weight, didn't I? Something, I was something, something, something. Don't forget me, please, don't forget me. I'll never forget you, you cursed me. You destroyed the last bit of hope in myself. You're the only person I don't have to try to care about, it's natural. Automatic empathy! True love! love. love. love. love. love. love. love. love. love love. love. love. love
Yes, it did. You're bringing up a topic, trying to make me connect with someone I don't feel anything for. While I'm shaking as I go to a new psychiatrist to drug me. Is she going to drug me? That was expensive. It was the first time I was direct with you, "I don't want to talk about it." You asked that right after. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, in 5 years, 5 fucking years. 5 FUCK YEARS. It was the first time you clearly showed concern, or any feeling for me. It's the record of the greatest kindness you've ever shown me.
"Fair enough. Send me news."
What news? What would I say? What do you want me to say? Am I a robot? A generator of alerts?
- Hey! Today I understood that my agony with the breakup was because I was finally sure that you don't care about me, that you don't love me at all.
- Hey! Today I thought about cutting my throat. I sat on the couch for 2 hours, staring at the wall, convincing myself that I had reasons not to cut it. In the end, I didn't do it because I was tired, and I fell asleep. I couldn't find any reasons. You were one of them, the only one I had.
- Hey! Today I was really angry with you, and I also regretted not having tried harder to get us together. You had already rejected me, why did you go back, asked me? I just need to know this: why? Why? Why? Why? I was accepting that I could live differently, I was starting to focus on myself. Why did you bring up this subject again, to date? Why? Why? Why?
I asked you, and you answered. You answered. You answered. You answered: "Because I had nothing to lose."
"and after you disappeared I realized how... slow everyone is"
What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean? What does this mean?
Was I important? I had some weight, didn't I? Something, I was something, something, something. Don't forget me, please, don't forget me. I'll never forget you, you cursed me. You destroyed the last bit of hope in myself. You're the only person I don't have to try to care about, it's natural. Automatic empathy! True love! love. love. love. love. love. love. love. love. love love. love. love. love
