Feels like I am postponing to ctb.... I have the means though..... Does anyone feel the same thing....

[Socaku]

I have the means.... I am ready.... But still postponing it.... Why?

 

[lostmylove]

You haven't got over the instincts keeping you here. It's hard. But these survival instinct stuff is not only inherited I've realised they're Society and culturally, this makes it even harder.

 

[Chiisai]

You are not alone. I feel you. I have made several attempts but all were half-hearted because I do not want to feel pain and and every passing day becomes unbearable.

 

[lili]

I can relate. I am not sure why I am postponing. Not sure what I'm waiting for exactly. I've taken a lot of medications and they don't work. Got prescribed one that didn't work. I've still done overdoses on antipsychotics and mood stabilizers.

 

[Socaku]

I can relate. I am not sure why I am postponing. Not sure what I'm waiting for exactly. I've taken a lot of medications and they don't work. Got prescribed one that didn't work. I've still done overdoses on antipsychotics and mood stabilizers.

We are on the same train, I am taking medications but still..... I forgot how to smile from my heart....

 

[hopelessgirl]

I actually changed my mind (I think). I'll still keep my SN though. Just in case I need a way out of pain some day when I get old.

 

[Graytaichi]

I actually changed my mind (I think). I'll still keep my SN though. Just in case I need a way out of pain some day when I get old.

Congratuations. No one wants to get old. How are u btw.

 

[Red Scare]

I'm kind of in the same boat, I have everything I need. My life fucking sucks, and I am so unhappy I don't know why I don't do it right now.

I guess I just feel like I need to get everything in my life in order first, get my affairs wrapped up nice and neat to make it easy on my next of kin who will have to deal with the fallout. I feel like I am getting there but I keep procrastinating too, like with everything I do. I'll probably forget some thing important, and then it will be too late I'll be dead. So I am trying to think of everything.

Aiming for the end of the month, and trying not to psych myself out. I just need to get my shit in order, and then make a plan and stick to it.

 

[ArcherFiles44]

Feel the same way. Have the SN need the meto.
I have never felt so alone and unhappy. Maybe subconsciously waiting for a breakthrough. Acting like I'm ok to others when I'm not. I don't want to stay in this pain killing myself slowly. Death is always an option. I'm not coping with mental illness and heartbreak at all.

 

[ArcherFiles44]

Have had a change of heart to acknowledge my shadow self and claim my wounded inner child.
True, death is always option and is inevitable anyways, so why not explore this dream called life that we will all wake up from eventually no matter how many lifetimes or paths we take.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Same. I could just order the SN, but a number of factors is stopping me. Seems like I am just extending my suffering.

 

[Hirokami]

I can relate. Ordering SN would be easy for me. It's not N, but beggars can't always be choosers. And getting the prescriptions I need wouldn't be hard, either, save for one.

Though, ending one's life is easier said than done. The SI kicks in and backing out seems inevitable. There's just something about facing one's end that sends chills down the spine. However, if my life keeps going down the shitter, I might just end up trying to find solutions to overcome SI.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

We are on the same train, I am taking medications but still..... I forgot how to smile from my heart....

"I forgot how to smile from my heart" @Socaku You should have that made up as a Canvas print and framed! That would sell Well

 

[forgotten15]

I feel the same. I have everything since February and I am still here. For me it's fear of the unknown, what comes after death. I know it can't be worse than life itself but still didn't go through with it. Just today I had everything prepared but couldn't do it. I am so sick of being stuck here. It's just my fault I am a coward.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I also feel like l'm stalling, My doggy best friend Max has passed,but now almost 3 month's later l find myself looking at Rescue Dog's on the RSPCA website and thinking of adopting one?

 

[ATM]

I'm thinking of the exit bag route. put a big strong bag on my head today just to get a feel for the first time.
Sometimes I feel so shit that I think there won't be any stopping me but hey with the bag on the head - hmm.
I know that with inert gas there won't be any breathing issues but it's the psychological effect of a bag on my head.
Anyway going to play around a bit with it to try and acclimatise.

 

[outrider567]

I'm thinking of the exit bag route. put a big strong bag on my head today just to get a feel for the first time.
Sometimes I feel so shit that I think there won't be any stopping me but hey with the bag on the head - hmm.
I know that with inert gas there won't be any breathing issues but it's the psychological effect of a bag on my head.
Anyway going to play around a bit with it to try and acclimatise.

Exit Bag or also an EEBD hood, Greenberg says either one is fine, pages 56 and 58 on the inert gas mega thread here--Tested my exit Bag twice with Nitrogen flowing, its just like breathing air(but hissing sound so I use earplugs), oximeter showing my oxygen being depleted from my body at a rapid rate, from 98 to 50 in just 20 seconds

 

[TrappedInBody]

Same here. It feels like I'm stalling. I've postponed so many time (because of my mum), and finally decided to give myself a deadline. But now that seems so far. I really can't hold on for that long.

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

I've lived past my original ctb date because I didn't want to leave too many bills for my family to have to deal with. I'm just trying to wrap up things nice and neat but I don't know if I'll ever be able to because of poverty.

I've lived past my original ctb date because I didn't want to leave too many bills for my family to have to deal with. I'm just trying to wrap up things nice and neat but I don't know if I'll ever be able to because of poverty.

I just want to consolidate everything