Discussion Feels like a knife in my heart

[Fadeawaaaay]

Feeling suicidal feels like a knife twisting in my heart… what does this feel like to you?

 

[FuneralCry]

Living can certainly be very painful. I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. It does hurt me a lot, being alive. I think that in my case, the pain will only end when I die. I am very tired. I wish you the best.

 

[cheesepancake]

I felt the same. Now it's more like a dull, constant throb that I am sort of used to. Hugs

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Feeling Suicidal is bloody horrible,it's like having a heavy metal sign hanging around your neck with the word's Help Me written on it that no-one else can see, Being forced to exist in a world as a ghost surrounded by the living, unknown unloved unwanted, just repeating yesterday's existence over and over until the blessed time arrives when you can finally let go and leave the world that has already forgotten about you!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've experienced that terrible kind of pain grieving for family that have died but oddly, my suicide as a concept has long felt reassuring- like a backup plan if/when I don't want to cope with life anymore...

Of course, the reality of actually going ahead with it is something altogether different. I think the most common emotion I have around it is frustration.

Up until now and until my Dad passes, it's been a frustration that I couldn't do it to him- it would devastate him. I reckon it may still continue afterwards though because I don't know I'll ever pluck up the courage to do it.

Plus, there's the frustration we all share that any attempt isn't easy, could fail with dire consequences and no one knows what happens afterwards. I guess the frustration can get so intense that it hurts, although it's not really a sadness for me.

I guess I've had suicidal thoughts for so long now (32 years) that they are no longer frightening or sad but part of my normal, everyday thinking.

 

[Hope:-)]

Life feels like that for me. Suicidality feels like a release.x