feeling unwanted

[ren4215]

feeling very unloved and incapable of expressing myself. my relationship feels like it's at its breaking point and i don't want it to be because we promised to reunite (long distance due to us not being able to afford bills at the time) next year. it just feels like i do everything, give my time and money, just to get ignored in return. even my own family just takes from me and gives me nothing in return. i'm lonely all the time and just feel like absolute garbage 24/7. i want to ctb sooner than i planned. i'm just so tired of feeling unwanted by everyone in my life, more accurately, feeling like an option more than a priority. i need to figure out the method i want to use, i reached the point of not having fear anymore. God, i hope it goes the way i want it to. i want to finally rest.