Venting Feeling too ugly and unworthy

[lovelypirategirl]

Hello dear SS friends,

In the past few days I've been feeling particularly ugly and unworthy again. My thoughts are a mess and I'm not even able to put them into words...

I've been rejected once again by a man and it only makes me confirm my ideas of being ugly and completely unworthy. I'm 27 years old and last time I had a boyfriend was when I was 13 and we were together for 2 years (we broke up on my 15th birthday... being Mexican imagine how sad was that). After that, I've had one night stands with guys or short friend with benefits "relationships" (until they ghost me or something like that). Now during these times is harder for me to be single... all my closer friends are starting to get married or they are in long, stable relationships and in this whole time I haven't had a partner.

People usually tell me that I'm beautiful and have a beautiful smile... for me that's so hard to believe, there are even days I can't stand seeing myself in the mirror (I don't know if you've ever felt like this but it's HORRIBLE). And sometimes I fantasize eith plastic cirgury (even considering to go to Colombia and get a combo of plastic cirguries).

Now I've been ghosted by a man again and you know, my brain can't even understand why and I start to get obsessed. I've reread the conversations trying to understand what did I do wrong? Why again? Why nobody wants to be with me...? I just don't want to feel rejected ever again

Thanks for reading until here and if there's someone looking for a friend, please let me know

Love,

LPG

 

[SpottedPanda]

Sorry to hear about your rejection.

Sometimes we're our own worst critics.

I've been single for years now. I had something resembling a relationship, but it was more of a friendship, and an unsatisfying one at that.

I look back at the glory days of exciting, mutual encounters. I don't like my reflection either, and God forbid I see myself in a picture.

One thing that might be worth holding in mind is that inner beauty really does exist. Some people simply have lovable and exciting personalities, or a person's great nature can draw others.

Try not to give up hope. Being a man I know how complicated and confusing we can seem to the opposite sex.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

Ghosting sucks. It really fucking sucks.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I know how you feel...

 

[lovelypirategirl]

Sorry to hear about your rejection.

Sometimes we're our own worst critics.

I've been single for years now. I had something resembling a relationship, but it was more of a friendship, and an unsatisfying one at that.

I look back at the glory days of exciting, mutual encounters. I don't like my reflection either, and God forbid I see myself in a picture.

One thing that might be worth holding in mind is that inner beauty really does exist. Some people simply have lovable and exciting personalities, or a person's great nature can draw others.

Try not to give up hope. Being a man I know how complicated and confusing we can seem to the opposite sex.

Thank you very much for taking time on reading my post and for your kind words. I've been kept told that what matters is our inner beauty, however unfortunately we live in a world and society that doesn't really care about that. I consider myself an intelligent, passionate and funny woman, and still it isn't enough for a prospect :(

So I think I'll just have to wait and see what happens in the next few years
I

Ghosting sucks. It really fucking sucks.

I know... it literally fucks my mind everytime someone ghosts me... I can't stop overthink or analyzing what the hell I did wrong this time

I know how you feel...

I'm sorry that you also feel like this... is literally living in hell

 

[Muirthemne]

If people are interested in you for one-night stands, it doesn't seem like you're ugly. Seems like lots of people find your physically attractive. That's not to trivialize the pain you're feeling. Ghosting and feeling abandoned is one of the worst pains there is. But it does seem less like a "you're not attractive" problem and more like a "the guys you've been with are assholes" problem. That isn't necessarily your fault.

I know it's really hard to believe that when you feel alone and unlovable, though. I really know. :(

 

[Bct]

Sorry about your rejection & being ghosted, especially if there is not plausible reason why it happened. I don't consider myself as ugly, but that still won't make me able to escape from countless rejections & ghosting. My shitty personality most likely contributes the most. That makes me unworthy to be loved.

 

[elimliadam]

How are you doing now?