Venting Feeling suicidal ever since my girlfriend left me

[SoulofSteel]

It's been two months since my girlfriend left me, I've known her for more than three years and although we only dated for four months I was and still am crazy about her, I loved her more than anything in my life, we were both each others' firsts and I have done my absolute best for her, just being with her made me happy and I made sure to treat her as well as I could, I gave my all. And after everything we had she just left like nothing ever happened and haven't looked back since.
Everyone I've talked to about this just brushes it off telling me to "man up" and stop being weak, that it's not worth anything but what they fail to understand is that I can't just do that at the press of a button, they piss me off.

This person and what we had meant the world to me and the reasons for doing what she did were silly at worst, I was so damn serious about our relationship and we both expressed since day one that we just weren't fooling around, but a few months in lo and behold she just wasn't prepared to make it work and then hit me with "I am not ready for a relationship" and fucked off acting like what I'm going through is none of her business and that she truly did nothing wrong... I've cancelled plans for her, always helped her out and was there for her when no one else did, I did absolutely anything to make her happy yet she just can't see that, all what matters to her is what she feels and what she wants while throwing me out of the equation is all fine.

I don't understand how cruel can a person be to do this, I'm ashamed to say that I spent the last two months pleading to her and trying to reason with her yet she just hits me with coldest and cruelest responses out there while I'm fighting for my life, begging for death to make the pain stop every single day wondering whatever I did wrong to deserve any of this while she simply couldn't care to give a shit, she literally told me to see a therapist and that she's not responsible for what I'm going though, I would fucking understand if I was a toxic abusive asshole but I've been nothing but good to her. And it's crazy how the reason for her to pull the plug was only after we ironed out all of our issues (which weren't even big to begin with), because of her SugarDaddy-dick sucker of a friend who didn't like me and harassed me, and instead of siding with me like any normal person would do she fucking decided to dump me instead.... I cannot believe that she is the same person I fell in love with and knew for three years, this shit truly is the most out of character thing I've seen in a person, like what the fuck?

At this point I'm just constantly wishing to disappear out of this shitty existence, to some the reason why I'm feeling this way may not be much, I myself thought like that before but experiencing it firsthand is just a whole other thing, I have even written my suicide note, I just don't know when I'll actually do it.

 

[foxgirl]

I'm sorry. I know the feeling of losing love all too well. Sounds to me like maybe she didn't deserve you anyway.. I hope you're holding up today OP

 

[get.some.sleep]

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It's been just over 2 months since my girlfriend left me too. I'm so fucking broken and pretty much just a shell of my former self. It's like the Fleetwood Mac song Landslide "I'm afraid of changing because I built my life around you." She's all I think about and I'd do anything to be able to go back and fix things. In a lot of ways, I don't want to CTB but more and more it seems like the only option to make the pain stop. I just want one second to go by without feeling like I'm drowning in a sea of sorrow. Message me if you want to talk more or vent to each other.

 

[figurehead]

Being in love is probably as dangerous as being alive - yet, people fall for to repeatedly. No-one should minimize it, as we never know the pain of the other, pain is a very private thing. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I've had two relationships - one with the man I'm married today (23 years together, I myself was shocked when I realised the other day) Anyway, the first was probably the man of may life, it hurt everyday I was away from him, but it wasn't meant to be (I hate that expression, sorry. I've learned to manage it so as to stay alive, but I don't think I've have or will ever get over it.

I met with my husband after all that. I tried to push him away as many times as I could, showed my scars, told him my horror stories and whatever else I could to distance him. But he stayed. Anyway, what your ex is doing definitely not nice or expected behaviour and to man up is a terrible word to refer to what you're going through. Still, as romantic it may sound, no man or woman is really worth a suicide. Now she is your world, so this may sound completely rubbish, but the best I can say is to give yourself some time to both grieve and cherish this relationship t that ended. It hasn't been (but I bet it must have felt like) a terribly long time. In many ways she's doing that to herself, not you. Give yourself a chance (another sentence I hate sorry again) to detach yourself from what seemed perfect.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Same thing happened to me with someone I have been with for three years. Fried my brain I ended up shutting down for a couple years if there's any possible way to meet somebody else it might help get her out of your system. I promise you will get over this, no matter how painful .

 

[livinginhellnation]

It's been two months since my girlfriend left me, I've known her for more than three years and although we only dated for four months I was and still am crazy about her, I loved her more than anything in my life, we were both each others' firsts and I have done my absolute best for her, just being with her made me happy and I made sure to treat her as well as I could, I gave my all. And after everything we had she just left like nothing ever happened and haven't looked back since.
Everyone I've talked to about this just brushes it off telling me to "man up" and stop being weak, that it's not worth anything but what they fail to understand is that I can't just do that at the press of a button, they piss me off.

This person and what we had meant the world to me and the reasons for doing what she did were silly at worst, I was so damn serious about our relationship and we both expressed since day one that we just weren't fooling around, but a few months in lo and behold she just wasn't prepared to make it work and then hit me with "I am not ready for a relationship" and fucked off acting like what I'm going through is none of her business and that she truly did nothing wrong... I've cancelled plans for her, always helped her out and was there for her when no one else did, I did absolutely anything to make her happy yet she just can't see that, all what matters to her is what she feels and what she wants while throwing me out of the equation is all fine.

I don't understand how cruel can a person be to do this, I'm ashamed to say that I spent the last two months pleading to her and trying to reason with her yet she just hits me with coldest and cruelest responses out there while I'm fighting for my life, begging for death to make the pain stop every single day wondering whatever I did wrong to deserve any of this while she simply couldn't care to give a shit, she literally told me to see a therapist and that she's not responsible for what I'm going though, I would fucking understand if I was a toxic abusive asshole but I've been nothing but good to her. And it's crazy how the reason for her to pull the plug was only after we ironed out all of our issues (which weren't even big to begin with), because of her SugarDaddy-dick sucker of a friend who didn't like me and harassed me, and instead of siding with me like any normal person would do she fucking decided to dump me instead.... I cannot believe that she is the same person I fell in love with and knew for three years, this shit truly is the most out of character thing I've seen in a person, like what the fuck?

At this point I'm just constantly wishing to disappear out of this shitty existence, to some the reason why I'm feeling this way may not be much, I myself thought like that before but experiencing it firsthand is just a whole other thing, I have even written my suicide note, I just don't know when I'll actually do it.

Don't ctb because of someone else…

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Broken relationship (13 years) is why I am killing myself. I don't try to rationalize it anymore. She feels how she feels and I will kill myself because of it. Women are able to move on much easier then men. Why? Who the fuck knows. Just in general when a women is done with you, they do not cling. They just move on.

 

[imrantahir1208]

My divorce is one of the biggest reason to ctb.

 

[SoulofSteel]

Don't ctb because of someone else…

Everybody has their reasons, I wish I didn't feel this way but the truth is that I still do because of this person, I am willing to give it some time, maybe I'll get over it, but if it doesn't cease then no matter the reason I'd rather die than continue living a tasteless painful life.

Being in love is probably as dangerous as being alive - yet, people fall for to repeatedly. No-one should minimize it, as we never know the pain of the other, pain is a very private thing. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I've had two relationships - one with the man I'm married today (23 years together, I myself was shocked when I realised the other day) Anyway, the first was probably the man of may life, it hurt everyday I was away from him, but it wasn't meant to be (I hate that expression, sorry. I've learned to manage it so as to stay alive, but I don't think I've have or will ever get over it.

I met with my husband after all that. I tried to push him away as many times as I could, showed my scars, told him my horror stories and whatever else I could to distance him. But he stayed. Anyway, what your ex is doing definitely not nice or expected behaviour and to man up is a terrible word to refer to what you're going through. Still, as romantic it may sound, no man or woman is really worth a suicide. Now she is your world, so this may sound completely rubbish, but the best I can say is to give yourself some time to both grieve and cherish this relationship t that ended. It hasn't been (but I bet it must have felt like) a terribly long time. In many ways she's doing that to herself, not you. Give yourself a chance (another sentence I hate sorry again) to detach yourself from what seemed perfect.

I am 22, I know for a fact that killing myself over a person isn't worth it logically but if the pain they inflicted upon me is so unbearable and doesn't stop then it really leaves me no other option, I decided to wait it out and see if I ever get over it but if not then I can't really see myself continuing to live like this, I loved this person so much and showed her that I was prepared to do anything for her, and while she wasn't flawless we really got along like bread and butter and she was the most compassionate person I ever had in my life, we both supported each other in every way until she decided she didn't want me anymore, it's like a switch flipped inside her and I couldn't recognize her anymore.

Broken relationship (13 years) is why I am killing myself. I don't try to rationalize it anymore. She feels how she feels and I will kill myself because of it. Women are able to move on much easier then men. Why? Who the fuck knows. Just in general when a women is done with you, they do not cling. They just move on.

I wish we didn't have to feel this way, I don't understand how they could not just sit down for a second and think things through again, it's selfishness at its best. Last time I talked to her she told me that all she wants is to stay on good terms and to never bother her again or that she'll be done with me, like somehow I'm the villain of it all. What's worse is that I still have to see her everyday since we go to the same college and will have to for the next 3 years...

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It's been just over 2 months since my girlfriend left me too. I'm so fucking broken and pretty much just a shell of my former self. It's like the Fleetwood Mac song Landslide "I'm afraid of changing because I built my life around you." She's all I think about and I'd do anything to be able to go back and fix things. In a lot of ways, I don't want to CTB but more and more it seems like the only option to make the pain stop. I just want one second to go by without feeling like I'm drowning in a sea of sorrow. Message me if you want to talk more or vent to each other.

I'd like to talk sometime but it looks like I don't have the ability to PM yet.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really awful and painful being in that situation, it's dreadful how other people invalidate suffering, doing such a thing is so insensitive. But anyway best wishes.

 

[PixelPlant]

i can relate to most of the things you mentioned, i'm in the same situation even tho my relationship ended five years ago, the pain is still the same.

 

[SoulofSteel]

i can relate to most of the things you mentioned, i'm in the same situation even tho my relationship ended five years ago, the pain is still the same.

Five years? Damn that's a lot of time, some of my friends told me that it would only take a couple of weeks yet two months later and I'm still hurting. If I have to carry this for the rest of my life then I'll just have to end it.