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idk why I just dont get it over with. Im telling my family im suicidal, Ive already isolated from my friends so I barely have any to talk to, Im literally messaging my therapist that is on a vacation that im suicidal. I texted one other that worked at the same hospital and he told me he will ask another doctor but he didnt text back anything. I feel like im doing this all for attention.
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Catch-22, Sannti, Octopixie and 6 others
It's sad really that we feel so ashamed/ bad about asking for help when we need it. You shouldn't though. People are always saying 'reach out for help'- you're simply taking them up on the offer. I hope they respond.
From my own experiences, and maybe this helps, I hope it does - when you say you don't know why you don't just get it over with, it's a hard thing for most to just get it over with. I don't mean this as a criticism at all - I have had similar thoughts and have even been angry with myself for not just doing it. This brutal type of talk I have with myself usually ends up with me feeling…more angry with myself.
If anything, at the end of your life, whenever it comes, I hope you go in peace. It's hard to end the life of someone loved, and harder still when you don't realize how much love you did have for yourself but was broken, by someone or a series of events beyond your control.
I'm sorry your therapist is on vacation - I really am. And you've messaged them to no avail.
Beyond frustrating
Last bit: regarding feeling like you're doing this for attention. There's nothing wrong in that - you're experiencing some strong, valid feelings and want some help. I think of it as a person on fire, it's like damn, is nobody going to grab a hose here or what? There's no shame in wanting help, asking for help, yelling for help. You do whatever you have to do to get that attention.
Attention in this sense is warranted.
My narc parents weaponized words and gaslit like it was their job. I can still hear how my mother would mock me, or mock my sister, saying "you're just doing that for attention.", in a disgusted, almost jealous tone. It was like yeah, attention is needed here! You're not going to shame us into seclusion!
dont be ashamed to ask for help.
youre just giving a signal that you really need someone elses hand.
if you stay silent people will just assume that youre doing alright.
Because you just want your suffering to end not necessarily die. I feel like that. Many of us just want an end to our suffering and not death. Death becomes a resort when there's no other hope.
I hope so much someone gets back to you and there's something that may help. I know so many people here have had awful experiences from meds. When I struggled mentally in my 20s I found sertraline transformed me. Six weeks of hell tho in the beginning. The reason I say this is no I'm not a pro lifer but it's so hard to think every option was not tried before someone ended it.
Sorry if this patronises you. You sound young and like you just want someone to listen and give a shit
yet after we've left, it's the same people that will come out surprised spewing stuff like....
"why didn't they ever try and get help??"
"selfish! never tried treatment or gave themselves a chance to better themselves"
funny how it's always the person suffering who is labelled as the problem even after they've passed. ironic considering the people spewing that rhetoric are the ones who never did enough.
i hope you do end up finding help. pathetic that it has gotten to this point.
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