Feeling sad today

[Pengu]

I am feeling really sad today. I had this friend who was really fun to talk to but recently we had a big fight and that fight led to more fights and eventually we just drifted apart ig.... he unfriended blocked me. I just feel really empty. How could one mistake ruin all the good memories we shared together, did I just waste my trying so hard for it to end like this. I am lonely again. Don't have any friends only acquaintances i have been feeling void of any emotion and I am honestly a bit scared. I have a feeling that I won't live for long and my mental state has been deteriorating as I have really toxic parents. My dad swears at me a lot and he makes me feel guilty of everything. One time he pushed me on the bed and hit me I can never forget that day, it happened fairly recently. Anyways yeah I was just feeling very sad so I decided to type it out.
XOXO
Pengu

 

[SeenMoreThanEnough]

Don't worry, you are not alone. Many are suffering in silence, so it's good to speak out. I actually came here to make a post today but saw your post first.

Always remember that you have immense value and that you do matter, regardless of what your father says. We want our parents to love us and express pride in us, and so verbal abuse, including names, swearing, yelling, and put-downs hurt most, especially when coming from those who are close to us and whom we care about. Emotional/verbal abuse is far, far worse than physical abuse and has very negative lifelong implications and outcomes for the victim - studies are confirming this more and more.

Please, take care of yourself, and love yourself.

 

[Pengu]

Don't worry, you are not alone. Many are suffering in silence, so it's good to speak out. I actually came here to make a post today but saw your post first.

Always remember that you have immense value and that you do matter, regardless of what your father says. We want our parents to love us and express pride in us, and so verbal abuse, including names, swearing, yelling, and put-downs hurt most, especially when coming from those who are close to us and whom we care about. Emotional/verbal abuse is far, far worse than physical abuse and has very negative lifelong implications and outcomes for the victim - studies are confirming this more and more.

Please, take care of yourself, and love yourself.

They abuse me emotionally too I developed ocd and mdd because of it and I can't go out without a mask....

 

[Mirrory Me]

What did you and your father fight about? It must be stressful not being able to hang out at a friend's house now that things are crazy at home. I myself have lived in a family where there were a lot of arguments in general.

 

[Pengu]

What did you and your father fight about? It must be stressful not being able to hang out at a friend's house now that things are crazy at home. I myself have lived in a family where there were a lot of arguments in general.

I didn't wanna go to school that day cuz I was feeling down and was having anxiety because I would have to see my classmates. I don't like being around other people. So my dad scolded me a lot hit me swear at me in the end I couldn't bear it and locked the door. I condition got worse and I had to go to a psychiatrist the next day where I got diagnosed with mdd and ocd.
I have a problem with reading and writing like I would repetitively write the same thing until I think it's perfect and same goes with reading. If I read a novel I read the same page over and over again till I have not remembered it and guess what I still don't remember shit! I have been going to ctb sessions and have been taking paroxetine and propranolol so I am a bit stable now but I am very lonely....

 

[Mirrory Me]

Okay, your dad should understand that you are not well now and stop pressuring you, he will only do more damage that way. Maybe someone should talk to him, is there a care worker who could consult him?

 

[Pengu]

He will get angry
:((
It's fine I am used to it anyways :^<

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so awful how humans create so much suffering in this world but sadly it's just the reality, it's certainly a cruel world we exist in where people suffer all through no fault of their own, I understand that it's horrible when existing just continues to get worse but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Mirrory Me]

He will get angry
:((
It's fine I am used to it anyways :^<

It is better to inform someone about this matter, so that he might come to his senses. Don't be afraid of his reaction, he is a grown man after all- responsible for your well-being. Another option is to tell him yourself how much it hurts you when he behaves towards you like that.

 

[Pengu]

It is better to inform someone about this matter, so that he might come to his senses. Don't be afraid of his reaction, he is a grown man after all- responsible for your well-being. Another option is to tell him yourself how much it hurts you when he behaves towards you like that.

i wish i could but there is more that i can't share..

 

[Mirrory Me]

i wish i could but there is more that i can't share..

So you have a strict father, in whose company you don't dare to be yourself. Maybe it's better that he doesn't get to hear everything about you, but you could talk about your feelings. That you are unsure of his behavior, that you already feel enough pressure without someone attacking you in an offensive way. At least I felt like a black sheep, getting only negative feedback from my parents all the time. Remember to be kind and understanding to yourself.

 

[TowerRoad]

So sorry about it. Any close relatives to stay for a little while? I had to watch my father beating up my mom but i was only 7 years old I couldn't do anything about it. I have hated him since that day. He tried to kicked me out when I was 14 too. I can feel your pain.

Sending you hope and love from here.