I'm struggling to act on my CBT(partial hanging) as it's just painful to go through with it. Im constantly just sleeping, smoking and doing nothing all day (but ruminating constantly on ways I can CBT and finding peace thinking about dying) but I feel weak and tired to make a step to do anything. Does anyone feel this way?
Totally dude, but more in the execution (no pun intended) than the planning.
I can't wrap my head around that day I'll be sitting on the edge of my bed, my affairs sorted as best as I can, and the various potions there on the bedside table waiting for me.
That's when the grim reality will set in.
I'll be listening to my favourite music on my headphones. Phone left downstairs to prevent an SI call to emergency services, but still in Bluetooth range to listen to music.
I'll have various notes pinned on the door and a warning notice to the first responders regarding the toxicity of what they'll find next to me.
And oh yeah, more important than anything, before I start the process...that final smoke.