Venting Feeling lonley and lost in an overwhelming world

[cattybag]

Well I'm feeling pretty down today. Typically when I get in a mood like this i find reading methods to be comforting but I thought I might as well vent about my situation. Currently im stuck im a repetitive mind numbing corporate retail job. No coworkers it's literally just me and my manager so I'm finding that I have do a lot more work now. I've been struggling to find a job for months and months. I have no friends or romantic relationships atm. I thought about going to college but I have no idea how to deal with the tuition plus I have no idea what I care about doing. The only motivation being "to make money" really sucks the life out of me so I would enjoy having a bigger purpose. I wanted to go to vet school but I dont think I can handle the stress with my current situation. Not having a direction hurts and it makes me feel so aimless. Past few months I've been working on solitary activities and trying to figure myself out which has been nice but I can shake off this feeling of being completely disconnected.
I have trouble opening up to others and my autism causes me to act differently which can be off-putting. How do you guys deal with loneliness? Any tips for making friends? I find that talking to neurotypicals tends to be exhausting with all the masking and dull conversations. Going out to bars by myself seems like a lot of energy and I know I most likely wont enjoy talking to people unless I'm drunk. I just overthink so much it's difficult to talk to normal people.
Does anyone else have to deal with issues with loneliness and not being connected to a community? I'd appreciate hearing anyone's perspective or general life advice.

 

[westerly_merlin]

I was always awkward in bars and pubs., I never know how to start a conversation and I am terrified to just start talking to someone.

However, have made good friends doing sport and group activities. I started climbing 10 years ago and it has been the best thing for me, there is a great neuro-diversity in climbing and a real sense of community.

I have also started joining group hikes, again groups of like minded people outside and we instanly have something to talk about.

My sister is a bit like me and joined a choir, she now has "singing friends" and it has opened up her horizons.

Hope this helps