Feeling it coming to an end

[DeathToSpiesSMERSH]

It feels like my mind has been ablaze for the past few days, slipping in to complete agitation and restless pacing and sudden calmness. I can see my entire life flash before my eyes over and over again.

I feel like I'm already at the point of no return, I've got my meds, I've got my SN, still waiting for the benzos, but it's basically all there.

I'm truly not happy with my decision and I'm sad it's led to this point, I feel bad about what it will do to others, but I can't seem to pull myself back from the edge, I can't seem to break the obsession or at this point obligation to die. I can't remediate my autism, I can't escape my mind.

I have to slip away for my own benefit

 

[RhapsodyinBerserk]

I can relate. I've got OCD and depression and it makes your mind its own worse enemy. I know people say it all gets better but sometimes it honestly doesn't. Whatever choice you make man I hope you find peace with yourself. It sounds stupid but I know in the moment you'll make the right choice for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound really tiring and awful what you have to endure, it certainly is such a cruel world we exist in where people suffer so much all through no fault of their own, there could never be anything fair about existing here. But anyway I wish you the best.