Discussion Feeling hopeless due to the pandemic?

[Shameforlife96]

Hi All,
Since the COVID pandemic started ravaging the world I've felt more and more hopeless and depressed. I know the world will pull through it but It just seems that so many people are suffering. Not just from COVID itself but from the impacts on finances, jobs, social lives, mental health, etc. The pandemic has really sucked a lot of the joy out of living it feels like especially here in the UK. Although this isn't the reason I want to CTB it definitely feels like the cherry on top. By this point I've heard so many cliches and platitudes such as 'we're all in this together' and this is the 'new normal' that I've become jaded towards that kind of positive thinking in the face of all this.

How do you feel? How have you been affected? I'd like to hear all your thoughts.
Thanks.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I was already hopeless due to unexplained symptoms, anxiety, depression, cognitive impairment, debt, no friends or work. The pandemic was just kind of an added twist to the Stephen King novel that is my life. I haven't caught covid and don't know anyone who has, so to me it's felt like an abstract thing. Something you hear about but have no direct experience with.

But yeah I think people are finally starting to catch on that those in power don't care about us at all. We live under a kind of benign malevolence, where things that are obviously evil won't fly anymore, so there has to be a "reasonable" excuse for everything shitty inflicted upon us.

 

[WornOutLife]

I've been hopeless since years but this covid situation has made me feel much worse. I even got the covid! I was so scared of having transmitted it to my father but luckily, He didn't get it.

Anyway, I think humanity will have to deal with this virus and maybe some more like this for a looong time. I tend to be optimistic but I just can't with this.

Still, let's hope things get better and people stop suffering and dying because of covid.

 

[Sakura94]

It's honestly unbearable. Once this is over I'm making preparations to ctb or at least make it so I can in the future.

 

[Intotheflames]

I am at odds here. As terrible as Covid19 to many others, and I do feel them when I watch the news, personally it actually makes me feel better in a long time. I am no longer the loser who doesn't have a job, who has no social life, who has no money, who doesn't know how to communicate with others etc., I am the new normal. The neurotic of the world finally matches the neurotic in me. On top of I always feel more at ease in a chaotic environment, the fact that I wanna ctb makes me feel at home in a pandemic this scale. I wear masks, follow the rules and keep myself hygienic, but I don't give a damn if someone passes me this virus.

 

[Sakura94]

I am at odds here. As terrible as Covid19 to many others, and I do feel them when I watch the news, personally it actually makes me feel better in a long time. I am no longer the loser who doesn't have a job, who has no social life, who has no money, who doesn't know how to communicate with others etc., I am the new normal. The neurotic of the world finally matches the neurotic in me. On top of I always feel more at ease in a chaotic environment, the fact that I wanna ctb makes me feel at home in a pandemic this scale. I wear masks, follow the rules and keep myself hygienic, but I don't give a damn if someone passes me this virus.

I think for me it's the loss of control over my life. I didn't have much to begin with and it seems that has gone now.
I see your point though I hadn't considered it like that.

 

[Amumu]

Yes covid was a turning point

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Yeah the endless lockdowns in the UK keep kicking back into more severe depressive states.

 

[Endeavour]

I've noticed something I've never seen before in the comments on newspapers - people openly saying I can't take it any more, Life isn't worth living, etc.

One today even admitted to trying to end their life on NYD because of all of this. It's gone from no one talking like that to a few, to today with Boris supposed to be locking us down again to probably 2 or 3 dozen in the comments on that one story.

We're in a bad way and it's only going to get worse.

 

[http-410]

The situation didn't really affect me until curfews were enforced.

Apart from the fact that I doubt the reasonability (imagine a curfew in a small place where (even pre-covid) no one walks around outside at night - except for me), I feel patronized and trapped. Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane if I think too much and can't go for a walk in the early evening. I can't call the crisis line at home either, so I have no choice but to stay in my head and try not to go insane, which is very difficult at the moment. I also hope the restrictions don't affect my CTB plan.

The only "good" thing about the pandemic is mandatory mask-wearing. It makes it more bearable for me to look people in the face and I can also hide behind a mask. If there's ever a time after the pandemic and I live until then, I will wear a mask even after that.

 

[greebo6]

My depression was here long before Covid and the isolation/exclusion/boredom etc.. 'normies' feel and complain about is what my existence was even before Covid came along...So ,it hasn't made much practical difference to me and and my imminent CBT is not because of Covid.......BUT.. but I must admit even I am utterly sick to death of the whole Covid thing now...
(Except for the masks. For ugly person like me they have been great)

 

[sourpink]

honestly. for me covid has been of minimal affect outside of acting as a barrier to ctb in some ways unique to my personal situation.
the sort of awakening of the masses about the way those in power rule and treat people to varying degrees of negativity based on how valuable an individual is seen as ... honestly that just kinda makes me cranky. like, yeah. there's entire communities of people who knew all this already but all the abled people just didn't listen as they were unaffected and now that they are they feel they've got just as much a right to complain as those of us who've been being fucked over much longer than covid restrictions have been a thing. it really is just annoying to see so much blatant privilege on display and then to see it praised is a cherry on top.
I must say though, I'll thank the ableds for normalizing suicide jokes to some extent. at least now I can allow myself to voice slightly darker humor to some people and not be entirely consumed with paranoia that they're now concerned over me any more than they were previously.

 

[Mentalmick]

Sick of the fucking virus. We're going back into full lockdown at midnight.

 

[setomikey]

Hello!
I am feeling hopeless, but not necessarily because of the pandemic..that is making it worse tho, and indirectly making my problems bigger..
But otherwise, the pandemic itself, or the lockdown or quarantine wouldn't really stress me out...
I could literally stay at home and not leave the house once for a month, and I wouldn't be completely fine..I would even open the window just to smoke lol
I know that for most people staying indoors is hard and stressful, but not for me, I usually leave the house because I must, not because I want to

 

[signifying nothing]

I like it, I think my mood has been better with everything locked down like this.

 

[Amber1974!!]

I'm in the US in Ohio, not really locked down here, we do have a curfew til the 23rd of this month where everything has to close at 10 p.m. and of course gotta wear the frigging masks everywhere which I despise.

 

[ARW3N]

Life sucked before the COVID pandemic. The pandemic has just made matters worse.

 

[Lost Magic]

I just look at the pandemic as another excuse for me to cash out of this world, hopefully this year. Sick and tired of people, society and all the bullshit that goes with it already. I have nothing left to lose at this point in my life. I'll be grateful when it is all over.