Feeling hopeless about methods

[Eudaimonic]

I am stuck living with my parents for the foreseeable future since I am nonfunctional due to a combination of depression, anxiety, ADHD, executive dysfunction, and several other issues. Unfortunately, my parents found out that I'm suicidal and reported it to my therapist, so I need to tread carefully in the future to avoid getting sectioned. I don't know what methods I can use. I can't use inert gas because it's not realistic to hide a large gas tank and the equipment from my parents. I can't use partial because I have nowhere to do it. I guess the tourniquet method might work, but I'm not sure where I could realistically do it, and I worry that it could come undone resulting in failure. I can get a gun next summer, but the thought of waiting all that time is agonizing. A black powder weapon might work if I could figure that out, but I'd have to hide it, and I'm not sure I could get ammunition. I can't order drugs since I'd risk my parents finding them first, and I have nowhere I could go to overdose. I can't use the charcoal method because I don't have most of the equipment and have nowhere to store it. I don't have anywhere to jump, and I am scared of heights. Of course, attempting in the meantime risks failure (the method will be less reliable for one) and subsequent hospitalization which would preclude me from acquiring a gun. All in all, it seems like my best option is to wait until next summer so I can obtain a shotgun, but I am tired of suffering every day for nothing. I just want it to end.

Idk, is there anything I'm missing? Because I'd prefer not to wait over a year to end it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand that it's so dreadful feeling trapped in this existence when you just wish to be gone, I despise how there isn't the option to just easily cease existing in peace. But anyway I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

I think you seem to have a good understanding of different methods.

From what I understand, statistics seem to indicate that suicide with guns is the most fatal (at least out of common methods used by the general public). Of course forums like this have led to new methods like SN, which previously was basically unheard of and may not be reflected by fatality statistics due to how niche it is.

I live in Canada, and a big part of me is considering suicide with a firearm as well. Our firearms laws are strict by American standards, but compared to a lot of the world we are pretty lax. Non-assault "hunting" and "game" weapons aren't too hard to get. From what I've read really the only way people fail is when they insert the gun into their mouth, aim too "high" and end up mostly just blowing off the front of their face and fucking up their airway but maintaining enough function in the spinal cord, medulla, pons, and cerebellum to survive. There's even been cases where they maintain function in the cerebrum and are able to function normally. My understanding is that aiming at the temple is usually more effective, and bonus points if you can set up some sort of mechanism to hold the gun in place so the recoil doesn't influence the placement of the shot. If you do choose to put the gun in your mouth, I would say to aim more for the back of your throat than your brain. It's almost more important to destroy your spinal cord than it is do destroy your brain, because if the spinal cord is fucked then there's no way for your body to control your breathing and circulation. Even if you don't die instantly, you would still almost certainly go unconscious and the brain likes to bleed so death from blood loss would be your built-in safety net. If you choose to do this, do it in a secluded place where the shot will not be heard so that you will not be found for some time. I would recommend doing it outside of the home so that your family doesn't find you, because seeing a body after this method is undoubtedly extremely traumatic.

If you want a reliable method that is fairly instant, I would maybe recommend waiting for a firearm.

 

[unabletocope]

You and me both. I've considered hanging drowning overdosing and SN (can't consider firearms as they are not accessible) and I think for me some form of overdosing is the way to go, think its just a case of finding the right tablets, at the moment I'm having difficulty with that

 

[Eudaimonic]

My understanding is that aiming at the temple is usually more effective, and bonus points if you can set up some sort of mechanism to hold the gun in place so the recoil doesn't influence the placement of the shot.

To my knowledge, aiming at the temple is inadvisable since it is not a one-shot target and risks bullet deflection off of bone. Aiming at the inside of the mouth will avoid the risk of deflection while allowing for a direct hit to a one-shot area. Aiming at the spinal cord via the back of the head should also work but is awkward with a long gun.

If you do choose to put the gun in your mouth, I would say to aim more for the back of your throat than your brain. It's almost more important to destroy your spinal cord than it is do destroy your brain, because if the spinal cord is fucked then there's no way for your body to control your breathing and circulation. Even if you don't die instantly, you would still almost certainly go unconscious and the brain likes to bleed so death from blood loss would be your built-in safety net.

That makes sense. My understanding is that the medulla oblongata and certain regions of the spinal cord are one-shot targets. I believe it's better to aim at the lower portion of the medulla oblongata as if you aim too low, there are the cervical vertebrae to fall back on.

If you choose to do this, do it in a secluded place where the shot will not be heard so that you will not be found for some time. I would recommend doing it outside of the home so that your family doesn't find you, because seeing a body after this method is undoubtedly extremely traumatic.

If I do this, I plan to take blood thinners to reduce the chance of being revived if someone found my body prematurely. I would do so in a secluded woodland area in or above water, so that if I somehow failed, I would drown or die from the fall. My concern with the method is how gruesome it is. I'm afraid that my family would be traumatized by the body.

If you want a reliable method that is fairly instant, I would maybe recommend waiting for a firearm.

On the one hand, I agree, but on the other, I am so tired of suffering, and I really don't want to drag this out for another year. Tbh, I think I might choose a painful or scary method at this point just to get it over with, like full suspension hanging, which is more reliable than partial, or like jumping which can be made very reliable if I could find somewhere and convince myself to go through with it. I'm getting desperate. Regardless, as I said, I have executive dysfunction, so planning and executing this is bound to be extremely difficult and mentally taxing.

 

[kudaphillips]

Firearms megathread is great for placement technique , questions on what gun / round combo is best. Def consult this for placement etc. if you are 100% confident you will be able to use the shotgun and not have any SI deterrence I'd just suffer it up and wait rather than fail In Another way.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Firearms megathread is great for placement technique , questions on what gun / round combo is best. Def consult this for placement etc. if you are 100% confident you will be able to use the shotgun and not have any SI deterrence I'd just suffer it up and wait rather than fail In Another way.

For placement, I'd aim at the lower half of the medulla oblongata (to maximize the chance of a one-shot hit if I flinch even after extensive practice), practicing with a mirror and anatomical diagrams when possible. I'd use a 12-gauge shotgun with 00 buckshot. I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to use it and go through with it. I don't believe in SI per se, but several factors can contribute to what is nominally called survival instinct (anxiety, fear, physical/mental discomfort, suicidal apathy/ambivalence, etc.). I genuinely have no clue. The only reason I'm hesitant is how gory the method is. I'd have to ensure that my family did not see the body. But the simplicity of setup, extremely high reliability, low chance of intervention, instantaneity, and painlessness are enticing. Combined with a calculated fall into the water for redundancy, the method is 99.99% likely to kill me. One issue is that I will need to ensure I have somewhere to store the gun, ideally somewhere other than my home. Idk what the policy of the gun stores in my area is for long-term-ish storage.

 

[kudaphillips]

Uggg ya sounds like me . I always say to myself " I'll be comfortable with this instead ", venture into a new method , and always paralyzed by SI. But I've come mentally closest with the shotgun . I don't think storage is to much an issue, you can put your mind to it and make sure no one finds it,.. and same with th execution, walk far away late at night so family doesn't get shocked .

 

[Eudaimonic]

Uggg ya sounds like me . I always say to myself " I'll be comfortable with this instead ", venture into a new method , and always paralyzed by SI. But I've come mentally closest with the shotgun . I don't think storage is to much an issue, you can put your mind to it and make sure no one finds it,.. and same with th execution, walk far away late at night so family doesn't get shocked .

Hopefully, you're right about the storage issue. It remains to be seen whether it will present a problem, I guess. I suppose I could get a safe and store it in there, but what exactly would I tell them if they discovered it and wondered what was inside? I'm not good at lying.

Truthfully, I'd prefer something more peaceful. I am also considering CO or inert gas (not that I can do either at the moment), but there's more room for user error or equipment failure for both (not that I don't think both are reliable). The other methods I'm considering are full suspension (which I honestly don't think I would be able to pull off), the tourniquet method, and drowning + an asphyxiant gas (e.g. N2O). IMO, the best out of those aside from a shotgun is likely to be CO or IG.

I live with others for now so I can't store the things for CO without arousing suspicion, and the only way I've thought of to safely attempt full suspension or drowning while I'm living with them is getting a job with a night shift lol.

A tourniquet could maybe work, but I'd have to book a hotel and come up with a convincing excuse, or perhaps get a job and book it for the time I'd be working. I might order one to practice with to see if that's feasible. My concern is that it may come loose after unconsciousness.

Another risk of waiting is that gun laws could change between then and now making it very difficult to acquire a firearm.