feel violent and hateful and vengeful

[ever so lonely]

dont know if this will resonate with anybody on here or no, but i just feel so violent which is out of character as a general rule so volatile and hostile to randoms, everybody basically, i fear where that will lead, it is causing me problems in my daily life tho and people shun me because of my no fux given attitude towards them, i have turned to crisis lines about this issue, but they no good, just the same platitudes of oh try and relax have a pot of tea, are they for reals ?, anybody reached this point of simply being just fucked off with everybody and everything regardless of where they go or travel to or just me ?, or am i just a weirdo on a suicide board like the rest of us ?.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I think we're cultivating a stifling atmosphere in general - divisive media combined with things like overpopulation and inflation, and coming off the back of a pandemic. You'll get a lot of pissed off people that way. It's almost like we're cooking up a shit soup. People are weary but also aggressive. I think everyone's sick of the grind and daily blah, and burned out on hearing about the same stuff everyday (does anyone really give a shit about Donald Trump, Elon Musk or Megan Markle?).

Life feels tiring but also difficult. Fuses are shorter and nihilism seems to be the order of the day. People aren't getting out much or socializing properly, and intolerance is rampant.

Everyone needs to be wary of others out there. Especially of OP, he is a madlad who likes his booze and knows Muay Thai.

 

[ever so lonely]

i aint saying i all that, but i know i can handle myself, i do have a temper fella, it has led to me losing that shit job or that shitty toxic relationship, it has blown up before now, not that i proud of it but it is what it is, and people frown on it, your probably correct and on point, this current climate is producing rage in so many, tbh i just cant be fucked, it is difficult to curb it when it fucking lingers for days on end with no respite in sight, probably explains loneliness, know the feels dude ?, people, they full of shit, they try and get a rise out of you at every given opportunity, then your the bad guy if you respond in kind, then when you threaten to fuck them up they have to resort to calling authorities or in work places get mangement involved, it makes me think of these mass shooters often there mocked and ridiculed when they reach out, the escalation of voilence and killing is a knock on effect, again not justifying it, just saying i understand how somebody could get to that point, and it will no doubt continue on in this shit show, we call society, because we fail so many, we will have more of them no doubts in the future, if somebody expresses a tendency to do harm or to commit violent atrocities, often people laugh, if a person with such intent expresses a wish to get back at society for percieved slights or very real who knows, or some some underhanded social exclusion, then more will happen in future , people never believe till it is too late, now not saying that is you, or me, for that matter, but it happens all the fucking time even from within mental health sections, they poo poo you or invalidate you, oh he aint serious, he talking shit, till you prove you was/is, serious, it bad that we have to prove it tho ?, which just leads you to hating them more, i dont have access to a firearm in the uk but if i did............ sounds extreme but just how i feel mate, your on point as per usual, i dunno, i just know it effecting every area of my life and thats that, maybe i just a cunt lol, people just give me a wide berth and dont want fuck all to do with me, maybe this place isnt the best place to express rage and anger but then where is ?, will people listen to us ?, doubt it, it always takes somebody acting on said rage and harming others before people sit up and take notice, thats what i noticed about our fabulous society, but often the warning signs were there, i dunno mate maybe just talking shit at this point, i aint out to prove owt, least of all on a suicide forum which is mainly anonymous, just talking bollocks i is, oh well fuck it dont we all, back to the booze, btw that shit dont help, just seems to bring it out of you more if anything, ahhhhhhh fuck dude rage is the worst it consumes the fuck out of you, and leaves you drained, i dont know what else to say, i guess it just is, i cant be alone in it tho, as you described rage is on the rise, i just dont care about who i harm along the way, it isnt like people anybody gave a fuck about me or you or any of us on here is it ?, why should i care, why should you care why should any of us ?.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Yeah I hear ya, I was just fooling a bit. Booze has that effect on me too. It takes more than it gives. That short window of euphoria isn't really worth it, and my system doesn't handle it nearly as well as 20 years ago.

 

[ever so lonely]

thank you angst for understanding i mean sometimes that is what you need just to feel understood l, you get it mate, the rage, but you cant put your finger on why, you seem to get it my friend, if you say this out there and confide in people, or open up as they advise you to do, people are like whooooaaaa, you a crazy bastard, your weird, your bang on the money mate booze, don't they call it devils juice lol, i cant imagine why hehe, i hope your doing ok mate really, i just needed to rant and air the dirty laundry, talkikg of rage tho bro have you noticed where you live people around you seem more short with you more angrier ? or is just a uk thing ?, it is as if i am not the only person like everybody around me has definately got more angry, as you said in your post maybe it is my design by our overlords and politicians who knows lol, i guess the muay thai was a way of burning off negative energy, whilst getting punched and kicked in the face whilst getting fit lol, i am learning the leg kicks but technique is difficult, i am just a noob lol, but honest mate even there people appear more angry in general, i dunno what going on out there, i never felt like this in my life and i never seen people this angry either, what do you think is going on maybe effects of lockdowns and covid ? what is your hunch mate
you should video game mate as well that is what i may do to pass the time rather than drink lol it healthier are you into video games ?, i been addicted to that friday 13th game by gun media, but holy shit the online community is toxic af, you will be winnnig a game and the host will just rage quit haha talking of rage lol, i am at level 30 ish now i think, it is so so addictive bro but full of little kids screaming obscenities to somebody they dont know lol,

 

[Unending]

Wow, they tell you to make a pot of tea. I really wish preventionists wouldn't give trivial nonsense solutions to real problems. It would be more helpful in my opinion if they just admitted they didn't have any good advice but were willing to listen. Obviously that doesn't solve anything either but at least can help to reduce the pressure temporarily.

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

People used to believe that I had a chip on my shoulder. When it in reality was major anxiety I didn't feel good enough to make conversation with till workers for example so they dismissed me as rude and egotistical because I why am I a normal male human like anybody else and and always felt emotionally and physically deformed.
That lead to show feelings of anger towards the entirety of humanity because of the fact that that's how it is I thought you just end up going in f****** circles of who caused it, what caused it.

Try to be friendly to people and you may be surprised at what you find. Most people are just trying to get through another f****** day I mean there's plenty of bullies and scum around and I done well mean plenty the streets are swimming with horrible people but they are also swimming with many a nice of people who would help a stranger in need just because it's their nature.

We are all done human beings who are allowing the elite at the top to recover with our well-being well Street bend over and spread all cheats for them causing each other and maximum amounts of suffering basically li-fi went through what you're describing but then took a look at myself and realised I was just as bad as everybody else. Wilfully ignorant. The only people that aren't guilty are the people who have already run and milk and a institutionalised threw mentally snapping at the shear pressure of of the emotional burden of living among this six species.