n0505
Member
- Oct 6, 2019
- 53
I am 18 years old this year. When I was 10 , my mother died unexpectedly. My father started drinking and indulging in gambling. My father used to use verbal violence against me just to vent his negative emotions. My brother always turned a blind eye and even yelled at me with his father. They say a lot of insults to me every day, and I can only feel pain but can't resist.
When I was 13, I seem to suffer from depression. Although there is no diagnosis, I know that I have serious psychological problems. I have always faced tremendous psychological stress and unstable emotions. Living in the fear of my father every day, but also facing academic problems at the same time. I finally couldn't stand this pain last year and I dropped out of school.
In January of this year, I raised six pet rats. They have become my motivation. I walked with my most painful days and made me feel better. I started to get better and better. I managed to find a job. I met new friends. Live a more fulfilling day than ever before. I thought everything would go well, but then my family's language violence against me was more serious than before. And use my pet as a tool to threaten me. They always tell me they will kill my pets.I really think they will hurt my pet so I resigned in April this year. I stayed at home for a long time and didn't look for a job again. Because I am afraid if i leave home . My pet will be hurt by my father.As a result, the psychological problem seems to have become more serious. I cried almost every day. My spirit is getting worse and my reaction is getting dull.i just eat and sleep everyday. My family ruined me.My family is trying to sabotage my career and my life.I know they want me to die.
From April of this year until now, my source of income is only the pocket money my father gave me. In August of this year, my father lost a lot of money at the casino. He told me that he would never give me money anymore. My mental condition is really impossible to find a job. Since my father didn't allow it (because he wanted me to commit suicide), I couldn't go to the hospital for treatment. I have not received money for two months. I have no money to let me live. so I plan to ctb. I want to buy sn.
Unfortunately, no one want to adopt my rats. So I can only euthanize them. Can anyone tell me some euthanasia methods?I want to emphasize that I really love them. I never thought that I would actually kill them by myself. how can i do that... I feel very sorry to my pets.... I really don't want to do that, but I have no way...
(Sorry for bad English)
When I was 13, I seem to suffer from depression. Although there is no diagnosis, I know that I have serious psychological problems. I have always faced tremendous psychological stress and unstable emotions. Living in the fear of my father every day, but also facing academic problems at the same time. I finally couldn't stand this pain last year and I dropped out of school.
In January of this year, I raised six pet rats. They have become my motivation. I walked with my most painful days and made me feel better. I started to get better and better. I managed to find a job. I met new friends. Live a more fulfilling day than ever before. I thought everything would go well, but then my family's language violence against me was more serious than before. And use my pet as a tool to threaten me. They always tell me they will kill my pets.I really think they will hurt my pet so I resigned in April this year. I stayed at home for a long time and didn't look for a job again. Because I am afraid if i leave home . My pet will be hurt by my father.As a result, the psychological problem seems to have become more serious. I cried almost every day. My spirit is getting worse and my reaction is getting dull.i just eat and sleep everyday. My family ruined me.My family is trying to sabotage my career and my life.I know they want me to die.
From April of this year until now, my source of income is only the pocket money my father gave me. In August of this year, my father lost a lot of money at the casino. He told me that he would never give me money anymore. My mental condition is really impossible to find a job. Since my father didn't allow it (because he wanted me to commit suicide), I couldn't go to the hospital for treatment. I have not received money for two months. I have no money to let me live. so I plan to ctb. I want to buy sn.
Unfortunately, no one want to adopt my rats. So I can only euthanize them. Can anyone tell me some euthanasia methods?I want to emphasize that I really love them. I never thought that I would actually kill them by myself. how can i do that... I feel very sorry to my pets.... I really don't want to do that, but I have no way...
(Sorry for bad English)
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