I skimmed though the video. It was sad to watch. Come to think of it, I never had much of an SI. I had thoughts of suicide since I was 6. Even at that age, I didn't want to deal with my strict parents and their demands for perfect grades, my vicious teachers and their inflated high standards, and my peers who hated me. When a bully would say "I'm gonna kill you" or some variation thereof, my first thought was always: "OK, if you're gonna kill me, shoot me or stab me in the heart, so I die instantly and don't suffer." I had an interest in human anatomy as a kid, and I applied it to finding CTB methods---so I knew that a heart injury led to instant death. Yet somehow, I also knew another thing: in the unlikely case the bully was serious, he'd slowly torture me before he killed me, like burning me with a hot iron, so I always refused his "offer".
To this day, it's not the death I'm afraid of---I still don't have an SI---it's the physical pain while I'm dying.