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chronicdissosiation
sell your sands of time and invest in the knife
- Feb 17, 2024
- 58
im afraid of not following through with my suicide. i understand i have so much ahead of me and that im salvageable but i dont think i care enough for anything…which is partially why i want to ctb. ive heard all the scare tactics about partial suspension. id get turned into a vegetable or get severe brain damage and it does cause fear in me. if i hate my life now, how could i even handle that? i got so close to losing consciousness yesterday whilst trying to practice my method. i wasnt afraid and i could barely muster up any strength to pull myself out of it. each time before this i would back down and i would berate myself for it. the feeling while i was slowly losing consciousness wasnt unpleasant…but i cant shake this feeling of fear out of me. i dont want to back down…its so confusing for me.