Venting fear?

[roseleaf]

i fear a lot of things that can come with death - before and after i guess?

like, what if someone finds out just before i do it? what if something goes wrong? what if i back out again but it's too late?
but more importantly, what happens to the person that finds me? what if it's someone i know and i care about (no matter how much or how little they care about me) will they have to deal with that image for the rest of their life?

and if there is an afterlife, what if i go to the wrong place? what if i feel worse than i am now? what if i meet people who are disappointed in me? and if there's no afterlife, do i just become nothing? because even thought i don't want to be here, i want to be SOMEONE somewhere else. i want to be happy somewhere that isn't the final moments of my life...i wanna be happy after that too. what if there's no afterlife, but reincarnation? does that mean i have to go through everything again or worse?

i don't know, i just feel fear towards whatever will happen to me

 

[meowingnomore]

it's normal to feel a lot of fear, humans are programmed to see death as the worst thing imaginable. if your fear is founded in losing what you have in your life, it could mean there's a path to happiness you know is there. but if you're fully sure this is what you need, there are ways to minimise the fear.

i'd suggest maybe try going to a safe place where you can be alone like a hotel or airbnb. you could even leave a warning note on your door to let people know they should call the authorities to deal with the mess (provided they definitely wont see it halfway through and interrupt you). if you're considering sn you should know it's reversible if you get help soon enough, and going to a hotel in a city that's near a hospital should ensure you have medical attention quickly if you call for it.

no one knows if there's a life after this in any way. i don't think signs point towards it but if there is, i think you'll be okay. if you have a good heart and you want to be a good person it means you already are one, any fair deity would see that in you. if you find that you don't wake up again, then you won't ever have to feel sad about there being nothing, because you wont even know. you either find a new path for yourself or you find peace. and if that new path is another life, you should know how to make it through this next one stronger and more prepared. that's the reasoning i use for myself and it brings me a lot of comfort.

all this can be a lot and it could be worth giving it a lot more thought if the doubts are feeling stronger than the will. i just hope whatever happens you find peace.

 

[LaughingGoat]

As previous poster said you can ensure you ctb somewhere remote and set up the authorities will be notified rather than someone you know.

Regarding an afterlife or reincarnation, you can know for a fact they do not exist the same way any other myth you don't believe in because you've never seen proof for them. We know when someone dies, their brain fails and so too their consciousness while their body decays. People will tell you "no one can know for sure" but no one actually thinks and lives that way. If they did, people would not just believe in one afterlife but every single form of them. Every religion/cult/culture has a different answer for what that is, but they all provide equal proof - nothing. The same way people nowadays call the Egyptians/Greek/Roman/Nord beliefs of their gods and afterlives "myths", the modern versions of that are no different. Rather than asking what if there is an afterlife, ask what reason is there to believe it exists?