Help Fear of the unknowable consequences. PM me.

[RayoSinSol]

My mind says "leave this world. Being on Earth is some kind of an error, that I have to correct in the most complete way possible." To my mind, death is the best possible solution to my situation.

My heart says..."there are limitless possibilities to everything in both life and death, and I am just a small thing, that has no way of knowing what this universe, that conceived me, wants of my existence."


I don't like the word "faith." It's an umbrella term to describe so many potential kinds of attachment to the experienced world.

But, if I had to describe what I "have faith in," I would say I have faith that this universe is always going to be beyond my own understanding.

I'm afterlife agnostic. Ok? There, I said it.

So, how do you accept the unknowable?

PM, anyone who feels that they have conquered that fear, or are really on the path to doing so.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Just curious why you're requesting PM instead of a public conversation that may benefit others on the forum, too.

 

[deadpixels]

Be wary when asking strangers for PMs, did you see this thread?

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/dangerous-people-on-the-forum.39157/

We never know who's on the other side..

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

Be wary when asking strangers for PMs, did you see this thread?

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/dangerous-people-on-the-forum.39157/

We never know who's on the other side..

That experience is scary

 

[RayoSinSol]

Just curious why you're requesting PM instead of a public conversation that may benefit others on the forum, too.

I'm open to responses in public too, but my own anxiety about dying is particularly strong and I want to find someone who is patient and willing to really help me through it, if they can. Someone might have already figured this out, and the way they'd have to translate it to me, in particular, will likely be different than the way it might have to be translated to someone else.

For this particular topic, private conversation might add an extra dimension of help for me. I encourage others to seek private conversations that might benefit them in this subject, as well - if a private conversation is something that would help them.

 

[xalltoowell]

I wish I had answers for you. I just wanted to say you're not alone because I feel this exact way.

 

[Talokin]

Fear about CTB is my biggest blockade and I desperately need help to get past it. I have wanted to CTB since 1989. And I've been "getting help" ever since.
One fear is that I'll get caught and end up in a psych ward. I'm trying to "plan" for that possibility so it becomes less of a hinderance and so I have some perception of control. (packing a bag, writing a note for the staff, etc).
My desire to CTB has been constantly present for years and years, yet it's still so hard to carry it out.
The only "people" who depend on me are my 2 cats, so that's not holding me back that much. (One is elderly and the other will adapt fine to a new home).

 

[Meditation guide]

Fear about CTB is my biggest blockade and I desperately need help to get past it.

I saw you on the thread about a Co generator so that was in November. Did you ever get one built? Not to be nosy but just wondered if you put your plan for that on hold. I ask because I want to build one myself and wondering how it went, if anyone has done that.