Help Fear of not being here when my family needs me

[InevitablePattern91]

I don't want to live anymore. Life sucks, each day is a torture.

I already have my SN, and a plan to drink it. But today I realized out that if I ctb, there will be no one here to take care of my parents when they get old.

My brother has mental illness and my parents are in their 60s, so I think I should take the responsibility to take care of them in the future.

They will need me, and I won't be here for them. But at the same time I can't keep this life anymore.

What would you do in this situation?

 

[Ghost2211]

I keep going for this reason. There are people that would fall without me to carry them, and sometimes we stay alive out of responsibility. We must each come to our own decision if we are able to carry that weight.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i would try to exhaust all other options before i resorted to ctb. i would try to see if there's anything i could change/do to make my life less painful/make the pain more bearable.

but i'm not you. i can only base this on what you've said so far. i can't truly assess your situation because i haven't lived through everything you have.

 

[Sinai Silence]

My only reason for trying to stay around was because of my grandparents. I really don't have the strength to carry on but I really don't want to hurt them. Currently my grandparents are quite independent and my grandfather is going to be 90 this year, I know it wont be that way forever but my mum will be around to look after them.

It is your life though, you have no obligation to look after them. They brought you into this life that you had no choice over, it is your choice entirely when and if you want to exit this life on your own volition.

Are you able to support them financially before you ctb, are they set up with a good pension scheme? If yes then it may make leaving them feel a bit easier.

The question is would you put your own needs and desires ahead of your parents? I'd say you have to think of yourself first and foremost, if you decide that you want to stick around to support your parents you are committing to the most selfless act you can. Whatever decision you make I'm sending love and support

 

[Steamm]

I would kill myself either way

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I understand what you are going through. My Mom has already asked me to be her caretaker. I just keep hoping I die naturally so I don't hurt anyone.

 

[fat feet]

My only reason for trying to stay around was because of my grandparents. I really don't have the strength to carry on but I really don't want to hurt them. Currently my grandparents are quite independent and my grandfather is going to be 90 this year, I know it wont be that way forever but my mum will be around to look after them.

It is your life though, you have no obligation to look after them. They brought you into this life that you had no choice over, it is your choice entirely when and if you want to exit this life on your own volition.

Are you able to support them financially before you ctb, are they set up with a good pension scheme? If yes then it may make leaving them feel a bit easier.

The question is would you put your own needs and desires ahead of your parents? I'd say you have to think of yourself first and foremost, if you decide that you want to stick around to support your parents you are committing to the most selfless act you can. Whatever decision you make I'm sending love and support

This is my way of rationalizing me leaving my people. They will have money for security.