Fear of death and life.

[Rational man]

As i see out the last of what little time i have left from this awful disease, ive been reflecting on my strange conflict of life and death.

I'm somewhat accepting of peace from suffering but at the same time, heading towards the unknown and yet i know we a all die eventually. And yet I had many fears in life.

I questioned if it was a CONTROL feeling, like the disease will kill me unless i take other options.

Its a strange feeling and just wondered if anyone else has any thoughts.

 

[hopelessdreams]

im really sorry for what you're going through. eventho im not in the same circumstances as you (I don't have a terminal disease) I kinda understand the feeling. suffering is part of human life. without sadness, we wouldn't know what happiness is. without illness, we wouldn't appreciate health. so we can either accept the problems we face and cope with other things, or take control in our own hands and end it already.

'It's not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late" - E. M. Cioran.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Absolutely I can sympathise. Life and death is so full of mystery isn't it? I think philosophies and religions try to answer some of the big questions but don't really do a great job because nothing is certain and they sometimes end up doing more harm than good.

I'm so sorry you are suffering health-wise. The worst thing I have experienced was gallstones a few years back and it was unbearable. The first attack, I thought I was having a heart attack. I didn't phone for an ambulance because I've been 'ready' to die for years- but of course- that didn't happen. It's the worst feeling to feel at the mercy of your body in agony.

I had a number of attacks before a stone moved into the bile duct and we had to resolve the problem. I'm terrified of having that kind of pain again though. I think you're right- it's that feeling of helplessness when your biology starts failing.

Honestly, I'm happy and ready to die but not to endure more pain. I don't think I could stand constant pain- so if death wasn't a quick option (which it ought to be) I guess I would have to seek treatment again- if something like it happens again.

I think it's absolutely natural to feel apprehension where you are though. I'm sure most people would/do. I really hope you are able to find peace though.

 

[Rational man]

im really sorry for what you're going through. eventho im not in the same circumstances as you (I don't have a terminal disease) I kinda understand the feeling. suffering is part of human life. without sadness, we wouldn't know what happiness is. without illness, we wouldn't appreciate health. so we can either accept the problems we face and cope with other things, or take control in our own hands and end it already.

'It's not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late" - E. M. Cioran.

Thankfulness.

Absolutely I can sympathise. Life and death is so full of mystery isn't it? I think philosophies and religions try to answer some of the big questions but don't really do a great job because nothing is certain and they sometimes end up doing more harm than good.

I'm so sorry you are suffering health-wise. The worst thing I have experienced was gallstones a few years back and it was unbearable. The first attack, I thought I was having a heart attack. I didn't phone for an ambulance because I've been 'ready' to die for years- but of course- that didn't happen. It's the worst feeling to feel at the mercy of your body in agony.

I had a number of attacks before a stone moved into the bile duct and we had to resolve the problem. I'm terrified of having that kind of pain again though. I think you're right- it's that feeling of helplessness when your biology starts failing.

Honestly, I'm happy and ready to die but not to endure more pain. I don't think I could stand constant pain- so if death wasn't a quick option (which it ought to be) I guess I would have to seek treatment again- if something like it happens again.

I think it's absolutely natural to feel apprehension where you are though. I'm sure most people would/do. I really hope you are able to find peace though.

Thank you

 

[indica]

im neither afraid of life nor death. im only afraid of pain

 

[YourNeighbor]

I get it. I suspect most users here who minimize the fear of death (or make absurd statements like "I don't fear death, but this SI on the other hand...") are simply not yet having to face their imminent mortality.

 

[Rational man]

I get it. I suspect most users here who minimize the fear of death (or make absurd statements like "I don't fear death, but this SI on the other hand...") are simply not yet having to face their imminent mortality.

i can only say from my situation that survival is not possible. I think SI is mini for me and I welcome the release from sickness. Some people ACCEPT death readily. My Mother did though she suffered awfully to the end. Ive seen people dying and its like the person who i knew departed long before their body died. Human SI is strong but then we all so die!?

im neither afraid of life nor death. im only afraid of pain

.Yes pain❤

im neither afraid of life nor death. im only afraid of pa

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like many people fear death as this existence is all they know and they cannot comprehend what it is like to not exist. Therefore, it can be hard to let go of this life. I am at peace with the thought of dying, death is all I look forward to as I believe we simply cease to exist, it is just like how before we were born, time passed and yet we were not aware of anything. I do fear life, to me life is terrifying, but I guess that after all, life is so temporary and meaningless in comparison to the eternity of death.

 

[Efilismislife]

im neither afraid of life nor death. im only afraid of pain

Thats the same i think. Because pain is inside your body(brain nervous system etc)

Living and dying both involve pain

Unless theres painless death which is so hard to achieve and unknown/uncertain

people who have finished the death/dying process cant go back&give testimonials for us to know



if dying/death is painless theres no need for people to struggle for a ctb painless method. People just freely ctb. As easy as quitting a game when they fed up with it

what a wishful thinking :(

 

[lostmyacc]

We can't ever be in control.. All people will have to face this reality of death at one point.

Maybe your personality is the type that is wanting to cling onto life despite how bad things get.

I use to be like this, I honestly think this is a preferable position to having 0 hope whatsoever.

I think you should not listen to anyone else's thoughts. This is a a deeply spiritual question and the answer can only be found within.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I.guess im uncertain about what happens after death and that is why I am hesitant to ctb (along with SI and guilt). There should come a point where the pain in existing overshadows all of that for me.

 

[indica]

Thats the same i think. Because pain is inside your body(brain nervous system etc)

Living and dying both involve pain

Unless theres painless death which is so hard to achieve and unknown/uncertain

people who have finished the death/dying process cant go back&give testimonials for us to know



if dying/death is painless theres no need for people to struggle for a ctb painless method. People just freely ctb. As easy as quitting a game when they fed up with it

what a wishful thinking :(

death is not the same as dying to me. i don't believe living, dying, or death needs to involve pain. i should clarify that i'm not afraid of all pain either. i'm used to a lot of pains. i can tolerate them. i find some pains enjoyable too. it's the excruciating and never-ending pains that frighten me.

 

[dropintheocean]

As i see out the last of what little time i have left from this awful disease, ive been reflecting on my strange conflict of life and death.

I'm somewhat accepting of peace from suffering but at the same time, heading towards the unknown and yet i know we a all die eventually. And yet I had many fears in life.

I questioned if it was a CONTROL feeling, like the disease will kill me unless i take other options.

Its a strange feeling and just wondered if anyone else has any thoughts.

Hello my friend! Im so sorry to hear about your increased suffering. Really sorry. I saw your other thread, are you acutely suffering terribly in a way you think you dont have much time left? I believe in afterlife. Do you? Or are you open to it? Im wishing you relief, peace and comfort dear.

Much hugs!

 

[Rational man]

Hello my friend! Im so sorry to hear about your increased suffering. Really sorry. I saw your other thread, are you acutely suffering terribly in a way you think you dont have much time left? I believe in afterlife. Do you? Or are you open to it? Im wishing you relief, peace and comfort dear.

Much hugs!

im open minded. We all die so whatever happens will happen. Therefore, fear makes no sense . PEACE❤

 

[Efilismislife]

death is not the same as dying to me. i don't believe living, dying, or death needs to involve pain. i should clarify that i'm not afraid of all pain either. i'm used to a lot of pains. i can tolerate them. i find some pains enjoyable too. it's the excruciating and never-ending pains that frighten me.

But no one knows about death too? Since no one can even research about it thats why its a mystery, unknown.
People have difference pain tolerance but therrs still a limit.

im open minded. We all die so whatever happens will happen. Therefore, fear makes no sense . PEACE❤

I used to think fear is only a nuisance and i still dislike it.
But i learn that actually a reason&explanation for it. Its function like an alarm to alert us when theres a danger/threat that could harm us.

But if only we can control it and turn it off and on whenever we want like those alarm system.

Because theres a time when its not needed
But the problem is we cant just shut it off completely, its an automatic system.
(Same/similar to other emotions)

Finding a way to hack it maybe, but seems hard

 

[indica]

But no one knows about death too? Since no one can even research about it thats why its a mystery, unknown.

that's debatable.

People have difference pain tolerance but therrs still a limit.

the limit you're talking about is what i fear.

 

[Efilismislife]

that's debatable.

U mean some people believes in after life(as in reincarnation or never ending cycle or energy, etc)and some doesnt?

ive been reading a lot of materials about it. And the process of death/dying trying to find answer, but in the end not enough data :(

It seems likely though from what i saw, after the brain died there should be nothingness for that subject/person, due to unable to process censory input

what certain is that dying is a painful process and it seems unknown how long the process it until omeone really does disappeared. unless theres a 'hacking' to eliminate it if its possible

 

[Rational man]

But no one knows about death too? Since no one can even research about it thats why its a mystery, unknown.
People have difference pain tolerance but therrs still a limit.

I used to think fear is only a nuisance and i still dislike it.
But i learn that actually a reason&explanation for it. Its function like an alarm to alert us when theres a danger/threat that could harm us.

But if only we can control it and turn it off and on whenever we want like those alarm system.

Because theres a time when its not needed
But the problem is we cant just shut it off completely, its an automatic system.
(Same/similar to other emotions)

Finding a way to hack it maybe, but seems hard

do you think fear/ si is less when someone is dying like me. I wonder how it will be when im near the end, assuming the disease kills,me.?

 

[Efilismislife]

do you think fear/ si is less when someone is dying like me. I wonder how it will be when im near the end, assuming the disease kills,me.?

Actually im sick most of my life: incurable chronic diseases(due to tortures by psychopath family which damage me physically&mentally)
ive experienced close to dying too
But it traumatized me instead.

But different people react differently and different situation too. So i dont know about you?
Thats just me and my case.

Although i heard some people over the time can accept it more.
People have different pain/suffering tolerance&coping mechanism, i guess thats what makes it different?


the only think keeping me continue 'living'(more like enduring suffering)is i feel lost and scared of failure of the ctb plan unless its easy to obtain genuine N with high purity.

well im still trying to try other method but im anxious of messing it up