Hi, i´m trying to work on my fear, fear of death, and also the mess it lefts for the people around you, any relfections you might have about it would be great, thank you!!!
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Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
- Jul 1, 2020
- 7,031
my fear of death was so bad that it made me want to kms just to make it stop. personally control is better over spontaneous
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,330
I personally don't fear death at all. Instead I fear this existence and also ctb methods failing and making my life worse. I believe death to be nothingness, just like how before we were born where time passed and yet we were not aware of anything. There is nothing to fear as we simply cease to exist when we die, there is no more suffering and misery and everything that is wrong with existence is gone. Death is inevitable for us all anyway, so there is no point to fearing it. Life is temporary after all and one day we will all be forgotten about. It's just the way that life is. I find death to be very comforting personally and I see non existence as being ideal. Eternal rest will always be preferable to living in my opinion.
I vote of nothngness but what if there are an dark hades that we living as shadows! Why we lose the shadow after death or all those is imagination like life.
Why fear something that is inevitable? If you choose to live, you will just be prolonging the inevitable. If you kill yourself, It will definitely negatively affect those close to you. No doubt. They will be angry. Have questions. Have a fear that they themselves may be culpable. All of this could honestly lead to another suicide. But you need to accept this. accept that you are taking control. you are choosing to end on your own terms. and once you die, you're gone. no coming back. you leave it all behind. Don't choose to live for others. find peace in knowing you control when it ends. find peace in knowing that you can make the pain go away.
sidenote - always have a backup plan.
sidenote - always have a backup plan.
yea me too, spontaeus may lead to errors in this particular context
yea...that is the other thing i am really thinking about
Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
- Jul 1, 2020
- 7,031
im not sure if you mean something like an impulsive attempt but suddenly getting into a car accident and laying there in pain for hours to slowly die from bleeding or something doesnt sound like fun either and can happen at any second, id like to avoid this lol
Lastsauce
Experienced
- Dec 22, 2019
- 258
Fear of the unknown is deeply ingrained in humans and death is the ultimate unknown.
suicidesheep31.1
hurt by life
- Aug 7, 2022
- 104
I think I can relate to all of you. When I do not have anything to CTB, I do not fear death at all and wish it deeply
As soon as I have a possible methods (currently risperidone alcohol and oxycodone) I fear that is not enough and wonder what could happens if it goes wrong =I wake up and will never be able again to take my own decision about life and death.
And when I had N, I was not able to take it.
My fear is changing depending on what I am able to.
If I know I can exit whenever I want, I feel better but still not do it. When I do not have anything to do it, I feel trapped and just wish to be dead.
Edit: I still need to pick up oxycodone tomorrow
As soon as I have a possible methods (currently risperidone alcohol and oxycodone) I fear that is not enough and wonder what could happens if it goes wrong =I wake up and will never be able again to take my own decision about life and death.
And when I had N, I was not able to take it.
My fear is changing depending on what I am able to.
If I know I can exit whenever I want, I feel better but still not do it. When I do not have anything to do it, I feel trapped and just wish to be dead.
Edit: I still need to pick up oxycodone tomorrow
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hehehe not what i had in mind, but yes, i believe impulsive actions might lead to error in wichever method people chose to ctb, or anything you attempt that requires a clear path to success
is not fear of Death itself, i believe is fear of the process, think about it, people in general look at unknown experiences with anxiety, some more some less, death its like the final trip, and no one really knows where it leads, even if you are religious or atheist or whatever no one really knows...so i think thats the fear i am talking about
Thank you for posting this. I've been struggling with how my death will impact people close to me. What you said makes perfect sense and I need to remember that.
Rational man
Enlightened
- Oct 19, 2021
- 1,485
Fear of death is a natural feeling. Tragically, ive known someone in their 90s who feared it and yet it awaits everyone. I overcome my fear my accepting that i cannot control it. But it will happen AND unless i seek assistance or ctb, the process is unknown. Life is impermanence, identity is impermanence and so is pleasure and suffering. Everything is impermanence, Planet Earth Will implode too one day and will carry my remains of my DNA into the far reaches of the cosmos.
NeverEndingPain
So tired of struggling
- May 8, 2022
- 286
This …. Just prolonging the inevitable.
Everyday for months now I keep thinking tomorrow might be better and it never is. Things are just falling apart around me and my mental health is getting worse.
I don't want to go to a psych ward to be medicated and then when I get out, all the things falling apart are still falling apart.
LaVieEnRose
Angelic
- Jul 23, 2022
- 4,353
1. Practice your method if you have intense fear about carrying it out.
2. Fear won't matter when you're dead. Consider whether fear is really a good enough reason to continue to endure the pain of living.
3. Countless people of all backgrounds have managed to CTB and even more have faced death of any nature.
4. As said death is inevitable anyways so you're not bringing about anything that wasn't going to happen anyways.
5. Take comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone.
These are tips so to speak I have been using.
2. Fear won't matter when you're dead. Consider whether fear is really a good enough reason to continue to endure the pain of living.
3. Countless people of all backgrounds have managed to CTB and even more have faced death of any nature.
4. As said death is inevitable anyways so you're not bringing about anything that wasn't going to happen anyways.
5. Take comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone.
These are tips so to speak I have been using.
NeverEndingPain
So tired of struggling
- May 8, 2022
- 286
My mental illness is affecting everyone around me. I feel if I'm just gone then they can all move on with their life and I will no longer be bringing anyone down.
These are good. Do you have anymore?
Anything to help build confidence and reassurance? To help ease the guilt.
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Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
For the past couple years I have been completely consumed not by death itself but rather death being an illusion via Poincare Recurrence Theorem and/or empty/open individualism. I haven't been able to get it out of my head and it's been driving me more and more crazy ever since. If I had a guarantee that I'd be eternally void in death then I would be very relaxed but I fear we will just keep coming back again and again, whether as ourselves or as other beings. I just can't fathom existing for such a miniscule fraction of time within the span of eternity and that's just that.
LaVieEnRose
Angelic
- Jul 23, 2022
- 4,353
Focussing on the idea of never having to experience pain again sounds helpful.
Confidence? Well I guess we have to be 100% thorough in our research and preparation. Like I said practicing can help.
Guilt? You mean as in leaving people behind? That's an age-old dilemma and I feel fortunate in not having to wrestle with it. I don't know what relationships you are most worried about. Do you feel you have any really bounding obligations to them? You might just have to accept that this will hurt them and that you have to do it to for yiurself. Is there any chance of them understanding?
theboy
Illuminated
- Jul 15, 2022
- 3,199
again_noidea
Experienced
- Apr 22, 2021
- 254
I am going through same thing only mine is worse right now I am in a state where I can't even have power over my mind the only thing I want right now is escaping from this world painlessly if possible. My biggest fear is failing and finding my self in this world in a situation where I will be deprived of having a second chance to try again
sheepgirl
Student
- Aug 11, 2018
- 119
Dont really know the answer but i noticed many things that made it much worse and conditioned the fear response to be intolerable.
From my experience, being agnostic makes it much scarier, was leaning more towards the idea of theres nothing after death, bad trips on cannabis and listening to buddhist beliefs changed my view and made me more scared, followed by attempts where SI took over made it even scarier to think about going there again,
Waking up from nightmares where im commiting and waking up in sweat is further conditioning the fear, supressing the thoughts instantly, vaping nicotine, binge eating whenever the thoughts come up, no processing the emotions whatsoever anymore, all makes it so much worse, but then again, overthinking it for days while staring at the walls is no better.
And the pathological rumination and fantasizing it, while the heart rate doubles is a trap with nowhere to run or hide, the more i think, the more i stress, the more i stress, the scarier the thoughts feel.
Going through withdrawal is another one, feels impossible to accomplish when you start to think of all the suicidal thoughts that will appear
While wishing i could welcome them with open arms.
Plenty of health advocates giving advices like your mind is your body and your body is your mind, the food you eat can make an impact, deep breathing etc.
Didnt help me and i been struggling with asking myself whats the point of trying to feel better anyway.. and then saying to myself to not expect a result, to just do it for the sake of doing it, but the chatter in my mind just makes it worse it feels,
its pretty scary to just realize that things still get worse when you think you already hit rock bottom a long time ago, and understanding that that theres more to come still, and then feeling like its now or never cuz i keep telling myself i can always commit tomorrow, and then tomorrow comes and i say the same thing, i can feel the impact of it draining me on a daily.
Trying to fix my life while failing repeatedly just feels so much worse than the idea of letting go of the steering wheel, and blaming myself for not being able to let go is such a thrill...
Obviously i dont know how to fix it nor how to let go, but self awarness is definitely over-rated in this context it feels.
From my experience, being agnostic makes it much scarier, was leaning more towards the idea of theres nothing after death, bad trips on cannabis and listening to buddhist beliefs changed my view and made me more scared, followed by attempts where SI took over made it even scarier to think about going there again,
Waking up from nightmares where im commiting and waking up in sweat is further conditioning the fear, supressing the thoughts instantly, vaping nicotine, binge eating whenever the thoughts come up, no processing the emotions whatsoever anymore, all makes it so much worse, but then again, overthinking it for days while staring at the walls is no better.
And the pathological rumination and fantasizing it, while the heart rate doubles is a trap with nowhere to run or hide, the more i think, the more i stress, the more i stress, the scarier the thoughts feel.
Going through withdrawal is another one, feels impossible to accomplish when you start to think of all the suicidal thoughts that will appear
While wishing i could welcome them with open arms.
Plenty of health advocates giving advices like your mind is your body and your body is your mind, the food you eat can make an impact, deep breathing etc.
Didnt help me and i been struggling with asking myself whats the point of trying to feel better anyway.. and then saying to myself to not expect a result, to just do it for the sake of doing it, but the chatter in my mind just makes it worse it feels,
its pretty scary to just realize that things still get worse when you think you already hit rock bottom a long time ago, and understanding that that theres more to come still, and then feeling like its now or never cuz i keep telling myself i can always commit tomorrow, and then tomorrow comes and i say the same thing, i can feel the impact of it draining me on a daily.
Trying to fix my life while failing repeatedly just feels so much worse than the idea of letting go of the steering wheel, and blaming myself for not being able to let go is such a thrill...
Obviously i dont know how to fix it nor how to let go, but self awarness is definitely over-rated in this context it feels.
