Fear of Being Perceived

[SmallKoy]

Does anyone else here have a fear of being perceived/seen? I didn't realize that this is what it was called until recently. For example, when someone watches me cook or do the dishes it makes me feel embarrassed and I have to do it when no one is watching. I always have had issues with being sung happy birthday and I would go to my room and cry and not come out for the rest of the night as well when I was younger if I was sung happy birthday. I can't have people watching me if I'm drawing or writing or doing anything artistic either.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I can relate to this. I'm sorry you suffer in this way.

For me an aspect of why I struggle with this is demand avoidance. Being seen in a way creates a demand - like we're supposed to do something a certain way. I spend most of my time at home due to this.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

While it's never caused me to cry (though, there have been a few rare occasions where I felt like I was going to, lol), I also don't like it when people are watching me, let alone even around me, while I am doing things. I can't even stand having family members in the kitchen with me when I am making stuff to eat. I especially hate it when they start asking me questions about what I am doing. For some weird reason it just makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I feel the automatic urge to try and hide what I am doing. Having other people around me, observing my behaviour, makes me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. Sometimes, it even makes me feel irritable. I don't know why I am like this.

 

[glitteryaliens]

Yeah and it's partially why I'm an agoraphobe. I don't even go on walks because I hate the thought of people in cars seeing me.

 

[eatantz]

I relate!! some days its worse than others, but its really bad at family gatherings. I always have to escape because being stared at is too much, i just shut down.

I'm sorry your experiencing this \(•^•)/

 

[SmallKoy]

While it's never caused me to cry (though, there have been a few rare occasions where I felt like I was going to, lol), I also don't like it when people are watching me, let alone even around me, while I am doing things. I can't even stand having family members in the kitchen with me when I am making stuff to eat. I especially hate it when they start asking me questions about what I am doing. For some weird reason it just makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I feel the automatic urge to try and hide what I am doing. Having other people around me, observing my behaviour, makes me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. Sometimes, it even makes me feel irritable. I don't know why I am like this.

I 100% relate to this, I have no idea what causes it or why I've just been this way seemingly since I was born

 

[cymbaline23]

Yeah I have the same issue. It really bothers me when people look at me while I'm eating, or if someone watches me play a video game for example

 

[CTB Dream]

V undrstd me autisti undrstd how ppl see make prblm

 

[hoppybunny]

I feel this a lot. I hate when people perceive me. Don't ask me what i'm eating. don't watch me while i cook. don't ask me what i'm working on. do not acknowledge me if you see me working out ( i never work out cause i live in a big family and have no privacy) it's so hard to explain this to others. I really would like to get over it honestly.

 

[sserafim]

I have a fear of being perceived and seen too. I think it's due to social anxiety. I don't like people seeing me or my face (due to privacy/identity purposes) or fully knowing me, so when I go outside, I'll either wear sunglasses and a cap or a face mask and a cap. I feel better when wearing this disguise. It makes me feel protected and gives me a barrier/shield against the world and other people. It's like incognito mode lol. My anxiety is still through the roof when I go outside though. It's like an instinctual, primal reaction. I hate talking to, interacting with and being around people because I feel like they're always judging me and saying bad things about me behind my back

 

[Forever Sleep]

I definitely experience this. I suppose I always just thought it was social anxiety. Certain things are terrible experiences for me. In part, preparing food but more- eating in front of others- especially a large group of people really makes me panic. To the point I don't want to eat at all. Which is unusual for me. I love my food.

I also struggle to do creative work around others. (Which is unfortunate because, it's my job.) If they witness me making mistakes, my confidence just kind of implodes and then, I tend to get in such a state that I make more mistakes! I've tried to work alone the past few years to avoid all that and I'm much happier that way.

Did yours begin anywhere specific? Like, I feel sure I grew up with a (suspected) narcissist who used to criticize a lot of what I was doing. So, I can relate the fear of food preparation back to that for example. Did you have anyone who overly criticized you?

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I definitely experience this. I suppose I always just thought it was social anxiety. Certain things are terrible experiences for me. In part, preparing food but more- eating in front of others- especially a large group of people really makes me panic. To the point I don't want to eat at all. Which is unusual for me. I love my food.

I also struggle to do creative work around others. (Which is unfortunate because, it's my job.) If they witness me making mistakes, my confidence just kind of implodes and then, I tend to get in such a state that I make more mistakes! I've tried to work alone the past few years to avoid all that and I'm much happier that way.

Did yours begin anywhere specific? Like, I feel sure I grew up with a (suspected) narcissist who used to criticize a lot of what I was doing. So, I can relate the fear of food preparation back to that for example. Did you have anyone who overly criticized you?

Wow I do that with my artwork as well lol. I need to be alone and not have anyone near me. I also do it when I try to 100% a game. I think it's a mix of trauma, abuse and gas lighting (that's my take on why I think I'm like this).

Everything is too critical and that's the problem. Nothing is ever good enough. I've said the story before but my art teacher in secondary school said my art was wrong and I never touched art in a decade plus. I don't know how I managed a B for GCSE as I just gave up. And it's really strange how it's subjective. It's not like maths where it's either right or wrong (in the majority of cases).

I've basically gone nearly full hermit mode. I'll walk the dog, go to the sanctuary and order food and just sit in the car for hours. Not much else to do anyway.

 

[derpyderpins]

You know, when I saw this topic I didn't think it applied to me but maybe it kinda does. I really hate maintaining eye contact with anyone but my partner, constantly looking away in conversation. (I've worked on it and don't do it as much but the urge is there.) I also really hate being seen eating, particularly alone. Even though it's lunch, even though I'm in a relationship, it's still just this thought that people are thinking 'oh look at that loser.' I often won't eat at professional events just because I don't want people seeing me eat.

 

[yellowjester]

I have it too. Everything I do feels so weird and out-of-place when people look at me. It makes me wanna crawl into a cave and never come back out again.