Discussion Fear and panic

[NeverEndingPain]

When the time has come that you can no longer put off waiting to CTB, how do you manage your nerves? Every time I picture the motions of going through with it, I get instant panic. My heart races and I feel nauseated. What are some things that you have done (whoever is reading this) that has helped you to be confident and not be so fearful

 

[Jrmull1993]

Ensure you have a well thought out plan. That alone has calmed my nerves immensely.

And by plan, I dont just mean the action that will cause you to CTB. Put an all encompassing plan together of everything that needs to be in place for your departure. Once you know everything is set you'll be amazed how much weight is off your chest.

 

[Yumeko.dreams]

When the time has come that you can no longer put off waiting to CTB, how do you manage your nerves? Every time I picture the motions of going through with it, I get instant panic. My heart races and I feel nauseated. What are some things that you have done (whoever is reading this) that has helped you to be confident and not be so fearful

Sign the contract so to speak.
"Am I happy?" No
"Could I be?" Not *here*
"Is death preferable?" Yes
"Are you prepared to go through with it?" Yes

Of course, SI does exist, I killed all that nonsense a while ago, so it might interfere some. I always just remember *why* I'm doing it.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Well, I haven't tried to ctb, yet, as I'm not quite ready. I still have things I need to take care of. But, what I do on a regular basis is visualize my method and the steps I will be taking one by one, so that, hopefully, when the time comes, everything will be sort of automatic for me, if you know what I mean. My method is CO, barring some miracle of getting N.

So, I imagine myself erecting my tent, sealing all the seams, placing firebrick inside to place the buckets of coal on, opening the bags of charcoal, dumping charcoal into chimney starters, lighting the charcoal, waiting a period of time, dumping the hot charcoals from the chimney starters into the buckets, placing the buckets onto the firebrick in the tent, closing the tent, waiting another period of time, measuring the CO level with my meter, quickly getting into the tent when the CO level is high enough, closing the entrance and sealing it as fast as I can, lying down onto the pad I have placed on the floor of the tent, closing my eyes, and then not waking up.

I go through this scenario every day, so, like I said, when the time comes, it will all be second nature with no anxiety.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think about how death is the end to my suffering and that if I am gone then nothing can hurt me anymore. Non existence is ideal and is preferable to living in every single way. I also think about how we will all die eventually, so it's better to die at a time of my own choosing rather than it being out of my control.

I think that if I had a peaceful and reliable way to exit, I would have no fears but my problem is the fear of the method failing and having limited access to methods. I also think that many people leave when they reach the point of desperation and all they want is to escape. I don't fear death itself at all, I look forward to it, and the thought of ceasing to exist is very comforting.

 

[befree]

I can recommend: valerian tincture, Kava Kava root (100% in capsules or tablets) and of course a benzodiazepine, such as Diazepam (Valium).
I love both, Kava Kava and valerian. In some countries, Kava Kava is difficult to obtain. Do not buy the homeopathic remedy, it´s not strong enough.

One important point you should know. You can quickly become addicted to benzos if you take them regularly.

 

[outrider567]

When the time has come that you can no longer put off waiting to CTB, how do you manage your nerves? Every time I picture the motions of going through with it, I get instant panic. My heart races and I feel nauseated. What are some things that you have done (whoever is reading this) that has helped you to be confident and not be so fearful

I don't know--Just so sad and depressed all the time, that when the time comes, I will feel more hope and relief at ending my despair, much stronger emotions like those, will dominate any other emotions like fear or doubt

 

[Hope:-)]

Thanks for this thread. I am also struggling with this. I picture how much pain I will be in. I need to focus on why I'm doing it. The feedback helps. Thanks guys x

 

[NeverEndingPain]

Thanks for this thread. I am also struggling with this. I picture how much pain I will be in. I need to focus on why I'm doing it. The feedback helps. Thanks guys x

I just commented on one of your posts about the same thing.