Father thinks 40 is no different from 20 and that a person can start their sex / love life at that age with no experience

[Now_And_Then]

The father admits he has no clue about things like girls and relation ships
From a teenager I was mentally like a 12 year old until I was about 27 or so . I am now 37 . I was always in my own world and wanted to kill my self since school . I never mentally developed right .... I was not stupid , but I clutched on to a fantasy world for comfort . I was also pressured to not have a girl friend by the father . He never brought me up because in his words he hates responsibility , so told me he left it to my grand parents . I got no mental training from him or my mother

Yes you may have guessed I have never had a girl friend . I am not a virgin however as I went to see a few prostitutes in my 20's , but it had no significance . I went on a few dates with a girl called Zoe in 2007 , but I was so mentally wrong that I ended up drifting away from her

The father ( he is a eccentric weird in his own world , ignores much of reality ) keeps hollering to me that 40 is the exact same as 20 and even with no experience , I have the same chances as a 20 to 30 year old with getting a relation ship

He seems to not be able to grasp that there is no way I will be able to reach 40 in this state ( and I am in no mental position to try and quickly change things , too much too change )

What can I tell him regarding his belief about starting your sex and love life at 40 ? The man is an idiot

I have attached a picture of me from 2007 just do you know what Zoe had seen then ( the speech bubble I added back then )

 

[tiredplant777]

I don't have any advice for what your dad said. I just wanna say you're really handsome.

 

[Mr2005]

My dad is also a moron oblivious to how life works. He still lusts after girls that are too young for me and watches tv with no sound probably just to look at them. I would rather die than turn into him. He insists it's not too late probably to delude himself it's not too late for him. Plus he got with my mum when she was 18 and he was 35. I never thought much of it but now I'm approaching that age myself I do.

 

[Makko]

Below is an often espoused wisdom. Life begins at 40. So you're actually not too late, you're too early. Gotta bunker up for 3 more years before things really get moving.

 

[Now_And_Then]

I don't have any advice for what your dad said. I just wanna say you're really handsome.

Thank you for the kind words

Too bad it is not 2004 - 2007 now


And to think I was yearning for it to be the 90's again during that time

 

[chocolatebar]

I feel you. The feeling of getting older and having wasted your younger years is one of the worst things one can experience and seeing younger people everywhere around us, doing all the things we never did, hurts deeply into ourselves.

I just like to give a warning about posting your photo here, because it can help exposing yourself and turning you identifiable. There are many bad people around here and the anonymity protect us.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Below is an often espoused wisdom. Life begins at 40. So you're actually not too late, you're too early. Gotta bunker up for 3 more years before things really get moving.

This is only the case for successful people and people that have optimism, funds and feel happy.

 

[Now_And_Then]

This is only the case for successful people and people that have optimism, funds and feel happy.

Exactly what I said , but the father just brushes it away with a smug grin and says to me that age is only a number

Age is NOT just a number


There is a reason why after 40 your chances go right down

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Exactly what I said , but the father just brushes it away with a smug grin and says to me that age is only a number

Age is NOT just a number


There is a reason why after 40 your chances go right down

It's true. I mean there are people with little to no chances in their 20s too. But yeah, it does get worse the older one gets. It's only good if you have a skill that is necessary and you can push your way through an interview...Idk. I'm 41 and I know for me shit is OVER and has been that way since I chose a bad profession long ago. If one is smart they could go to nursing school etc.

 

[Kattt]

If you have the right teacher and are prepared to be open and ask and reply honestly to questions, why not?

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

If you have the right teacher and are prepared to be open and ask and reply honestly to questions, why not?

What? Answering questions...a dialogue isn't going to do shit. A teacher? You mean their dad? I guess. I don't think you can relate...

 

[Kattt]

What? Answering questions...a dialogue isn't going to do shit. A teacher? You mean their dad? I guess. I don't think you can relate...

I had this arrangement with my (slightly younger) lodger for a while. But tbh, if you're ok to have intimate sessions with someone, is it really so hard to ask them and have them tell you what they like?

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I had this arrangement with my (slightly younger) lodger for a while. But tbh, if you're ok to have intimate sessions with someone, is it really so hard to ask them and have them tell you what they like?

The way you word this sounds really sexual. I don't have any idea what you are talking about. The person posting is talking about their hopeful and clueless father.

 

[Makko]

The way you word this sounds really sexual. I don't have any idea what you are talking about. The person posting is talking about their hopeful and clueless father.

She's not talking about the father, she's talking about potential partners.

 

[ClairyFairy]

I would rather have someone kind and attentive that'd never had sex before. Some people in their 40s have been having sex since their teens and are crap. Flopping around like a fish in air. It's all about confidence. Getting with a teenager isn't confidence it's the opposite. Look after yourself and your own mental health first. Other things progress after that. Because you've been suicidal all that time you need to work on that. Are there any groups you can go to where you live or somewhereyou can volunteer. You need to be where the women are. If you're kind and genuine you can do it x

 

[Mr2005]

Thank you for the kind words

Too bad it is not 2004 - 2007 now


And to think I was yearning for it to be the 90's again during that time

Holy shit are you me? I started getting nostalgic for my childhood when I was approaching adulthood. Now I look back at that time with absolute horror.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My dad found my mom when he was 37 and apparently he had never even been in a relationship before then. Unfortunately this isn't the hopeful story it sounds like because my dad is and always was a horrible person who due to his age gap between all his kids made him way stricter than he needed to be as a parent and very abusive towards my mom as well to the point where she had to divorce.

I'm not saying all people who make it that far without ever having been in a relationship deserve or are their own cause for their loneliness but certainly many of them are and the fact that I'm only ten years away from reaching that point myself is why I understand that I absolutely have to end my life before I'm 30, preferably sooner so when I'm 28 this year. I never want to have to endure the current pain I feel in my 30s because it already hurts so much in my 20s.

 

[summers]

@Now_And_Then if you are even semi-serious about killing yourself, don't get into a serious relationship. It's wrong to put that one someone when they think you're going to be around for a while.

Why not start with casual dating - join pof, tinder, a couple of fb groups and just get to know people. Go out to eat, bowling, movies. You don't need to be experienced for that kind of thing. After a date or two, you can see if they want to Netflix and chill.

Last thing - if you think you're going to cum really quick when you have sex, pop a couple viagra. You can stay hard after getting off, and if you wear a condom, they won't even know.

Edit: Forgot to say, it's really easy to meet people at 40. Not just online, irl too. Just be outgoing and friendly. Try a little small talk and see what response you get. And make sure you don't just listen to music from your teens and 20s - that makes you seem old and out of touch.

 

[gottago222]

its not impossible to find love at 40 but there are different expectations of you at 40
compared to 20 or 30