Venting Fantasy too good to be true

[KleinerWolf]

I often ruminate, admire and fantasize a life so ideal that they are beyond my physical reach/experiences.

I feel a sense of relief knowing something so pleasant is physically possible for other people,
in the "right" circumstances.

and then while admiring how beautiful and wonderful it is,

When I'm done,
I sink deep down low, back into my physical circumstances,
I'm a peasant regarding my circumstances.
Whether the soul is intellectual and aware,
Its remains powerless and without major influence over the absurd circumstances.

I live off a fantasy.
But I'll probably just die old fantasising a good life I could've had.

I am not meant to take such a joke,
I don't know when/if my sn will come,
But my life is honestly so disgusting to me.

Had things been different,
better genes or nationality,
Life would've made more sense.

My life is like a pile of disgusting soggy overcooked instant noodle,
uninteresting, poor quality, and fucking dreadful and good for nothing.

 

[Intotheflames]

Definitely. That's what I've been doing my whole life. Imagine all the could have beens and run away from the reality.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Definitely. That's what I've been doing my whole life. Imagine all the could have beens and run away from the reality.

I just wanted the guarantee of not being homeless but apparently that's too much for developed societies still

 

[Intotheflames]

I just wanted the guarantee of not being homeless but apparently that's too much for developed societies still

Sorry to hear that man. What happened?

 

[ZardozOmega]

i do that too.

 

[Intotheflames]

Tough

At the whim of landlords and government non-stop, threatening letters for things that aren't my fault, stressful times and I don't see it changing much. I don't know anyone who could house me so if I get evicted now I might be on the street from what I understand

That's tough. Especially when it's not your fault. From what I've seen eviction is not as easily done, your landlords and gov might be all bark. Let's hope it never comes down to it.

 

[Mendex]

This is my reality, Leaving in the constant past.
Telling to myself "what if I don't born here instead somewhere else?"

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yes, It is quite comforting to escape into what could've been if I had only done this or that.

And realize how close I was to having it all.

It's amazing what the mind will do to shut away the horror and the truth…

 

[FuneralCry]

It is a coping mechanism for many people to think about an ideal life. It is a way of dealing with our current pain. While our minds are capable of torturing us, they are also capable of providing escapism through our imagination.
For me personally, I do not want any kind of life, I just want to not exist. Existence is suffering... Overall, living is very painful.