Venting Family

[Bulldogbitch]

My family are pretty much non existent in my life now and it hurts so much. I often cry about how lonely I am.
I don't wish to find a partner as I don't plan on being around and my mind isn't in the right place to try find anyone even if I could.

They know how depressed and suicidal I get and feel most the time, so why wouldn't they think to just send a text?
It used to be well known when I'd cause myself harm but it's not now, I keep it all bottled up, so no excuse to distance themselves in that respect.

People have said how lucky I am to have family, when others have none. I understand what they are stating, however I feel like I have none myself.

I try contact them but I'm ignored.
I could go weeks without any contact with anyone.
The thought of my rotting corpse isn't the most pleasant thing to me.

I think it's this illusion that people have, if you think depressive thoughts then you'll be depressed.
Think positive and you'll be fine, you're choosing to be like this.
My brother has actually said that to me.

I'm sure I'm not alone with this sort of thing.

The pain is indescribable to me. I hurt all the time

 

[Spitfire]

My family are pretty much non existent in my life now and it hurts so much. I often cry about how lonely I am.
I don't wish to find a partner as I don't plan on being around and my mind isn't in the right place to try find anyone even if I could.

They know how depressed and suicidal I get and feel most the time, so why wouldn't they think to just send a text?
It used to be well known when I'd cause myself harm but it's not now, I keep it all bottled up, so no excuse to distance themselves in that respect.

People have said how lucky I am to have family, when others have none. I understand what they are stating, however I feel like I have none myself.

I try contact them but I'm ignored.
I could go weeks without any contact with anyone.
The thought of my rotting corpse isn't the most pleasant thing to me.

I think it's this illusion that people have, if you think depressive thoughts then you'll be depressed.
Think positive and you'll be fine, you're choosing to be like this.
My brother has actually said that to me.

I'm sure I'm not alone with this sort of thing.

The pain is indescribable to me. I hurt all the time

I hope you can find a way to feel better.