Family is coming into town soon and I really don't want to deal with it

[Unending]

My family is visiting soon and I don't want to deal with it. It is increasingly difficult to put on the normal person act and I just don't care at all to be around other living creatures at all. I feel very little connection to anyone almost ever and have begun to feel uncomfortable when any sense of connection pops up. Maybe it's a fear thing. Relationships have been a big cause of pain for me. At least the pain of loneliness is a less intense one for me.

I don't know if any of them really understand how far gone I've become. I've talked with them on the phone a few times in the last year but I'm nearly positive that they don't get the full picture. It's kind of depressing opening up about such horrible stuff to people who are technically family but don't understand who I am at all or how I operate and what I've been through.

I'm worried of the message that it will send if I don't go see them but I don't know that I can do it. I loathe the moment that I open up to somebody about my life and hear the most ridiculous things. It's absurd how you can struggle with severe, life destroying mental illness for years and go through every treatment option and every self help idea and still get all these generic responses over and over as if you've never even learned about exercise or anti-depressants.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly think that it's for the best to be alone, I understand why you would wish to avoid this. Other people can very easily just make things worse with how dismissive and invalidating they are.

 

[SorrowMind]

Protect yourself from the biggest harm and maybe think of some compromise. Like seeing them briefly for a shallow conversation while you avoid opening up if their opinions hurt and make your mental health worse.
I love my family but I've come to terms that they can't understand my struggles. Also, suffering from loneliness from time to time is way more bearable to me than being dragged into relationships that harm me or don't harm me but in that case I am reminded that almost all human relationships of any sort have a transactional value that I don't like…
because of that I don't value that much relationships or at least I am not making that the ultimate goal of existence or whatever, I am fine being alone or having some connections from time to time witout any expectations or drama.
I wish you best of luck with this this stressful situation, it must be really uncomfortable but I hope it goes well for you.

 

[iknowitsover666]

Damn I feel this, I'm an avoidant too