Venting Family finally accepted it

[struggles_inc]

It's been 12 years since I've started feeling this way. I'm 23 and I haven't felt well since I was 11.

My family never believed in depression, therapy or mental health. I couldn't get help or support. Nothing. Even as adult I was very afraid of judgemental looks.

However, my mental state has been severely deteriorating since spring. I look like I'm on the verge and I can't control my outbursts anymore.

I live separately, but today my mom finally told me that she's afraid I might have depression. She said she might have been wrong about her stance on mental health. And she said she would support me if I started therapy.

I've been crying tears of joy for a few hours now.
Should I perhaps… attempt recovery again?

 

[theboy]

I've been doing this for years too. It's tiring... but if your tears are tears of joy, go for it!

 

[human909]

yeah sure, totally. if you are in joy try recovering and see if it helps. Hope you recover well.

 

[struggles_inc]

I've been doing this for years too. It's tiring... but if your tears are tears of joy, go for it!

It's the first day ever that I feel seen. I remember crying silently on the phone with my mom when last year she said that I never knew true grief/suffering.

I guess that means that rn I'm in such a bad shape that there's no escape from this anymore. It's finally so apparent that I'm unwell. But that's ok, because after 12 yrs I can stop pretending.

 

[theboy]

It's the first day ever that I feel seen. I remember crying silently on the phone with my mom when last year she said that I never knew true grief/suffering.

I guess that means that rn I'm in such a bad shape that there's no escape from this anymore. It's finally so apparent that I'm unwell. But that's ok, because after 12 yrs I can stop pretending.

Yes... we know when something is wrong
So, good travel

 

[struggles_inc]

Yes... we know when something is wrong
So, good travel

Thank you so much

yeah sure, totally. if you are in joy try recovering and see if it helps. Hope you recover well.

Thank you so much I'm absolutely unsure about all that rn but I just feel really seen. Like I don't have to keep up the act anymore.

 

[itsnigh]

Your story just made me tear up. I've never cried from a thread on this site before, it's so wild that yours is the one that got me, but it really has. You have hope back. Please if you're considering it even slightly, do try again. Don't give up on everything if there is still hope in you.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm happy that she finally is open to the idea and is willing to help you through this process. I always suggest everyone try everyone option available before trying to ctb. I wish you the best.

 

[struggles_inc]

Your story just made me tear up. I've never cried from a thread on this site before, it's so wild that yours is the one that got me, but it really has. You have hope back. Please if you're considering it even slightly, do try again. Don't give up on everything if there is still hope in you.

Thank you so much. I'm sharing that hope with everyone here right now. You all have my support here, this site has been a blessing for almost two years for me.

 

[vitbar]

Better late than never. I'm happy for you. It's admirable your mum was able and willing to change her mind too.

I'd say try for recovery. Life can be pretty sweet, or at least have its moments.