Story FAMILY AND MY DEATH

[Unattainable666]

'First let me interject that I've had a bit to drink so please forgive me. I have no family I've had no family for a very long time. Oh I have a son who is living but his wife doesn't like me so he emoved me from his life about 7 years ago. Between you and me it broke me heart - my is still broken. I will be ctb soon, and I consider you all to be my family (I know I know in reality you all probably don't give a shit about me but let me live in my fantasy world til I to). I would like to thank the mods for keeping this site going - by doing that it has kept my life going. I want to thank all the kind, compassionate real people on this site for their inputs on my crazy rants. I honesty consider you all my family Thank you

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I'm so sorry to hear your situation and that you have no family to rely on. Is there any chance you could get back in touch with your son? People here definitely care and here to listen.

 

[Unattainable666]

I'm so sorry to hear your situation and that you have no family to rely on. Is there any chance you could get back in touch with your son? People here definitely care and here to listen.

no he made it clear he wanted me out of his life it would just be nice after i ctb someone remembers me

 

[betternever2havbeen]

no he made it clear he wanted me out of his life it would just be nice after i ctb someone remembers me

That's pretty cruel of him unless there was a solid reason. Is it possible his wife is/was manipulating him? Getting people to cut family off is a common thing narcissists do. Don't you wanna try contacting him again before you CTB? I understand if not, but 7 years is a long time. I can't get on your profile to read any of your posts so I apologise if you've already talked about it. I'm sure lots of people would miss you on here

 

[Unattainable666]

That's pretty cruel of him unless there was a solid reason. Is it possible his wife is/was manipulating him? Getting people to cut family off is a common thing narcissists do. Don't you wanna try contacting him again before you CTB? I understand if not, but 7 years is a long time. I can't get on your profile to read any of your posts so I apologise if you've already talked about it. I'm sure lots of people would miss you on here

his wife didn't like me. i'll never contact him

 

[HighFlight]

I've known you were going through some hard times at work from some of your chats, but wasn't aware you had lost your son in this manner. I have two boys and they are my only real reason for staying here. I can't begin imagine the pain you're going through.

Do you think your desire to ctb would be different if he was in your life? Obviously your choice, but I agree with @betternever2havbeen that it might be worth it to attempt to reach out to him. If not for you, than maybe for him.

I lost my dad in late 2021, but hadn't seen or heard from him since October 1986. He was a bad dad, and did some terrible things. Spent 20 years in prison, and then vanished. As an adult, I would have given anything to have one last conversation with him - so many questions. I will never have a chance for that to happen, and it hurts not having closure.

Regardless of our decision, I sincerely hope you can find some peace. And feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

 

[Unattainable666]

I've known you were going through some hard times at work from some of your chats, but wasn't aware you had lost your son in this manner. I have two boys and they are my only real reason for staying here. I can't begin imagine the pain you're going through.

Do you think your desire to ctb would be different if he was in your life? Obviously your choice, but I agree with @betternever2havbeen that it might be worth it to attempt to reach out to him. If not for you, than maybe for him.

I lost my dad in late 2021, but hadn't seen or heard from him since October 1986. He was a bad dad, and did some terrible things. Spent 20 years in prison, and then vanished. As an adult, I would have given anything to have one last conversation with him - so many questions. I will never have a chance for that to happen, and it hurts not having closure.

Regardless of our decision, I sincerely hope you can find some peace. And feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

I appreciate your kind words. I'm afraid it's too late to make amend. When he told me to "get the fuck out of my house and I never want to see you again." he made it crystal clear he wanted nothing to do with me. Ironically, I raised him by myself - worked 3 jobs, gave him everything he wanted and needed - he always came first. His "father" wanted nothing to do with him, no child support, no visits. And ironically I turned out to be the bad guy. So between losing my little girl and losing him - I have no one.