Fake attempt to make my family notice me

[bluesk]

So it's 100% sure I'm gonna do it soon. But I feel the need to know I'm loved before death. I live with my family but we're pretty distant so I wanna check if they really care about me. If they don't, even better - it will make me fear death even less. So I want to ask if you think it's a good idea and how should I do it. I'm thinking about leaving a note, leaving the house when no one is here and driving into a forrest. Then I'll just sit in the car and think. Then I'll come back home acting like drugs I took didn't work (I won't actually take anything). Or maybe it's better for them to find me first? If I take my phone with me can they track me down?

 

[walliwalli]

faking an attempt is a big deal. they'll probably call the cops trying to find you. in addition to whatever that would cause, are you absolutely certain you need to see your family's reaction? even if you're "distant," i'm sure it will have an effect on them and they will care. if the point of it is that you want your mind to be changed, then sure, i think it would be an eye-opening experience for you. but otherwise i'm not sure if it's worth it. it just seems like a huge emotional effort to deal with all that if you are certain you are going to CTB anyways. and try to see it from your family's perspective. if they care about you (which is likely), then it will hurt them even more if you "fail" an attempt, they (likely) try to support you and beg you to not try again, and then you do try again and succeed. they might be stuck wondering about that crucial middle step and if there's anything they could've changed about their reaction to make you stay.

just my thoughts. not trying to dissuade you from attempting overall, but i don't think a fake attempt is a good idea.