Story Failed Recovery

[Moroze]

I'm 22, and I feel like I've already lived a lifetime of trying to "get better".

Doctors, meds, therapy, diet changes, exercise, journaling, meditation, gratitude lists, new routines, new environments, you name it. Everyone says healing takes time, that effort pays off, that positivity matters. But I've done everything I was supposed to do, and I still feel broken in ways I can't fix.

It's exhausting to keep hoping when every "next thing" turns out to be another dead end. I'm not lazy. I'm not ungrateful. I'm just tired, tired of chasing recovery like it's something I can earn if I try hard enough.

Sometimes I wish people understood that not every story of struggle ends in a neat little comeback. Some of us are still here, still trying, still breathing, even when nothing helps. And maybe that's enough for now.

 

[imontheloose]

Some of us just weren't meant to be alive and that is the sad truth. No amount of intervention will fix that fundamental violation.

 

[yourlucy]

Has love helped for you, or was it the thing that ruined everything? I'm very sorry for your suffering regardless, i have had to take care of my loved one who has left me recently and he also tried everything to get better and has told me countless times of how tired he was of life in general, and it made me feel horrible cause i thought it was my fault all along even tho i tried so hard for him everyday, i know how exhausting it is to even do the smallest things like waking up and breathing, it can feel suffocating at times and makes u not even want to get up, its not lazyness its just hopelessness and losing touch with reality at times, thats how i see it, i do wish you the best tho, i hope tomorrow you get to enjoy a great cup of tea/coffee/chocolate milk anything that gives comfort.
btw it's okay for life not to get "better", moments that you decide in life make it enjoyable, like go spoil yourself and make yourself feel good, or try to take care of someone/something like a little bonsai, a flower, a little pet it'll give you energy cause their life will depend on you, and for me it kinda gives me hope to continue my life for them i don't know if you'll find this of any use but i hope my stupid silly little words can help you somehow

 

[Owlers]

I feel this on a level I wish I didn't. I'm 20. I've been through therapy, been through medications, been through institutions or rehabs and done the programs. I've reached out, I've stayed done all these step by steps on how to get better, and sometimes it feels like I'm holding on to a future I have absolutely no proof of existing. Like there is no getting better, there's only surviving. I got to the point of hating talking to people about my head because I was getting the same information. It was like I reached a point where I heard it all, and all I could think was,, there's no way I've reached the extent. Theres no way there's not more meds, more therapy, more coping, more anything. Theres no way I've reached the point where I just exist in this cycle now and hope it magically works some day.

And maybe we have. Maybe we aren't ever going to be completely content and happy and 'better'. And maybe thats okay. Maybe waking up and trying is enough. Maybe we only smile once a day. Once a week. And maybe thats alright.