Story failed first attempt yesterday

[akiyue]

I failed to suffocate myself by carbon monoxide poisoning plus sleep pills in a closed room. It's been 24 hours. Alive, but I am still extremely depressed now. I lose all hope: studying at college for 8 years and dropped out last year, never graduated, no friends, zero job experience,no money, no self-esteem, living with parents. Guess what? I am searching if there are suicide pills for sale on the Dark Web. There are also some U.S based websites showing that they sell Nembutal and Cyanide. Here is the links:
https://bestmedssupplies.com/product/nembutal-pills-100mg-100-tablets-vial/

Not sure it is a trusted dealer...

 

[El Topo]

Any "suicide pills" you find on the darknet markets have a 99% chance of being a scam, unless you're looking for opiates.

You can get the December 2017 version of The Peaceful Pill Handbook here, along with other euthanasia guides:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/list-of-resources.3/

It gives instructions on how to obtain pentobarbital, the medicine used for assisted euthanasia.

Or you can just try carbon monoxide again. CO poisoning is a very reliable method.

 

[Mia]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've also been through a lot of failed suicide attempts, it's really devastating afterwards. If you don't mind answering, what happened that made it go wrong? CO is the method I want to use to ctb so I'm trying to get as much information as I can.

Like the poster above said, the suicide pills are most likely scams. Sources from guides like the PPH are much more trustworthy.

 

[Kfoe!12]

Since Topo already said the most important stuff, I'll just send my sympathies to you.
The huge disappointment after failing is one of the worst feelings you can experience, dying is the only thing you find peace in and the only thing you enjoy thinking about, and the second you're about to reach it, you fucking fail.

If you can't find A's email in the pph just dm me and ill give it to you.

 

[akiyue]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've also been through a lot of failed suicide attempts, it's really devastating afterwards. If you don't mind answering, what happened that made it go wrong? CO is the method I want to use to ctb so I'm trying to get as much information as I can.

Like the poster above said, the suicide pills are most likely scams. Sources from guides like the PPH are much more trustworthy.

I bought a huge bag of premium lump charcoal online. I put a stack of paper in a metal container first, then I wrapped every piece of charcoal with a layer of paper, put them into the container, then I lighted up the stacked paper at the bottom. I thought it would be odorless, but it smelt exactly like a fire accident. The room was full of smoke. Even though I took 30mg melotonin and 75mg Diphenhydraming and fell asleep, I woke up with the smoky breathe. Not sure if I was CO poisoned, but the wooden floor was barbecued a large hole. My parents will come back from travel tomorrow, I have to confess my suicide attempt when they see it. I screwed up.

 

[Kfoe!12]

I bought a huge bag of premium lump charcoal online. I put a stack of paper in a metal container first, then I wrapped every piece of charcoal with a layer of paper, put them into the container, then I lighted up the stacked paper at the bottom. I thought it would be odorless, but it smelt exactly like a fire accident. The room was full of smoke. Even though I took 30mg melotonin and 75mg Diphenhydraming and fell asleep, I woke up with the smoky breathe. Not sure if I was CO poisoned, but the wooden floor was barbecued a large hole. My parents will come back from travel tomorrow, I have to confess my suicide attempt when they see it. I screwed up.

Oh god, bud, update us on your situation and we'll try to help you out, not sure how to make up an excuse for the hole though...

 

[Tiredman]

Is the burn mark anywhere near the stove

 

[Kfoe!12]

Is the burn mark anywhere near the stove

I had the same thought pattern, but stoves usually have automated ventilation right?

 

[El Topo]

I bought a huge bag of premium lump charcoal online. I put a stack of paper in a metal container first, then I wrapped every piece of charcoal with a layer of paper, put them into the container, then I lighted up the stacked paper at the bottom. I thought it would be odorless, but it smelt exactly like a fire accident. The room was full of smoke. Even though I took 30mg melotonin and 75mg Diphenhydraming and fell asleep, I woke up with the smoky breathe. Not sure if I was CO poisoned, but the wooden floor was barbecued a large hole. My parents will come back from travel tomorrow, I have to confess my suicide attempt when they see it. I screwed up.

Akiyue, I'm not an expert on the CO method, but from what I've read, if you do it correctly, there should not be any smoke or smell. CO is odorless. There's a very detailed thread about this method here:
https://8ch.net/suicide/res/36746.html

For now, I think your main priority should be trying to come up with a plausible excuse for the hole. If you tell your parents about the attempt, it could just make things worse. (Depending on where you live.)

 

[bag.of.cats]

Take a look at this thread, it might help you in your future tries. It describes a way to generate CO with chemicals instead of charcoal or whatever.

I have to confess my suicide attempt when they see it. I screwed up.

I would advice against that. Try to cleanup as much as possible and make up some stupid excuse for now.

 

[akiyue]

[Updated 05/06/2018]
A little add up before this happened. My parents knew I bought a grill pot and charcoal weeks before they went to travel. Before they left, they told me not barbecue at the room (because they never thought I would commit suicide). I was a bit nervous, but since they said nothing more than that, everything went smooth as planned. I cut off all the smoke/CO alarm wires using scissors before I took sleep pills and lighted up the charcoal. The suicide day is the day before they come back from travel, making it a perfect alibi and fresh scene for the police.
Here what it turned out. My parents came back from travel yesterday afternoon. When they saw the burnt hole, they thought I tried to burn the whole house! At first they were shocked by the hole (plus another burnt mark next to it, because I lighted up two pots of charcoal). What I try to say it, they never think I am suicidal at all! After all this on that day, everything went as usual, besides they did a little cleanup of the floor and came up a quick fix plan for Sunday. I feel I am betrayed but no anger. My emotion is numb...

 

[akiyue]

[Updated 05/07/2018]
Yesterday My dad threw my bag of charcoal to the recycle bin. I took it back and hid it in the garage, just in case. Today, the guy "A" who sells Nembutal replied me. First I was confused about the bitcoin transaction. I spent the whole day opening an bitcoin wallet and made a transaction. Due to coinbase.com's policy I have to wait for 14 days until the bitcoin is available to send. It means I have to wait for these 14 days plus another 15 days of delivery to finally get the Nembutal!

 

[MisarableCock]

Did you wait for charcoal to turn white?

 

[akiyue]

Did you wait for charcoal to turn white?

I did not. The charcoal turned white when I woke up. I left the room too soon!

 

[Aity4883]

It looks like OP did not do it properly at all. This is what happens from a a lack of research.

The method is very goos and reliable if done properly.

 

[akiyue]

[Updated 05/08/2018]
The floor were pretty much fixed (it just looks different in colors), but the smoky smell is still around the house. The Nembutal guy told me to get back to him when my bitcoins become available. He will calculate how much bitcoin I will have to pay at that time.

 

[El Topo]

[Updated 05/08/2018]
The floor were pretty much fixed (it just looks different in colors), but the smoky smell is still around the house. The Nembutal guy told me to get back to him when my bitcoins become available. He will calculate how much bitcoin I will have to pay at that time.

Damn, you really lucked out. You could've burned down your house. lol

If you're going to take pentobarbital, please at least do some basic reading about it. You obviously did not do much research before using the carbon monoxide method.

 

[Fennec123]

I thought Pentobarbital was almost impossible to source?

 

[DreamEnd]

I thought Pentobarbital was almost impossible to source?

This is a thread from 2018. It was pretty easy to source back then