Failed attempt. Got laughed at by the NHS

[thelostautistic]

I'm so sorry you had to endure this. Nobody should be treated this way

 

[prompt_critical]

Yes true. I can't explain how much all of this has made my mental health worse. I feel completely hopeless. my chest is constantly sore. i've lost my appetite and losing weight (yay at least). it was so terrifying i would never want to end up in an emergency room again. i don't want to go to hospital for anything if i can help it. i've been looking into an ADRT but will have to make one that doesn't make them decide i don't have capacity all of a sudden. my life was better when no one knew about how i felt truly. now my medical records make me look like someone who has no credibility. i'll never be taken seriously again about anything. i hope a disease takes me. i'm hoping something gives me the blessing of peace. i intend to lie low now after all of this. complete uni do what i have to do to get by day by day. then when the opportunity comes i hope i would have found my method. i love my family and friends. i'm forever grateful for them. but this time i don't intend to give anyone any indication of my intentions. this was all so difficult to bear.

I made an ADRT a month ago when I decided I'm going to CTB and they have to shut up and take it, it's not a medical document it's a legal one. I made one specifically in case I fail and end up irretrievably disabled. I have BPD and multiple attempts and they have to take it.

It only becomes an issue if they really want to argue that you weren't in your right mind when you made it but depending on exactly what your write in the activation clauses it might not matter. Mine covers brain injury traumatic or organic that disables me. You have to have a witness sign saying they saw you sign in it. so it's hard for them to pretend like you went mental and did it by yourself.

The do not resuscitate by medics part is more complicated, and is a seperate issue but I don't care about that because if they keep me alive in the hospital, it would have to be under the condition that they think I won't be disabled and if that's the case, I'll be able to try again. Paramedics however will resuscitate you and ask questions later so you have to make sure it's very visible by your body and still aim to not be disturbed during your attempt. It's more a last line of defense against being retarded.

I just want to be alone so I can think about everything but it's never going to happen so I keep having to make these dangerous snap decisions and I don't even know what I'm doing half the time in just stumbling towards ending it step by step.

 

[jojobanana]

I made an ADRT a month ago when I decided I'm going to CTB and they have to shut up and take it, it's not a medical document it's a legal one. I made one specifically in case I fail and end up irretrievably disabled. I have BPD and multiple attempts and they have to take it.

It only becomes an issue if they really want to argue that you weren't in your right mind when you made it but depending on exactly what your write in the activation clauses it might not matter. Mine covers brain injury traumatic or organic that disables me. You have to have a witness sign saying they saw you sign in it. so it's hard for them to pretend like you went mental and did it by yourself.

The do not resuscitate by medics part is more complicated, and is a seperate issue but I don't care about that because if they keep me alive in the hospital, it would have to be under the condition that they think I won't be disabled and if that's the case, I'll be able to try again. Paramedics however will resuscitate you and ask questions later so you have to make sure it's very visible by your body and still aim to not be disturbed during your attempt. It's more a last line of defense against being retarded.

I just want to be alone so I can think about everything but it's never going to happen so I keep having to make these dangerous snap decisions and I don't even know what I'm doing half the time in just stumbling towards ending it step by step.

thanks for sharing. i'm looking into it now. did you speak to a solicitor first or a GP? how did you go about planning when you first decided? and what do you think you'll do about having your ADRT available in case you need resus and you're not in hospital or elsewhere? also how much did it cost?

 

[prompt_critical]

thanks for sharing. i'm looking into it now. did you speak to a solicitor first or a GP? how did you go about planning when you first decided? and what do you think you'll do about having your ADRT available in case you need resus and you're not in hospital or elsewhere? also how much did it cost?

It's free look it up on the NHS website. I printed 2 copies. Filled both out in front of my witness, took one to my GP to get it uploaded to the database, they scan it and give it back to you.

Now I keep one at home and one on me at all times in my CTB kit.

Advance decision (living will)

An advance decision to refuse treatment lets your healthcare team know your wishes if you are not able to communicate them.

www.nhs.uk

Living will (advance decision)

A living will is a form which lets you refuse any medical treatments that you do not want to be given in the future.

compassionindying.org.uk

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

I feel for your experience. But what can you expect from life? It's a game. Most people always lose during it, even though in the end everyone loses.

 

[turtle2]

First of, I'm sorry your issues were mocked and dismissed like they were. Medical staff can be god awful, especially when it comes to psychiatric issues. Your being a young woman only made things worse. So yeah, it really sucks.

I feel it's important to say that labelling your seizures as "psychological" is not synonymous to saying that you are faking them.

 

[jojobanana]

First of, I'm sorry your issues were mocked and dismissed like they were. Medical staff can be god awful, especially when it comes to psychiatric issues. Your being a young woman only made things worse. So yeah, it really sucks.

I feel it's important to say that labelling your seizures as "psychological" is not synonymous to saying that you are faking them.

it's really silly because i know that's what they're trying to say by saying they're psychological. especially suggesting i was purposely avoiding questions. its easy if you've got mental health issues. but they just stopped after my bloods cleared (they were only mildly disturbed on the first attendance). after like 3 days. so it had no connection to the overdose at all? it's difficult. you just know they're mocking you still but can't say anything. psychological is a very easy way to dismiss someone. it doesn't matter the next one will work and i won't have to argue.