Venting Failed again and now I'm Down my method

[SmallPika]

GOD FUCKING FUCK.

So I posted last Thursday about my first genuine attempt to ctb. Almost a week later, I'm still here. I've come to the shitty conclusion that the method I concocted (the only one I've found that's accessible to me), just can't work. The method is using a noose made out of bedsheets, tied to the clothing rod in my closet, then slung over the door. Well, the doors too short. Or I'm too tall. Or my head's too big. Whatever it is, the measurments don't add up. There needs to be enough slack in the rope for me to fit my head through. Even the tightest possible squeeze results in my feet hitting the ground when the knot sinches.

Now I'm shit out of luck. That was the only option. Tomorrow I'm seeing my counselor. I'm not telling her shit about any of it. I don't know what I will talk about honestly since this is all I've been thinking about or doing for the past two weeks.

I just want something other than life. It doesn't even have to be good. It doesn't help that I've been fantisising about "heaven" where I'm healthy and capable and people like me.

 

[castler]

Sry it didn't work out like u hoped. I would kinda think I would want more distance to the ground. Top of a door wouldn't give u enough clearance as u don't want ur feet touching the ground. (At least I wouldn't. Maybe try to find a decent tree?).

I've never tried hanging. But it's something to consider.

 

[honir]

or what my friend did. Hired a hitman on herself.

 

[SmallPika]

or what my friend did. Hired a hitman on herself.

That'd be nice tbh, no need to worry if I don't know when it's coming, and relatively painless considering they'd likely use a gun. I don't have any money though and even if I did I don't think I'm smart enough to find a service like that lol

 

[honir]

I can only imagine what she probably was thinking because we were supposed to hang out and mock people at the mall. It happened so suddenly. I can access her laptop and probably go through her messages but why bother right? Maybe she planned to backout but can no longer do so? I really do not know.

 

[chronicallybroken]

That'd be nice tbh, no need to worry if I don't know when it's coming, and relatively painless considering they'd likely use a gun. I don't have any money though and even if I did I don't think I'm smart enough to find a service like that lol

Iconic way to go, but same - wouldn't know where to start and definitely don't have the funds

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would be frustrated. Suicide really is difficult and more than anything I wish that it is easier to leave. I have never attempted hanging personally as I fear it going wrong in some way. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit, it should not be this hard to be free from this life. I hope that you find relief from your suffering. Best wishes.

 

[Sun n showers]

or what my friend did. Hired a hitman on herself.

Did she succeed with that? I have wanted to try to do that but how would you find one ?

 

[plshlpme]

I feel sorry for you OP.

 

[outrider567]

Did she succeed with that? I have wanted to try to do that but how would you find one ?

Most people get arrested when trying to hire a hitman to kill others--FBI stings abound---Hiring one to kill yourself would probably amuse the FBI somewhat, but in any case I'm sure the FBI would still be pissed enough to charge you with something, so forget about it

That'd be nice tbh, no need to worry if I don't know when it's coming, and relatively painless considering they'd likely use a gun. I don't have any money though and even if I did I don't think I'm smart enough to find a service like that lol

Painless unless they screw up and just shoot out your eye instead--Its not like Hollywood--One time I read this one hitman was so dumb, he saw a cop looking right at him and he took a shot anyway at his target---Another hitman questioned by police said he decided not to kill his woman target(despite taking the money) because 'she was too pretty'---Another hitman succeeded in killing this woman in a parking garage but then had to kill three more people at the same time because they saw him--Of course he was caught right away

 

[Suicideorgy]

Cut the last bedsheet to make it shorter or tie another knot in it (doesnt matter where)

 

[honir]

Did she succeed with that? I have wanted to try to do that but how would you find one ?

I am a little bit emotional now. I am rummaging through her stuffs. Her pin code is our BFF day if ever you have one. From what I can see, it seems she got the idea through quora. I am reading through her messages and I could not see the reason for this at all. Her family is all caring and loving. She just went downhill somewhere along the line til we became roomies. She is gone now though. Seems like time is so short after all. A bit cruel not to think about us though.

Most people get arrested when trying to hire a hitman to kill others--FBI stings abound---Hiring one to kill yourself would probably amuse the FBI somewhat, but in any case I'm sure the FBI would still be pissed enough to charge you with something, so forget about it

Painless unless they screw up and just shoot out your eye instead--Its not like Hollywood--One time I read this one hitman was so dumb, he saw a cop looking right at him and he took a shot anyway at his target---Another hitman questioned by police said he decided not to kill his woman target(despite taking the money) because 'she was too pretty'---Another hitman succeeded in killing this woman in a parking garage but then had to kill three more people at the same time because they saw him--Of course he was caught right away

Just wondering how they will charge a dead person something as if it matters. for now, she is but just a number to the public.

 

[Sun n showers]

Did she succeed with that? I have wanted to try to do that but how would you find one ?

I am a little bit emotional now. I am rummaging through her stuffs. Her pin code is our BFF day if ever you have one. From what I can see, it seems she got the idea through quora. I am reading through her messages and I could not see the reason for this at all. Her family is all caring and loving. She just went downhill somewhere along the line til we became roomies. She is gone now though. Seems like time is so short after all. A bit cruel not to think about us though.


Just wondering how they will charge a dead person something as if it matters. for now, she is but just a number to the public.

Trying to pm you honir, but don't seem to be able to... so sorry for your loss

 

[SmallPika]

I am a little bit emotional now. I am rummaging through her stuffs. Her pin code is our BFF day if ever you have one. From what I can see, it seems she got the idea through quora. I am reading through her messages and I could not see the reason for this at all. Her family is all caring and loving. She just went downhill somewhere along the line til we became roomies. She is gone now though. Seems like time is so short after all. A bit cruel not to think about us though.


Just wondering how they will charge a dead person something as if it matters. for now, she is but just a number to the public.

hey man, i know this is probably more hard than most of us can imagine. i dont think theres anything i can say that will definitively help. know that us on this forum are here for you. stay strong, much love <3

 

[honir]

Still getting used to the interface of this site. Do not know how to enable PMs or disable. I appreciate you guys. Stay strong.