F*cked up too many times..

[wutsthepoint]

Anyone else feel like living with the knowledge of their crucial mistakes, is worse than ctb.. Ive tried for five months to be alone and work through the shit storm, but at this point im ready to put the Nitro tank to use and forget for good. Am I alone in this?

 

[MLongshaw]

You're not alone my man. We're all in this hell together

 

[Ssname]

Not alone at all. I don't want to live with my memories. Would rather suiside

 

[RoloTomasi]

I've made a lot of mistakes, I have been believing that I deserve to die, it makes the decision to ctb feel right.

 

[wutsthepoint]

I've made a lot of mistakes, I have been believing that I deserve to die, it makes the decision to ctb feel right.

me too friend. nother few weeks maybe ill see my sister and moms last birthdays then go. sad

 

[letmeseethedeath]

Anyone else feel like living with the knowledge of their crucial mistakes, is worse than ctb.. Ive tried for five months to be alone and work through the shit storm, but at this point im ready to put the Nitro tank to use and forget for good. Am I alone in this?

nope, you're not alone. im living this hell with all of you.. i hope this life ends for everybody soon

 

[EternalSleep]

I have made a terrible mistake which led to me developing a horrible illness called bipolar disorder.

I can't wait to die so my memories of all my mistakes vanish.

 

[Vicepuma]

Too many memories.

No matter how hard you try, they're always there to remind you what's wrong in your life. It's not fair, but life doesn't care. The world will still keep on going no matter how shitty you feel. That's just reality.

Life is a cruel joke, but it can also be a beautiful thing if everything goes right.

 

[itsallover]

You're right man regret and shame is the worst feeling like after a night of hard drinking. Hopefully I make it through my current situation of physical problems
If I do I promised myself that I'm gonna be the biggest scumbag around. I spent my whole life being generous and kind just to get fucked in the end. People are animals and I want to be the biggest one just short of going to prison. Everyone is crooked and corrupt all the way up from the president down to nurses aids anyway.

 

[Tiburcio]

I did and unfortunately I still do bad things and I'm not proud of it. I harmed a lot of persons who will never be recovered and animals too. Some months ago before entering here I was the kind of person you would hate or could caused some of your problems.

I think this is what I deserve, honestly.

 

[Dead_Inside]

You're right man regret and shame is the worst feeling like after a night of hard drinking. Hopefully I make it through my current situation of physical problems
If I do I promised myself that I'm gonna be the biggest scumbag around. I spent my whole life being generous and kind just to get fucked in the end. People are animals and I want to be the biggest one just short of going to prison. Everyone is crooked and corrupt all the way up from the president down to nurses aids anyway.

Oh I feel this.... I am so tired of being that one friend/person who will give you some money or listen to you when no one else will. But now that I am fucked up .... oh well now people just say -"you need help" and leave me alone or fight with me. But even right now if they have a problem they come tell me about it then disappear.
When do I get to be a fucking asshole too?

 

[itsallover]

Oh I feel this.... I am so tired of being that one friend/person who will give you some money or listen to you when no one else will. But now that I am fucked up .... oh well now people just say -"you need help" and leave me alone or fight with me. But even right now if they have a problem they come tell me about it then disappear.
When do I get to be a fucking asshole too?

I hate that shit. I have always been kind and helpful to people as ive always been the one to reach. Then when I need something it's like I'm a complete stranger. These are people that ive done a lot for and have left me at my worst times where I've been completely. Again as ive said before I could kill these people if it wasn't illegal or wouldn't care at all if they died and ugly violent death. Most people are animals and should be treated that way
The only supposed courtesy you see nowadays is from employees whose job depends on it.

 

[Final Escape]

What exactly happened? Or like a short version, main issues? Just curious is all.

 

[wutsthepoint]

What exactly happened? Or like a short version, main issues? Just curious is all.

welp i ruined an absolutely heaven sent marriage with the most beautiful girl on earth. she adored me for all my faults, till i pushed to far. now its all gone and never to come back, every single second of my life since has been worthless.

 

[wutsthepoint]

Too many memories.

No matter how hard you try, they're always there to remind you what's wrong in your life. It's not fair, but life doesn't care. The world will still keep on going no matter how shitty you feel. That's just reality.

Life is a cruel joke, but it can also be a beautiful thing if everything goes right.

read your post, similar but im to blame. i hate myself like a jewish person hates hitler