(F/18) CTB RIGHT NOW anyone else??

[efffervescence]

i don't want to die alone message me ur discord or number or something

edit: i'm actually 19 in really tired

 

[Stillnotsure]

What do you need help with my dear.

 

[efffervescence]

What do you need help with my dear.

i'm out i cba to die alone i was wondering if anyone else is ctb tonight

 

[Stillnotsure]

Well, if you need to talk about anything, we're all here.

 

[Haze]

Don't do something rash. Excuse the presumption, but given your age and sex, I think you're likely to try ODing on the medicine cabinet. If that's the case, not gonna work.

 

[efffervescence]

Don't do something rash. Excuse the presumption, but given your age and sex, I think you're likely to try ODing on the medicine cabinet. If that's the case, not gonna work.

I came out of a coma 2 weeks ago because by chance I was found, literally a 1/1000 chance. I don't want to be here, I cried and wished I was dead from the minute I woke up. i documented it al on my reddit lmfao it's the same as on here, this is what I want, I just don't want to be alone

 

[Haze]

No one wants you to be alone either. What are you planning to take tonight?

 

[efffervescence]

No one wants you to be alone either. What are you planning to take tonight?

I've got beta blockers, antipsychotics, benzos, strong painkillers, alcohol, ket and md. i'm good

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

I've got beta blockers, antipsychotics, benzos, strong painkillers, alcohol, ket and md. i'm good

what is "md"?

 

[Stillnotsure]

I've got beta blockers, antipsychotics, benzos, strong painkillers, alcohol, ket and md. i'm good

Beta blockers won't work, antipsychotics are a no go, skip it. These two will just make you more likely to puke and suffer horrible symptoms but aren't fatal. Benzos and painkillers have potential. Ket? As in ketamine? And what's md?

 

[efffervescence]

Beta blockers won't work, antipsychotics are a no go, skip it. These two will just make you more likely to puke and suffer horrible symptoms but aren't fatal. Benzos and painkillers have potential. Ket? As in ketamine? And what's md?

Betablockers work good enough when you're my weight and height (and left alone), I'm tiny b, the antipsychotics and benzos should help me sleep. goodbye

 

[Haze]

I hope you don't mind, but since you mentioned Reddit I checked your post history to see if I could get some clues about if you're making the right decision. I also have BPD and am going through similar things. I wish you wouldn't do this tonight, I don't think you're ready or that your method will even work.

 

[borntodie777]

Betablockers work good enough when you're my weight and height (and left alone), I'm tiny b, the antipsychotics and benzos should help me sleep. goodbye

Are you still here? We can talk if you want. My discord is newsreporter#9367

I am not good with conversations because I'm a depressed little idiot but whatever. Others are welcome to join as well

 

[efffervescence]

Betablockers work good enough when you're my weight and height (and left alone), I'm tiny b, the antipsychotics and benzos should help me sleep. goodbye

they did, but i wasted them all on an on chance attempt. read my reddit, even the nurses told me i was the only one to survive chest compressions so stop talking out of your ass. i'm ready to go, i wanted to go on the third but fuck it, the third is good enough and i've just heard that my cheating (now ex)bf has gotten with yet another person since telling me he wants to break up with me due to having no sex drive

 

[Stillnotsure]

they did, but i wasted them all on an on chance attempt. read my reddit, even the nurses told me i was the only one to survive chest compressions so stop talking out of your ass. i'm ready to go, i wanted to go on the third but fuck it, the third is good enough and i've just heard that my cheating (now ex)bf has gotten with yet another person since telling me he wants to break up with me due to having no sex drive

You are in acute crisis mode. We all know what this feels like. You are desperate right now for a way out. The reality is, we are trying to help you and save you from another situation like you just went through on the third.

On this website you will find many threads outlining methods that work, are more successful, and why.

You will also find methods that don't work, and why.

We know what we are talking about.

That said, you don't seem to be in a place right now where you can listen to us openmindedly and absorb what we are trying to tell you.

So, I will ask again. What is it you are looking for? How can we be of help?

 

[efffervescence]

You are in acute crisis mode. We all know what this feels like. You are desperate right now for a way out. The reality is, we are trying to help you and save you from another situation like you just went through on the third.

On this website you will find many threads outlining methods that work, are more successful, and why.

You will also find methods that don't work, and why.

We know what we are talking about.

That said, you don't seem to be in a place right now where you can listen to us openmindedly and absorb what we are trying to tell you.

So, I will ask again. What is it you are looking for? How can we be of help?

I've been suicidal for years. I don't want help I want a way out that isn't lonely.

 

[efffervescence]

You are in acute crisis mode. We all know what this feels like. You are desperate right now for a way out. The reality is, we are trying to help you and save you from another situation like you just went through on the third.

On this website you will find many threads outlining methods that work, are more successful, and why.

You will also find methods that don't work, and why.

We know what we are talking about.

That said, you don't seem to be in a place right now where you can listen to us openmindedly and absorb what we are trying to tell you.

So, I will ask again. What is it you are looking for? How can we be of help?

You can't. I have a peronsality disorder. Either comfort me or leave me? bye

 

[efffervescence]

Are you still here? We can talk if you want. My discord is newsreporter#9367

I am not good with conversations because I'm a depressed little idiot but whatever. Others are welcome to join as well

Can't find you

 

[Kyrok]

Taken the pills yet?

 

[TheCrow]

You can't. I have a peronsality disorder. Either comfort me or leave me? bye

I have a personality disorder, too. Get some weed and smoke it. Fuck your ex & his stupid dick that he either does or doesn't want to use. YOU MATTER, NOT HIM. This is YOUR life. Killing yourself over the stupid choices he makes lets him win. Dude, fuck him. Stay alive to hear about what STDs he's contracted. YOU ARE WHAT'S IMPORTANT.

 

[Kyrok]

Maybe the EX isnt her main reason.

 

[TheCrow]

Maybe the EX isnt her main reason.

True, true. Also didn't mean to sound like a pro-lifer or something there.

 

[iHeartRockArt]

they did, but i wasted them all on an on chance attempt. read my reddit, even the nurses told me i was the only one to survive chest compressions so stop talking out of your ass. i'm ready to go, i wanted to go on the third but fuck it, the third is good enough and i've just heard that my cheating (now ex)bf has gotten with yet another person since telling me he wants to break up with me due to having no sex drive

We understand you are desperate to leave, but please don't be disrespectful to those you are reaching out to. If you are asking for help and not wanting to be alone, telling the person to "stop talking out of your ass" isn't going to get you the comfort you need. You asked for someone to contact you if they want to CTB tonight, but that's most likely not going to happen. So everyone is trying to help you the only way they know how.
@Stillnotsure said it perfectly...they are only trying to help you through this situation and prevent you from going through the same agony that you are trying to avoid. There are things that could be more effective for you, and I believe they are truly concerned for you.

 

[LayZ]

I don't want help I want a way out that isn't lonely.

Accept that you have to die alone.
It's easier

 

[sif]

I've got beta blockers, antipsychotics, benzos, strong painkillers, alcohol, ket and md. i'm good

Be careful please. You haven't even stated doses. This is the exact kind of situation where people refer to the very low statistics of successful overdose. This is the kind of overdose that causes those skewed statistics. I really feel for you I do, I think I probably have a PD too and it ends with almost every interaction being a misunderstanding. You hate yourself, you're not worth anything, right?

It's true that it's easier to die alone and in my opinion the search for a partner was just another distraction and delay. It's both easier and harder alone, you think having a partner will be enough to push through that anxiety it takes to gather your method and get to the point where it takes no more real effort other than swallowing pills, right?

Don't do that overdose please. I understand you don't want to get better and you're under absolutely no obligation to recieve treatment. Living doesn't have to be living on someone elses terms and if you're not ready enough yet, even if it's just for the sake of finding a partner, then is there any way you can figure how to keep going, feed yourself, stay hydrated etc while keeping inside your comfort zone as much as possible? Are you on welfare? Do you have evidence of your PD with which you could claim welfare? Sorry if this is not what you want and I will stop, but I know what it's like and I know that personally right now, even though I wake up every day dreading what is to come, a part of me still has to work towards at least having somewhere to lay my head each night so I know that I'm not forced to die through homelessness.

 

[TheCrow]

I think I probably have a PD too and it ends with almost every interaction being a misunderstanding.

Omg, yes! That is exactly how I feel, and I've never been able to explain it so succinctly and so well. I'm sorry you feel this way, too. Everything sounds/feels so different in my head, but I can never get it to come out the way I want, and people are always mad at me or don't like me.

 

[sif]

Omg, yes! That is exactly how I feel, and I've never been able to explain it so succinctly and so well. I'm sorry you feel this way, too. Everything sounds/feels so different in my head, but I can never get it to come out the way I want, and people are always mad at me or don't like me.

That's very sweet of you, and it hurts badly when your own actions never match up to your own expectations. How are you supposed to do anything when you're so fundamentally broken?