Venting Extreme crippling anxiety, can never ace an interview and will never have a stable career and want to end myself

[flakeyknight]

People find it strange how I made it through college with above a 3 gpa in my major but am unable to find a job in my profession and have to work a job below my pay grade. Well I cant even ace a damn interview. Sometimes it feels like my head is about to explode when I talk. My speech comes out very awkwardly, the interviewers can detect trembling in my voice and i end up word salading. I cant even bring myself to practice and record because I hate the way my voice sounds and cant speak coherently. I work 2 jobs that arent in my profession. Everyone tells me I should be smart enough to work my profession. I know people would kill to be in my position. I have an income, education, degree but still feel like a failure, and with mounting student debt I cannot get any quality sleep worrying about my future. I cant even take afternoon naps because my heartbeat is always so fast.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Anxiety is debilitating, and can easily wreck your life. I am also experiencing the same problem right now with being unable to do the job I trained for due to severe anxiety. The despair and feelings of failure are a real thing. It sucks. I hear you.

Meds aren't always the answer, but have you tried any medication for anxiety? And I'm not talking Benzos that are going to sedate you. I recently started taking a daily medication for anxiety to see if it will help level me out. I've only been on it around a month so not really enough time to gauge whether it's working or not. But that might be something to look into if you haven't?

Social anxiety is tough. And on the spot interviews are god awful. You have the qualifications for the job. It's just the hurdle of getting through an interview. I would really try some medication if you can and see if that helps. Speaking to a therapist might also help if you're able to. You're not a lost cause, I promise. There is more for you ahead

 

[dead dav]

I feel your pain anxiety is awful hard to function I know

 

[needthebus]

People find it strange how I made it through college with above a 3 gpa in my major but am unable to find a job in my profession and have to work a job below my pay grade. Well I cant even ace a damn interview. Sometimes it feels like my head is about to explode when I talk. My speech comes out very awkwardly, the interviewers can detect trembling in my voice and i end up word salading. I cant even bring myself to practice and record because I hate the way my voice sounds and cant speak coherently. I work 2 jobs that arent in my profession. Everyone tells me I should be smart enough to work my profession. I know people would kill to be in my position. I have an income, education, degree but still feel like a failure, and with mounting student debt I cannot get any quality sleep worrying about my future. I cant even take afternoon naps because my heartbeat is always so fast.

You're doing so much better than so many people. Many people are in this situation, not just you. Keep trying. Also Joe Biden started out as a stutterer and became President. People do overcome these things with practice, although that sentiment may not help much right now as you may feel awful. I hope you find the job you want.