Existential OCD

[wildflowers1996]

I know I have OCD but I find it confusing that whenever I say I am overwhelmed by all the different beliefs about what happens after death, people think I'm being obsessive and worrying too much?

I went to therapy briefly for this and the therapist basically wanted me to do theory A (hell is a real threat) theory B (my fear of hell is the problem - I have OCD)

the problem is with something intangible like the afterlife, I feel I have NO way of accurately evaluating whether my fears if it are justified or not

I don't think there's a hell because I haven't been presented with enough evidence that convinces me, but I can't let it go because my brain says if there's a 0.0001 chance hell is real, it's something so terrible I NEED to put all my energy into researching and trying to avoid / help others avoid

I also just feel the question of whether or not there's an afterlife or God is so important.

If I could know for sure there's no afterlife? I can stop worrying about every little move I make, and feel both relieved (no more suffering) and very upset (no compensation for everyone who has suffered)

If I knew there WAS - or that there is a God who has given me some purpose on this Earth - then I can get on with fulfilling it.

But I don't know what to believe, no one in the world really knows for sure why we're here, so I feel paralysed.

It's just hard to motivate myself to keep looking into religion and spirituality when 99% of me thinks it's all made up.

 

[Eudaimonic]

I'm sorry that you're struggling with this. This is something that I personally struggle with, so I greatly empathize with your plight. I approach the myriad notions of "hell" from the expected value (probability * outcome) angle as well. The best advice I can give is what someone else suggested to me - this post. I still get intrusive thoughts around these things, but I'm able to keep them at bay most of the time by doing what's outlined in that post.

 

[wildflowers1996]

Thank you very much

It's not really my aim to reduce my short term distress regarding this though - I feel I need to KNOW the answers to my questions.

Maybe if I read the entire Bible and Quran and listen to enough apologists and pray enough and research other faiths as well I might eventually find the truth?

Extremely unlikely, which is why I find it so hard to motivate myself, but maybe I *should* be doing those things

 

[mrpeter]

Same with me even though I know for a fact God probably doesn't exist, but it is possible God exist but doesn't want us to know he exist. Why else would he not tell us? It seems like he wants us to be confused lol.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Thank you very much

It's not really my aim to reduce my short term distress regarding this though - I feel I need to KNOW the answers to my questions.

Maybe if I read the entire Bible and Quran and listen to enough apologists and pray enough and research other faiths as well I might eventually find the truth?

Extremely unlikely, which is why I find it so hard to motivate myself, but maybe I *should* be doing those things

That's the thing about OCD - it gives you a burning desire for certainty. But this is a matter in which you will never find certainty. Even if, say, you did somehow find the answers, what would you do with that information? What would it change, practically speaking? You cannot reason your way out of this.

 

[wildflowers1996]

That's the thing about OCD - it gives you a burning desire for certainty. But this is a matter in which you will never find certainty. Even if, say, you did somehow find the answers, what would you do with that information? What would it change, practically speaking? You cannot reason your way out of this.

If I found the answers it'd definitely influence how I act
E.g. If I found out Christianity was real, and hell was real, I'd be sharing everything I learnt everywhere and trying to save people from hell

 

[Eudaimonic]

If I found the answers it'd definitely influence how I act
E.g. If I found out Christianity was real, and hell was real, I'd be sharing everything I learnt everywhere and trying to save people from hell

Okay, fair enough, I suppose. At any rate, you won't find certainty in religion, or even in philosophy for that matter. The key to overcoming OCD is to overcome the need for certainty, not to become certain about the object driving the obsessions & compulsions.

 

[ShinyScissors]

I know I have OCD but I find it confusing that whenever I say I am overwhelmed by all the different beliefs about what happens after death, people think I'm being obsessive and worrying too much?

I went to therapy briefly for this and the therapist basically wanted me to do theory A (hell is a real threat) theory B (my fear of hell is the problem - I have OCD)

the problem is with something intangible like the afterlife, I feel I have NO way of accurately evaluating whether my fears if it are justified or not

I don't think there's a hell because I haven't been presented with enough evidence that convinces me, but I can't let it go because my brain says if there's a 0.0001 chance hell is real, it's something so terrible I NEED to put all my energy into researching and trying to avoid / help others avoid

I also just feel the question of whether or not there's an afterlife or God is so important.

If I could know for sure there's no afterlife? I can stop worrying about every little move I make, and feel both relieved (no more suffering) and very upset (no compensation for everyone who has suffered)

If I knew there WAS - or that there is a God who has given me some purpose on this Earth - then I can get on with fulfilling it.

But I don't know what to believe, no one in the world really knows for sure why we're here, so I feel paralysed.

It's just hard to motivate myself to keep looking into religion and spirituality when 99% of me thinks it's all made up.

Hey! As someone diagnosed with ocd I was there too! You're totally valid for feeling this way.

To be honest, I still don't have a clue what comes after cbt and it haunts me. For years I carried religious trauma that echoed the same narrative; what if there's the slightest chance that they're right and I'll be damned to eternal flame?

It took me a lot of self awareness to come to the conclusion that it's not something to be concerned about. Honestly screw that therapist for even planting that in your head and driving you more insane.

My own journey has shown me that science disproves the existence of hell, that religion weaponizes it is a fear tactic to maintain the church's image, and simply it doesn't make logical sense that some sky diddler is out to get me and punish my suffering with more suffering. Yea no, unfortunately nobody is that invested in me

Grounding yourself is KEY